by YellowLab 64 Replies latest jw experiences
just take a look at all the disfellowshipped ones for immorality, and multiply that by 10 for those judically reproved for it, and multiply that by perhaps 10 again for those doing it secretly but too chicken shit to 'fess...
I guess pretending to be pure innocent angels in a pure clean spiritual paradise does have a hornifying effect...
Oh hey, hey, hey Cassiline!
Men who make the rules. MEN who wanted such. I look on and laugh even harder at your statement when reading about women who at this moment in time are being stoned by men for not remaining monogamous.Who is under whose thumb again?
Wow, very good and very valid points. I am blown away. I feel like searching for my I Am Woman by Helen Reddy MP3 and playing it loudly and over and over again.
Besides, what woman would be smug about having to force her man not to cheat on her, having him under her thumb so to speak, as in Czar's comment?
If you want to *#%@ around on a woman or man then why not scout for your next mate at a swinger's convention? They have them, you know? Otherwise don't whine when someone falls in love with you and expects you to be exclusive. Yes, there are clubs for people who have no qualms about sex with multiple partners. Join one and stop brooding.
Again, Cassiline, very pointed and very true. I only hope certain posters read what you said and really think about it. Because your comments are the TRUTH. Czar's logic sounds like it's borrowed from a college course on human sexuality that was heavily peppered with the twisted rantings of some horny, misogynistic, bitter, middleaged, male professor whose wife won't let him play around. Either that or Hugh Hefner trying to justify 50 years of exploiting men and women.
Heather
One more time: You go, Cassiline!
I think infidelity among the JW's is probably as rampant as it is in other groups of people, however the very nature of the offense, when it is discovered by fellow congregationalists, is so horrific to them that they sensationalize it, making it seem to be more than it is: human fallibility. They live in such a cloistered and sheltered society, which promotes them to themselves, and the world, as more pure than the rest of the "heathen masses" that when it does happen, and people find out about it, they are temporarily brought out of their delusional world by the shock, and it seems to make waves such as a rock thrown in a pond.
My firm belief is that both sexes have certain very fundamental needs on both primary and secondary levels, and these are: food, sleep, shelter, water, social stimulation, and sex. To deny any of these needs can cause an individual great distress or death, especially the food, water and sleep part! I think sexuality and social interactions are a basic and fundamental part of being a human being, and they need to be explored fully, in a healthy context, in order that the individual has a well-adjusted and balanced outlook.
True, there are societal controls on sexuality and social interaction, and even more controls within the Society, which is where the problem lies. Young people are not able to participate in normal healthy interactions with those of the opposite sex without being carefully monitored by the Society in the prescribed context. This causes the individual's sense of self to be severely diminished, and emotional development to stop dead in its tracks. Sexuality, and relationships, in relation to self, cannot be fully explored and navigated properly, so it causes a great deal of frustration and anger for the person.
They end up getting married too early because of Paul's admonition that it is better to be married than filled with lust, which could cause them to sin. Since they have not had the proper outlets or experience in personal interactions because of Societal regulations, they end up making a big mess out of the marriage just because they are too young, and not experienced and mature enough. Alot of times they will seek outside "confirmation" of their femininity or masculinity, or just to see what they missed out on.
I dunno.. I think all people should fully explore *all* sides of their desires, wants, and needs.. within reason.. so that they can be the best human they can possibly be, and have something good to bring to the table when they marry someone they truly love AND like!
CG
But there are two different (albeit equally as screwed up and artificial) rules for men, and women in dubdom. There is a distinction made between a man and a woman. Men are always right, held in high regard, leaders of the household, etc....
personally I think that being raised a JW put me in a volnerable position. The first relationship I 'fell' into was with a brother and he was into S&M. I think JWs are the perfect background for a woman to be a sub. We were told to obey our husbands, to put them before ourselves. To be 'submissive'. Of course the S&M world is not what they are trying to have, that takes it a step farther but in a way, it is the best training to be one. I was vulnerable and more than willing to please, because after all, isn't that what a good little JW wife will do?
Czar's logic sounds like it's borrowed from a college course on human sexuality that was heavily peppered with the twisted rantings of some horny, misogynistic, bitter, middleaged, male professor whose wife won't let him play around. Either that or Hugh Hefner trying to justify 50 years of exploiting men and women.
