How Have You Regained Your Optimism (if you have)?

bisous

My experience in the JWs and now that I am out is I am robbed of most of my optimism.

While in....we were taught fear and 2 choices....eternal life on earth under much the same administration which was full of drudgery, judgement, motivation by guilt....OR....death. Period. End Of Sentence.

Now that I am out...it has been impossible for me to find interest in other religions and spiritual teachings. I am left now with 1 choice....death. Period. End Of Sentence.

It is a challenge to reconnect with optimism...a sense of wonder and joy...with this prospect. I know, I know, what about live for today, it is all we are promised, etc. But as each day, month, year passes....I am imbued more and more with a 'What's It All About, Alfie' spirit....what's the use, the purpose....look around at the world, the people, the grayness of existence....

I have cynicism (vs. optimism)....humor (vs. happiness)...sarcasm (vs. empathy)...suspicion (vs. trust)...and

What have you used to replace the sect's teachings? How to regain optimism re: life?

Mysterious

I've become a lot more caring about the world around me. Before I used to just take it at face value that God's kingdom would "fix" all the problems like diseases and pollution. Now I realize the importance of everyone doing as much as they can to help.

As far as optimism goes, there are good things that happen and it's important to remember that no matter what. Just having the opportunity to learn and to grow as a person is enough to be optimistic for me.

Narkissos

Hello Bisous,

I was never an optimist. At best I was sometimes described as a "hilarious pessimist".

Only my 7-year old daughter (and children in general) can bring me close to optimism.

Undecided

Good question Bisous, I sort of go in circles. Sometimes I am happy, sometimes I am depressed. I guess we just have to create our own hope for something after this life, but mostly it's a big

????.

Ken P.

Lady Lee

Bisous

While in....we were taught fear and 2 choices....eternal life on earth under much the same administration which was full of drudgery, judgement, motivation by guilt....OR....death. Period. End Of Sentence.

If there is a loving God - a real one no the WT one, I would think that he is capable of loving His children better than we are capapble of loving ours. Most parents are able to love their children unconditionally (love the person even though you might not always approve of their behavior).

We see parents of people who a re thieves and crooks, murderes even and the parents still love the child. They may understand why things have happened the way they have. They may be angry at the things that were done but the love is still there. When our kids are small and testing our limits (the terrible twos and the teen years) we still love them. If we can do that, then I would think God who made us is capable of both loving us and understand the tremendous damage that has been done to us as a result of the spiritual abuse. I really can't imagine hating my teen when she screamed that she hated me.

God loves better than we will ever know.

It is a challenge to reconnect with optimism...a sense of wonder and joy...with this prospect. I know, I know, what about live for today, it is all we are promised, etc. But as each day, month, year passes....I am imbued more and more with a 'What's It All About, Alfie' spirit....what's the use, the purpose....look around at the world, the people, the grayness of existence....

The world isn't the black and white of the JW world and it isn't just gray. It is all the colors of the rainbow. We must seek out the colors of life. I found connecting to nature very helpful. Just look at the support given here on this board to total strangers. It happens. It is real caring. Freed of the WTisms we can care about people even if it is from a distance.

In spite of everything I have been through in life I choose to have hope to look for the positives, to see the colors. Otherwise I think I would have killed myself years ago.

I have cynicism (vs. optimism)....humor (vs. happiness)...sarcasm (vs. empathy)...suspicion (vs. trust)...and

Training our minds to be more open to the possibilities is an important step in the deprogramming. Asking ourselves about other possibilities, questionning the "why" of things, reading about different perspectives, asking questions (like this one) opens us up to more than the limited whys of thinking that were so indoctrinated into us. You are clearly working on your colors. Congrats.

What have you used to replace the sect's teachings? How to regain optimism re: life?

