Lee
Bless your heart. Please understand you have nothing to apologize for. Yours is a kind, giving and beautiful spirit.
With all the trouble you've experienced with the orthotics, I'm starting to wonder if there is another solution. I know nothing (literally) about this problem, but I keep thinking there must be another way to solve your physical issues. That's probably the stubborn part of me, but is there a way to "think outside the box" to use another expression. Is there alternative treatments that could address the problem instead of orthotics? I'm just asking, so please forgive me if I sound even more ignorant than I normally am!
Try the anti-depressants. Give it a few weeks, but honestly I know you well enough that to say that you'll know in your gut if this is headed in the right direction for you. You are intuitive and in touch with your body enough to know what is, and isn't, working. I tried them for several months when I was in therapy and, against my psychiatrists' wishes, I went off of them. It wasn't working and I didn't need to wait the prescribed time to know it. You are more intelligent than I, and more in touch, so I encourage you to remember you are in charge of your body.
I'm glad to hear it is helping you sleep. Realize sleep deprivation is a form of torture, so if you are not getting good, restful sleep, it will affect your mental outlook.
Lee, you are a special woman, and I'm very glad I've gotten to know you this past year or so. We're all in this life together, and we can draw strength from each other. You've got a lot of people cheering for you, me included.
You're going to be okay.
Be well,
Chris