For those with severe depression, with a potential of SUISIDE!

by cyberguy 15 Replies latest jw friends

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  DanTheMan

  I started having strong suicidal impulses while I was a JW. I felt like I was a complete failure, due to being "reproved", having my "priveleges" taken away, feeling like I was never going to live up to Jehovah's Righteous Standards(TM).

  I didn't do it because I didn't want to Bring Reproach On Jehovah's Organization (TM).

  The urge is still at a low simmer, it would absolutely shatter my family if I were to do it so that keeps me from seriously contemplating it. But if the world were to go absolutely nutso like what I expect, then I don't rule it out as being a perfectly rational option.

  Dan, not optimistic about humanity's future
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  Sassy

  I started having strong suicidal impulses while I was a JW.

  The thing is I know so many JWs with emotional ups and downs, many suicidal. Most of the time you don't get the love you should when you need it. Its stop your whining and get in service. No matter how much we ever did, it wasn't enough. How does one ever feel like they are good enough when all that is asked is MORE, MORE, MORE.. so if you never measure up, how good do you feel about yourself..

  In a way you are set up discouragement..
• 

  Turnpike Mike

  Add me to the list that tryed to commit suicide. (I failed of course!!)

  It was pouring rain out and I got in a huge fight with my dad. This was it for me. I had no way out. No where to go. No money. No car. Nothing to get me out of that house and the JW's.

  I ran up into the busy street we live on and jumped in front of a car. They swerved and missed and I layed there soaking wet on the pavement and in the fetal position crying. Wishing I was dead. I will never forget the sound of my mom screaming and crying like a baby while watching me get so close to death.

  I am better now and glad I didn't die. Isn't that funny how when you are in your parents home and have no choice on if you have to be a JW or not, that the only way out, for some, is suicide?
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  AJN

  Shamus - I agree with you - ppl in immediate danger of suicide need to get help immediately through the right channels. I posted that link because it is really helpful and validating and it gives ppl a chance to think about the pain outweighing the resources.

  Suicide and Crisis Helplines around the World: http://www.suicide-helplines.org/index.html

  There's a lot of phone numbers there that would help anyone in need.
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  cyberguy

  Thanks AJN! I'll keep this link around (for U.S. posters)!
• 

  cyberguy

  Hey "Turnpike Mike!" Glad you didn't get hit and that you found this board! There's been a number of JW's that I've helped over the years, cope with depression. A couple of years ago, I believe I prevented a young guy, a "Pioneer," about 25, from hanging himself. It sounds like you're a young-guy, struggling with life (normal struggles), but with the extreme, added weight put on JW's! Were you raised in the "truth?" Anyway, WELCOME TO THIS BOARD!