I'm still working on it. Maybe I will have it figured out before I die. Maybe I won't. But I refuse to die as depressed and miserable as I was while a JW. I love to learn. I set projects for myself to learn a new task every year. One year it was how to make a webpage. Another year it was how to write a book. Or build a computer. Ride a century (100 KM in a day on my bike). As I accomplish each new goal I set a mark for another. This year - learn how to be a successful active person with a disability. Oh well we don't always get to choose the goal just how to live with it well. Live long and prosper. Good words

Dansk

Hi Bisous,

I can identify with what you are going through - as can so many others here. It's no joke, is it, having everlasting life in a paradise earth in view only for it to evaporate when one comes to realise the lies behind Watchtower teachings!

However:

it has been impossible for me to find interest in other religions and spiritual teachings.

This is NOT unusual. Little Toe (a Christian) gave me some good advice. He told me to chill out for at least six months, to gather my being together again and ONLY then to seek what truth is. That was good advice - but I haven't become a Christian!

Truth is, I researched and studied so much after I came out of Watchtower and decided that I was happiest when I was a Buddhist (I'd been a Buddhist ten years before the JWs called) and so I decided to rekindle my interest. Recently, a newspaper article showed that Buddhists were the happiest people in the world - because they tended not to let things get them down; they have a real hope for the future, but not a hope that a Christian would identify with.

Now I'm not saying you should join any religious group. What I am saying is that first you need to chill out and not worry about where to go from here. Eventually, when you are READY, you will start to enquire about various things. If you want to remain an atheist, well, that's up to you - as long as you're happy! Personally, I'm happy with what I've found. I have no need to believe in God and if this life is all there is then so be it.

Taking up hobbies and getting fit has helped me lots. I do yoga, judo and go running - and I'm almost 50! I've found that life is what we make of it. And you know what - I'm genuinely happy. I've made some truly great friends who take me unconditionally and Lady Lee has been tremendous with her advice in helping me offload a long-standing problem.

So remember, chill out for as long as it takes. You WILL find your path in life - or it will find you!

Best wishes,

Ian

Xena

I have more optimism now than I ever had as a JW. Probably because I never felt good enough as a dub, lol wasn't like I was going to make it to the new system anyways...

Now I can be who I want to be, enjoy what I want to enjoy, learn what I want to learn and live the way I want to live. Doesn't matter if I am good enough to make it to the next life cause I am enjoying this one to the fullest. Life is full of possibility and if I die tomorrow and this is all there was...it was a nice ride and well I won't know any different now will I?

Dansk

Now I can be who I want to be, enjoy what I want to enjoy, learn what I want to learn and live the way I want to live.

Xena,

Right on the button

Dansk

one_ugly_time

I would only like to add...

Lesson #1 in my book :: No subject is taboo for learning. --

Do not minimize learning. It is not wrong, indecent, disgusting, or trivial to study, learn, or become aware of anything your heart or mind desires. This doesn't mean you have to believe it, or follow it. But without your own knowledge of a subject, you have no internal system for criticizing, judging, condemning, accepting, believing, belonging, or anything else.

The unexamined life is not worth living. -- Socrates

ugly

Big Tex

What have you used to replace the sect's teachings? How to regain optimism re: life?

I doubt I'll ever belong to another religion or walk into a church in my life. Been there done that. But that does not mean I no longer a spiritual person. In many ways I'm more connected to my God than I ever was as a Witness. See, when you're out on your own and it's just you and the universe, there is quiet. I was able to get in touch with my inner child and discover the man I was meant to be. I discovered I believed in a Power greater than myself and I chose to believe this person not only was benevolent but (amazingly) cared about me.

In doing this, I was able to let go of so much bitterness and anger, not all certainly but I'm working on it. What is left is calm -- peace.

bisous, your first task is to heal. Like so many of us, you were hurt and left confused. I submit that you have your own answers, but right now those answers are covered over with anger and fear; two sides of the same coin. Those dark feelings are covering your own innate optimism. Heal yourself, and then go in search of your God. I think you will find what you're looking for, and when you do you be optimistic in ways you never were before.

Be well,

Chris

How Have You Regained Your Optimism (if you have)?

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