On to the next stage of being shunned

CruithneLaLuna

If anyone can be said to have "asked for it" by their behavior, I suppose it would be me. Not only did I turn my back on the organization and walk away, but I got involved with "false religion," and wrose yet with Neo-Paganism and the occult. (Oooh, creepy! demons....) And although I'm still developing a political stance and will accept no particular label in that regard, my input, processing, and output in that area seem to lean rather far to the left, and toward activism rather than the passive stance that is the only one that JWs can approve. (Again, falling in league with the devil.) So, it should not surprise me that my efforts to maintain a minimal level of contact with my children (now 18 and 14) should finally be pointedly rejected. My most recent letter to them came back, labeled "Return to Sender" - reason given: "Refused."

At least I am setting an example (a very bad one, obviously) of doing what one believes is right and accepting the consequences therefor. I am doing this as fully and zealously now as I did when I was a JW. I know no other way to behave. I hate hypocrisy, and don't understand those who can behave hypocritically, or out of harmony with their beliefs. That is a form of internal dissonance for which I have almost no tolerance.

You wonder what my feelings are about my kids cutting me off and being so pointed about it. (This is, in effect, saying, "Please don't send us any more mail. We DO NOT want to hear from you, at all.") I am not angry. I am not even hurt, really. I understand that this is a natural consequence of where they are spiritually / mentally / emotionally, and the places to which my development has led me. I have understood and have been prepared ot accept the consequences of my actions. That includes having taught my kids, when I was a JW, that if I ever "turned against Jehovah," their obligation to Jehovah would be to love him more, and to follow the Bible's direction in their treatment of me. They are doing a great job of following the teachings of the Bible (as explained by the WTS) and of the their parents and step-father.

I am not posting this to garner sympathy, just as "news" of interest to ex-JWs.

Warm regards,

George

czarofmischief

Tough. Hang in there.

Time passes, and the wheel turns. They'll come around, hopefully.

CZAR

Dansk

Hi George,

I can identify with you. My own story is here http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/47295/1.ashx

At least I am setting an example (a very bad one, obviously) of doing what one believes is right and accepting the consequences therefor. I am doing this as fully and zealously now as I did when I was a JW. I know no other way to behave. I hate hypocrisy, and don't understand those who can behave hypocritically, or out of harmony with their beliefs. That is a form of internal dissonance for which I have almost no tolerance.

My respect for you has increased ten-fold! It's hard to lose family, but given the choice between losing them to a lie or walking in truth then I would choose to walk in truth every time! I could not sit through another of those wretched self-glorifying congregation meetings for anyone. I have vowed NEVER to set foot in a kingdom hall again and that includes funerals.

I have been through the whole gamut of emotions and my conscience is clear. I may or may not see my two daughters again but if I have to go to my grave before ever speaking with them at least I go with a pure conscience. If we do not live by integrity then our lives are meaningless!

I despise hypocrisy too and I'm pleased you have stuck to your guns. However, I can understand how difficult it is for those desperate to get out of Watchtower but fearful of losing family. I cannot judge them harshly because it's an horrendously difficult decision and our situations are not always the same.

I admire your bravery in your situation. It takes real guts to do what you did. Having a good conscience certainly helps.

I hope it all turns out well for you.

Ian

Sirona

George,

Thanks for posting that.

If anyone can be said to have "asked for it" by their behavior, I suppose it would be me.

Noone asks to be shunned by family. They're not showing true love. They may not agree with your actions, but many Christians would still treat you with respect and love if you were part of their family.

I respect your stand and admire your strength. I do not have children so I don't know how I'd feel if JW children were involved. Did you "come out" about your paganism to your JW family? I still haven't fully come out about my current beliefs (Wicca), although over the last year or so my mum has realised that I am part of another religion and that it isn't christian. I think that's all she wants to know.

I struggled at first with paganism and the occult. It took me a long, long time before I would even cast my own circle or do anything active in the religion due to fear instilled in me by the JWs. Now I know it for the beautiful thing that it is, and know that theirs is just a different view that shouldn't affect me.

Sirona

marriedtodamob

Thank you for posting George-being true to one's self and honoring that which is within you will keep you happy, healthy and sane my dear fellow Celt!

eilis n'rhodlann (mobbie)

ChimChim

Being shunned is tough. I personally don't know exactly what it feels like but my mother has been shunned by my dad and the rest of the side of his family and that bother me more than it bothers her because I feel that I dont have a family to look up to because they never even talk.

But hang in there.

C.C

Yerusalyim

Are you sure it's the kids rejecting the letters, or is it Mom rejecting it? My two cents worth...keep sending the mail...and become a conservative politically.

Sassy

Its ironic that I am in the same situation only for the opposite reasons. Because I chose to be firm about setting a good example and staying a JW when getting divorced, my children discontinued having anything to do with me. But I was told I was doing the right thing and thereby lost them. Now that I am out, there is still much damage and scars from our broken relationship for so many years. There is nothing more painful than losing our children.

arrowstar

((George))

Lisa

tink

that really sucks, george. hopefully one day your children will realize that theyre making a mistake and sacrificing something valuable. the fact that you have tried to contact them is very commendable and i do hope you continue to try. i'd have given anything to have my dad try and forge a relationship with me. you're being a good father, and despite the fact that they may not be able to see that right now, perhaps one day they will be able to look back and acknowledge this.

On to the next stage of being shunned

Share this