Rx for Holiday Blues: Coping with the Ups and Downs of the Holiday Season
by Gregg KrechIdeally, the holiday season should be a time for good cheer. But for many, they are also a time for loneliness, sadness, anxiety, depression, and family conflict. Frequently people feel a profound sense of relief once the holidays are over. It's a bit ironic that we should look forward to the end of this season, when it could be a time for celebration, thanksgiving, and family reunion. Here are seven things you can do to make this a better holiday season for you and those around you:
1. De-commercialize your Holidays
For many families the "real" meaning of the holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc...) gets buried in hi-tech presents, credit card debt, shopping at malls, football games and parties with lots of unhealthy food. Five years ago my wife and are read an article by environmentalist Bill McKibben called The $100 Christmas. The theme of the article was to de-commercialize the holidays by taking the emphasis off of buying lots of gifts and redirecting energy towards family, spending time with friends and rediscovering the meaning of the holidays. McKibben suggested spending no more than $100 on gifts. So we started making apple sauce and wreaths from wild grapevines. We spent more time walking on quiet, snowy roads and less time navigating crowded malls. I learned to play a few Christmas Carols on the piano and we sang them while being warmed by the fire in our wood stove. My wife baked cookies sweetened with Vermont maple syrup. We've continued this for the past few holiday seasons, making slight adaptations each year. Each Christmas Day we walk around the woods and leave bird seed for the birds. The money we save on gifts is given to charity and we don't have any horrifying credit card statements to review in January (what a terrible way to start the new year). Try rethinking your holidays this year. Throw out some of your old traditions and start some new ones that give more meaning and spirit to your celebration.
The $100 figure was a useful anchor against the constant seductions of the advertisers, a way to explain to children why they weren't getting everything on their list. So far, our daughter, Sophie, does fine at Christmas. Her stocking is exciting to her; the tree is exciting; skating on the pond is exciting. It's worth mentioning, however, that we don't have a television, so she may not understand the degree of her impoverishment. This holiday idea may sound modest. It is modest. And yet at the same time it's pretty radical. Christmas, it turns out, is a bulwark of the nation's economy. Many businesses -- bookstores, for instance, where I make my living -- do one-third of their volume in the months just before December 25th. And so it hits a nerve to question whether it all makes sense, whether we should celebrate the birth of a man who said we should give all that we have to the poor by showering each other with motorized tie racks.~McKibben
How to Have a Great Holiday on Just $100
By Bill McKibben
The year that a few friends and I started the $100 Holiday program, several business-page columnists leveled the G-word -- Grinch -- at us because we were asking our families and our friends to limit their holiday spending to a hundred dollars.
So it was with some trepidation that I reread my daughter's copy of How the Grinch Stole Christmas. As we all know, at the end of the story Whoville celebrates Christmas even without their presents and trees.
But Dr. Seuss's message went deeper for me. The more we progressed on our campaign, the more we came to understand why people were responding. It wasn't because we wanted a simpler Christmas at all. It was because we wanted a more joyous Christmas.
Christmas had become something to endure at least as much as something to enjoy. Instead of an island of peace, it was an island of bustle. The people we talked to wanted more out of Christmas: more music, more companionship, more contemplation, more time outdoors, more love. And they realized that to get it, they needed less of some other things: not so many gifts, not so many parties, not so much hustle.
There's nothing magic about $100. And, obviously, big families may decide to spend more. But the $100 goal works well as a check, a way of saying that your commitment to a better Christmas goes beyond merely telling yourself that this year will be different. After all, there is no ideal Christmas, only the Christmas you decide to make as a reflection of your values, desires, affections and traditions.
2. Keep your sugar intake low
Don't underestimate the role of two essential holiday villians when it comes to depression, fatigue and irritability ? alcohol and sugar. Both are drugs and according to Kathleen DesMaisons, Ph.D. (author of Potatoes Not Prozac); they wreak havoc with your blood sugar system. You might get a quick "lift" from some Christmas cookies with green icing. But it may not be long before you find yourself craving a cup of coffee or a piece of pie just to help you feel a bit more alert. Whatever goes up must come down ? and that's particularly true of your blood sugar. And as your blood sugar levels crash so does your energy level and your spirits.
