I've had two weddings. My first marriage was a huge Catholic wedding with 250+ people and huge reception. Parents didn't come to it. Going to a worldly wedding in a Catholic church was too pagan. LOL! So I sent pictures. I was devastated by their lack of attendance. Seriously upset for years.
Last year I wed for the second time to my best friend. It was much smaller and a cake and punch ceremony. I invited my parents and even offered to make it a non-religious civil ceremony. They still refused to come. I thought I'd be upset again, but I wasn't. I realized several things. One, the wedding is one day. The marriage is a lifetime. I chose to focus more attention in the details of my future marriage than on the details of the wedding. Two, with as strained as my relationship is with my folks, their attendance at the wedding would probably stress me out more than me being upset at their absence. So my uncle gave me away. Several people from this board sat in the front row on my side, representing the family I didn't have. It was wonderful! THE perfect day!
Although it may pain you now, later you will realize it's better that way. Why waste your day on honored guests that treat you like crap? Keep us updated.
My parents did not come to my first or my second marriage.
But I was very lucky my second marriage; 1st I found the man of my dreams and my best friend 2nd my 3 and 4 year old son's walked me down the aisle and "gave me away".
My sister did come to my 2nd wedding and even agreed to be in the wedding. It was held outside with a Methodist preacher presiding.
My mother, step father and younger brother attended my wedding. My father and other brother did not reply to the wedding invitation. My sister was unable to attend due to timing/work and other obligations but was very sweet to have sent a card and present. The wedding was outside at a country club and completely non-religious (our choice - not to please anyone else in doing it this way)
My boss, who was more like a dad to me, walked me down the isle - which was very special. Hopefully you will be able to think of someone else who could walk you down the isle, or you could walk down with your partner or on your own....lots of different ways it's done now. Our wedding was attended by my husbands family and many dear friends.
At first I was disappointed/upset that people are unable or unwilling to attend but then I decided to focus on what the day was really about and to and celebrate with those people that were able to attend and wanted to be there. The day could not have been more perfect!
So much can change from the time one dreams of there wedding, to being engaged, to the actual wedding date... it is quite a ride but enjoy it when your time comes and hopefully it will still be a dream come true for you.
