terrified but waking up, child abuse, suicide etc.

by anon1028 14 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Phizzy

  Welcome Anon,

  I really feel for you in your circumstances, I was born in, and in for decades, when I left I too had thoughts of suicide and sought the help of an excellent Therapist, I was lucky, many people in those professions do not quite get the problem, but even so, any help they can offer should be taken. They are trained to help you to not only cope, but to find your way out of Depression, and to control, or "bury" it forever more.

  I am so pleased and grateful I got that help. Within a short time I was O.K again, and I experienced for the first time in my life what real, lasting happiness really was ! As I grew as a person, I became happy in my own skin.

  You have a wonderful life of freedom in front of you, you will meet many lovely people, make great friends, and probably fall in love. We only get this one life, as far as we know, it is down to us to work at making it the best we can for ourselves, and make it our aim to make the life of others pleasant too.

  All the very best to you ! And come back and Post again, we are here to support and help you through this difficult period, which will end. One day you will feel, and say to yourself, " Isn't life just great ?".
• 

  millie210

  Welcome Anon!

  I can tell from your words that you are strong. A strong personality is a good thing to have. I was having the same feelings as you at your age but I was far too meek and afraid of displeasing my family.

  Many wasted years later I got myself free. These are the best years of my life. The pure clean feeling of using my brain to think my own thoughts is the best feeling in the world.

  Many people who are young struggle to be free to be who they are. For some it is their sexuality, for others, it is the country they live in and for many, it is their family religion of origin. Believe it or not, there are many religions that treat their young people badly - Jehovah's Witnesses being one.

  Someone above mentioned exercise and fresh air, that is like medicine for your heart - do what you can to move your body and your mind will follow.

  I'm so glad you are here. In one way or another, we all relate to what you are going through and want to help you. We are all success stories growing at various stages because we have taken that first step - a quiet resolve to cherish ourselves and create a better future.

  You can be yourself here and we will listen and respect you.
• 

  cyberjesus

  Welcome. Congratulations on your "waking up" at 21. Some of us didn't wake up until way way later.... So you still have your 20's ahead of you.

  I would start creating a relationship with any non jw relative... the stronger the better... the more the better.. also with people outside a cult...

  Become financially independent and if you can start learning more skills... ideally in school but nowadays you can learn a lot online...

  Its like you are preparing for Armaggeddon... But this will be your personal one.. and the good news is that you might lose your family... but you wont lose your life... not yet :-) Sorry but there's no paradise with pet lions... your paradise started when you woke up... and it wont last forever.. so you better start enjoying whats left of it.

  Keep reading... act very slowly right now.
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  Thank you for sharing something so private and difficult to express, Anon1028. Most here continue to be anonymous for obvious reasons.

  If you feel suicidal at some point from here on out, please seek help, no matter how much trouble your family gives or gets because of it. In the USA, possibly where you are writing from, calling 911 can start such a process of forcing the issue to get needed help. Also, if eating too little or too much is a continuous problem, try to find help.

  But if everything is manageable, and 911 is not your answer, there are other ways to get help. Consider researching, starting perhaps at Amazon, an author named Bonnie Zieman- a former JW who is a therapist and whose books are wonderful at helping JW's/ex-JW's work through depression or doubt or other things. Her books were not out when I went through my doubting, so I did heavy research through various channels including counseling that my insurance helped pay for. I discovered Bonnie's books later and thought they would have been better than my path of self-help books and videos, or at least a great supplement.

  While it doesn't seem like it now, realizing the need to escape Jehovah's Witnesses at this young stage will be a benefit to you.

  I don't quite understand your current position with your biological brothers/sisters. I only read your initial first post. Are they younger, older? Whatever the case, try to stay in their lives to help them or they might help you. If not possible, and along with siblings, many of us former JW's have developed great friendships and consider friends to be our family.

  And certainly consider the people here as desirous of helping. But remember many of us have a chip on our shoulders, so when we say "F#$k 'em!" about some people, analyzing it for yourself can be helpful. Analyzing all things for yourself will help.

  I understand that you might need to prioritize getting on your own. I probably would do the same. But also consider making your career goals, including any education. It can be slow going if need be, but always look to move forward.

  When I have time, I will read this whole thread. Despite being out awhile, I enjoy the advice and stories of others. Good day.
• 

  LongHairGal

  ANON1028:

  It’s so heartbreaking to read stories like yours that reveal just how abusive and controlling the JW religion is for somebody raised in it!..Good that you let the world know.

  I know of two cases where JWs compelled minor teenage children to leave the home because they didn’t want the religion.. Fortunately, they turned out okay and are happy adults.

  Best of Luck to you.