Heather
I think you hit the nail on the head!
Cassi
I want to be clear. I am not JW, nor is my intention to be disrespectful to JW, or make any opinion towards it. I respect all religions and believe nobody has a right to disrespect another's beliefs. I will be respectful and hope in my honesty I don't offend.
I searched for an answer to, how JW, view, or react, or handle infidelity. There is a reason, and it's one that I guess I'm looking for b/c the topic touched my life, and I can only stay connected by asking questions.
"The heart wants what the heart wants."
I became involved with a young lady that I later found out was/is JW. We meet at work. She was/is married (this I knew). I was attracted to her, and flirted. When I saw she was married (ring), I retreated with with my advances respectfully and we became friends. We'd talk at work liked, and commented on fb stuff. We shared videos, music, etc. and we would sometimes talk via message apps.
It was innocent enough. I never asked if her husband knew anything about us being friends, I didn't hide anything from anyone. Too me there was nothing to hide. We're both adults and I never would have thought to ask if he knew who I was. To me we were friends. It wasn't like flirty or dirty in any way. We spoke as much as I spoke w/ any of my friends.
I'll cut this down some.
Over time, it did turn into flirty and she'd tell me things about her marriage being a unhappy one. Stories of him being unfaithful and how they hadn'tt slept together for more than 6 months. She was afraid of him and she didn't see it laying much longer.
Ok, I know that red flags should have been popping up and they were. To understand more you'd really need to know more about me.
We began an affair that, I thought and believed 100% , that had a future. (I know, I know) Looking back, I'd have done things different. I wanted us to come clean, and help her get out of what I believed to be a dangerous situation.
Another shortcut...
It lasted about 5 months, and she broke my heart. I'd never been with anyone I could feel like as I did with her. .
Just short of a year and a half passed(1.4 months) and we finally began to actually look at one another again. I missed her terribly. I had a train wreck of another short relationship that left me weary and broken down. Then, she asked if we could talk. She apologized, said she couldn't bare to not have me in her life.
What can I say? I jumped at the chance. I needed...... Idk. I just needed her. No promises of her having a divorce. She was still completely unhappy but couldn't bare the thought of putting her children through that. I know how wrong it was. I know I'm to blame every bit as much this time. I am well aware, trust me.
Anyway.... 4 months, and gone.
I have no place for forgiveness any longer. I only wish I didn't have to see her at work. I have a good job that I've worked hard to get to.
I'm sorry about telling that here now that I see there is not any question or answer in my writing.
Once again it's the searching that keeps me connected to the memories of how I feel when I was together with her. Believe me when I say that, "It wasn't the sex". It was all the other stuff. Honesty (atleast in my part), trust, calmness, it's like everything slowed down when I was involved with her. There was much more, than just, what everyone thinks. IDK...
Anyway, she's JW, which is just another thing I knew about her and asking the searching the question I did and writing all this somehow makes me feel....
Infidelity occurs in the JWS religion like other identified religious groups, in including fornication, adultery and pedophilia.
By their clergy heads as well.
Sorry but facts are the facts.
From my personal experience, I have a feeling Infidelity may be a bit higher than other religions among JW's, and possibly a bit higher than among the general public ??
I knew of many cases in our own Congo. and surrounding ones. One big case happened in a close by Congo, actual wife swapping involving M.S's as well as ordinary JW's.
I was "offered it on a plate" at least three or four times, two were just horny sisters wanting me to shag them, maybe nothing more, one I got dangerously close to actually going ahead, it was flirting that led eventually to me being infatuated, but never did I weaken, I am so glad, to have sacrificed my marriage would have been the worst decision of my life. And I learned in the end that the girl I was infatuated with was an utter witch, and simply wanted out from her marriage. She engineered a Divorce, quite how I am not sure, her husband was a nice guy, before that had gone through she latched on to a JW guy about 10 years younger than her, and eventually married him.
One Elder said to me that " we have had every sin in our Congregation, except Murder". True for most Congos. I guess.
This despicable disregard for moral principles might explain of course why islam outstrips in growth the wt religion with it's fake spirituality
ive had 4 liaisons..1 with a pimi married sister who got herself d/f and divorced over it---the other 3 were already out. 2 of them i still chat to on facebook.