Psychiatrist William Philpott, M.D. tells of a woman who was hospitalized because she was depressed and suicidal. He did a six-hour glucose tolerance test for hypoglycemia. "One hour after giving her glucose, I checked on her. Her blood sugar was high - 180 - and her mood had drastically changed to euphoria. Two hours later, her blood sugar had dropped to 40, and her mood had dropped right down with it. There she was in the depths of depression again." If you struggle with depression and fatigue during the holidays, this is the time to just say no to holiday treats and champagne refills.
3. Get outside and exercise
Exercise can play an important role in lifting your spirits and fighting off depression; in fact, it can be as effective as medication with less side effects. As an extra bonus, you can get some natural sunlight while your outside (which also helps to fight depression during winter months). The holidays can be a busy time for many of us. Make sure you continue to set aside some time to get your body and mind moving in a healthy direction.
4. Stop trying to control your family members
Many of us use the holidays as a time for reconnecting with our families including those family members who would be doing so much better if they would just take our advice about how to fix their lives. Of course they haven't in the past, but this might just be the time they're ready to listen to us and "see the light." As an alternative, why not leave our teacher/counselor hat in the closet and just concentrate on being a loving son/sister/cousin/parent. We can play this role quite well without ever giving advice. And if someone else is trying to fix our life, well, just listen, thank them for their concern, and perhaps ask them if they'd like to go outside and help feed the birds.
5. Do something for others - not just your own family
Some of the most memorable and rewarding holiday experiences were when I stepped outside my own needs and problems and did something helpful for others. On several Thanksgivings I served meals at a homeless shelter. And I spent many Christmas mornings helping kids in a Children's hospital open gifts. Last year I spent Christmas day with my about-to-be-adopted daughter in Vietnam. In retrospect, I got much more from these experiences than I gave. They were often the high point of my holidays and helped me get some perspective on my own difficulties and struggles. What could be more in line with the holiday spirit than to help a neighbor, or friend, or even a perfect stranger?6. Reflect on your Good FortuneFor the past nine years I have used the time around Thanksgiving as a way of reflecting on my life, particularly my good fortune. I participate in a 30 day self-reflection program sponsored by the ToDo Institute that establishes a daily exercise in self-reflection for the entire month of November. Generally, on Thanksgiving or the day before, I make a list of 100 things for which I am most grateful at this point in my life. The list changes each year. Self-reflection helps me shift my attention to the practical ways the world is supporting me so I don't just take these things for granted (for example, hot water for a shower). It also inspires me to want to give something back in return.7. Focus on the presentMuch of our emotional suffering occurs because our attention either jumps to the future (worries about what will happen) or drifts to the past (sadness about what already happened). If we can develop more skill at keeping our attention present we are more likely to become fully absorbed in what we are doing in the present moment. We may be helping to cook some squash for dinner, or playing with our niece in the snow. The present moment is our real life. If we fail to pay attention we are more likely to struggle with psychological problems while our real life passes us by. Finally, don't expect to feel happy, grateful and joyful throughout the holidays. It's not natural. What is natural is the ebb and flow of feelings from one moment to the next. When those inevitable moments of depression, fatigue or anxiety present themselves, don't let them paralyze you or throw you off course. Just take them along on your walk or let them accompany you while you bake some bread. They'll move on, just as sure as winter will turn into spring.Gregg Krech is a leading authority on Japanese methods of psychology (Morita and Naikan) and author of the award-winning book, Naikan: Gratitude, Grace and the Japanese Art of Self-Reflection (Stone Bridge Press, 2002) He is the the Director of the ToDo Institute near Middlebury, Vermont and conducts workshops and retreats for businesses, churches, and non-profit organizations. His work has been featured on National Public Radio and in popular magazines.For additional information alternative holiday celebrations contact the Center for the New American Dream at www.newdream.org. Holiday Depression & StressThe holiday season is a time full of joy, cheer, parties, and family gatherings. However, for many people, it is a time of self-evaluation, loneliness, reflection on past failures, and anxiety about an uncertain future.
