"I still miss it Dad" My 41 Year Son Admitted

by 1234 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • 1234
    1234

    On the 18th of September I turned in my Disassociation Letter in to the Tigard Congregation, 19 years ago.

    My son turned in his letter in November 2001, 19 years ago shortly after me. He was 21 years old.

    Two days ago we were working together on a wrap for his A/C unit on his bus.

    Out of blue, he says "I still miss it Dad. Not the religion. I'm so glad we are out of that. I miss my friends, I miss the weddings and gatherings. I miss being able to sit and rap with my friends, The guys I grew up with."

    "Yes, I know what you mean."

    Yes, it's been 19 years and we are still feeling the pain of shunning.

    Our friends ripped from us simple because we decided not to be in the same religion as them. If it had been another religion no big deal. However not so with the Jehovah's Witnesses.

    One constellation, at least my grand children will not have to deal with this kind of mental abuse.

  • road to nowhere
    road to nowhere

    We are outsiders. Not in any more but having a paucity of secular experiences in our formative years think xmas, birthdays, military, Halloween. Even if we fudged (my mother sent me to b days. We did haloween) there was a background guilty feeling.

  • Mr.Finkelstein
    Mr.Finkelstein
    Being in association with a lying corrupt and deadly cult is never a good thing for anybody.

    You can make better and real friends without being in a religoius cult.

    Yes sometimes I think about where and what happened to the friends I made at the Kingdom Hall, some good people some bad, I resolved also that many probably left the JWS as well.

    People are generally social and caring upon each other so when you live in a environment of group think and group identity it makes for a psychological situation of these are my loyal and true friends and further creates a basis of self worth and value.

    The problem with those accepted values is that it is actually harmful to each individual on many levels, such as being saturated in human ignorance and fear.

  • Magnum
    Magnum

    I miss it, too, but for a different reason. I miss what I thought it was before I found out what it really is. I miss the exciting, seemingly wholesome, district conventions in the 70's & 80's. I thought I was part of something good and special. I so wanted the "new world" wherein justice and goodness and happiness would prevail. I miss that feeling of security I had back then... the looking forward to the future.

    My wife and I don't miss individual JWs. We actually don't want to ever see them again and do our best to avoid them. They just weren't our type.

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    It's human nature to look back on the past with rose colored glasses. Even abused children can look back on certain aspects of their childhood with fondness.

    If your son could snap his fingers and step back to that time period knowing what he knows now, it's likely he'd take one look around and want to leave. He'd realize that it wasn't as good as he is remembering that it was.

  • Betheliesalot
    Betheliesalot

    I would just like the ones I knew, could see me now, doing things most people do for enjoyment and pleasure , not things like robotic , as attending assemblies, or participating in JW speak.

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut
    I would just like the ones I knew, could see me now, doing things most people do for enjoyment and pleasure , not things like robotic , as attending assemblies, or participating in JW speak.

    Yes...it is very satisfying to run into former JW friends and have them be amazed that you're looking so well and that your life isn't the train wreck that they fully expected it to be.

    When we left the "Truth" I half expected my life to be cursed by God or to receive an onslaught tribulation from Satan. Instead, the years of anxiety that I suffered through as a JW, disappeared as if overnight. I landed the best job I ever had, our son enrolled in university and ended up with a degree and a job as an Environmental Scientist and so on. A tiny part of the former superstitious JW part of my brain suspected that all this success could be Satan rewarding me for going against Jehovah. Fortunately I was old enough to realize that this was nonsense and went out of my way to prove them wrong. But some young former JW's don't have the benefit of hindsight and fall into the trap of letting the old superstitious worrisome JW mindset, control them.

    I wish that every former JW could have the same success that I had and many, if not most ; do well. Unfortunately, "still in" JW's don't hear of, or don't speak about them. They only discuss the ones who fit their narrative. The ones who because of the low opinion of themselves that they were conditioned to believe, headed straight for the things not worth having in this world, simply because as JW's they were taught that if you're not a JW, then you are "worldly" and "worldly people" only do bad.

  • titch
    titch

    1234: Interesting post. But, I must ask, "One constellation? I know you probably meant "one consolation." As you probably know, a constellation is a grouping of stars. Maybe you had astronomy on your mind when you wrote the posting. Astronomy is an an interesting subject to get into! Best Regards

    Titch

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    The greatest revenge is living a happy & successful life!

  • 1234
    1234

    titch

    After being on this web site/sight for over 18 years everyone here knows I'm a shitty speller!

    Being raised a JW remember they discouraged education.

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