What Causes Holiday Blues?Many factors can cause the "holiday blues": stress, fatigue, unrealistic expectations, over-commercialization, financial constraints, and the inability to be with one?s family and friends. The demands of shopping, parties, family reunions, and house guests also contribute to feelings of tension. People who do not become depressed may develop other stress responses, such as: headaches, excessive drinking, over-eating, and difficulty sleeping. Even more people experience post-holiday let down after January 1. This can result from disappointments during the preceding months compounded with the excess fatigue and stress. Coping with Stress and Depression During the Holidays Keep expectations for the holiday season manageable. Try to set realistic goals for yourself. Pace yourself. Organize your time. Make a list and prioritize the important activities. Be realistic about what you can and cannot do. Do not put entire focus on just one day (i.e., Thanksgiving Day) remember it is a season of holiday sentiment and activities can be spread out (time-wise) to lessen stress and increase enjoyment. Remember the holiday season does not banish reasons for feeling sad or lonely; there is room for these feelings to be present, even if the person chooses not to express them. Leave "yesteryear" in the past and look toward the future. Life brings changes. Each season is different and can be enjoyed in its own way. Don?t set yourself up in comparing today with the "good ol? days." Do something for someone else. Try volunteering some time to help others. Enjoy activities that are free, such as driving around to look at holiday decorations; going window shopping without buying; making a snowperson with children. Be aware that excessive drinking will only increase your feelings of depression. Try something new. Celebrate the holidays in a new way. Spend time with supportive and caring people. Reach out and make new friends or contact someone you have not heard from for awhile. Save time for yourself! Recharge your batteries! Let others share responsibility of activities. Can Environment Be a Factor?
Recent studies show that some people suffer from seasonal affective disorder (SAD) which results from fewer hours of sunlight as the days grow shorter during the winter months. Phototherapy, a treatment involving a few hours of exposure to intense light, is effective in relieving depressive symptoms in patients with SAD.
Other studies on the benefits of phototherapy found that exposure to early morning sunlight was effective in relieving seasonal depression. Recent findings, however, suggest that patients respond equally well to phototherapy whether it is scheduled in the early afternoon. This has practical applications for antidepressant treatment since it allows the use of phototherapy in the workplace as well as the home.
For More Information:Contact you local community mental health center, or: National Mental Health Association
2001 N. Beauregard Street, 12th FloorSo, how can you alleviate the tensions this holiday season and help avoid depression? The National Mental Health Association recommends these steps:
1) Keep your expectations for the holidays manageable.
2) Keep in mind that you don't have to be happy all the time.
3) Look to the future; don't focus on past holidays.
4) Volunteer. Doing something for others is fulfilling and releases tension.
5) Refrain from excessive drinking. This will only intensify any problems or tensions. Alcohol is a depressant and will only exacerbate depression.
6) Experience new holiday celebrations -- be creative and make it fun.
7) Spend time with supportive and caring people. Make new friends and reconnect with the old.
8) Save time -- don't take on too many responsibilities. Divvy up the jobs, and kill two birds with one stone. Let others share in the fun of holiday preparations.
9) Pace yourself and stay structured. Don't overdo it with shopping and parties. You don't have to go to everything. But, participate in activities you know you will enjoy.
10) Talk about fond memories and missed loved ones and remember only the good times.
11) Anticipate and avoid situations where you know you will be uncomfortable, or where you know people there will upset you.
12) If you do feel down and out or hopeless, seek professional help. Or call the State Psychological Association at 1-800-964-2000 for professional assistance.
Alexandria, VA 22311
Phone 703/684-7722
Fax 703/684-5968
800/969-NMHA
TTY Line 800/433-5959
Happy Holidays JWD!
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