Some people left the organization because of the United Nations scam, 1975, the "generation" change, child abuse issues, not feeling the "love" of the brotherhood, etc. In all honesty, is there something----that if it hadn't happened----would have kept you still in? For example, if the child abuse issues were resolved properly, perhaps, some of those that left because of the mishandling, might still be at the meetings. Or, if the elders generally treated you well, some might still be active and not have left because of the "lack of love"......Your opinions?
What Might've Kept You Still In The Organization?
by minimus 44 Replies latest jw friends
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Enishi
My realizing the organization was false was inevitable, I had detested the intolerant attitude of the WTS for a long time and even disagreed with a couple of their views. However, had I not learned about the child abuse and the UN scandal, I'm sure I would have remained a loyal dub for several more years, as I would have still thought that it was God's organization.
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minimus
Interesting.....Even though you "detested" and "disagreed", you would've stayed in the organization for a much longer time. Something BIG had to jar you....Veryyyyyy interesting.
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Mysterious
If they'd thrown their support behind same sex marriage.
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Enishi
Well, most of the things I disagreed with were secondary issues like their attitude towards outsiders, entertainment, yoga, things like that. I agreed with all of their main doctrines, such as paradise earth, no immortal soul, no eternal torment, though I was quite angered by thought of people dying at Armageddon irregardless of their belief system. Since I was raised a witness, my views of the outside world were distorted. Unlike most witnesses though, I did do quite a bit of research on other faiths. For a long time was having a lot of inner conflict due to what I'd learned. I particularily agonized over the fact that Buddhists, pagans and other groups seemed to be far happier and more compassionate than the dubs. I think what really kept me attached to the organization though was the concept of a paradise earth, and the belief that they were God's chosen instrument and there was no questioning it. When you've been taught something from childhood, shifting your paradigm is more frightening than death.
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FlyingHighNow
If the JWs would have been more loving and truly concerned about each other. Maybe.
If the old geezers at Bethel had really looked at the grueling schedule they had us all keeping and lightened the load considerably. Maybe.
If they had stopped going beyond the scriptures. Maybe. Example: Dfing people for smoking.
If they had stopped making up all those wacky interpretations of prophecies. Maybe.
These are big and powerful maybes. They really took everything I had to give until I was emotionally and physically unable to keep going. They dropped my family and turned a cold heart to our pleas for help. We have never been the same since. So I doubt really there is anything that could have kept us in. They would have had to been more loving and less demanding in the first place. Oh and less outlandish in their claims to interpret prophecy.
Heather
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minimus
When things hit us PERSONALLY, it can prompt us to look critically at ourselves and the religion. If they don't, it is unusual to get out.
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Mysterious
When things hit us PERSONALLY, it can prompt us to look critically at ourselves and the religion. If they don't, it is unusual to get out.
I think that hits the nail right on the head. There has to be an initial reason to start examining the house of cards more closely. It may come crashing down after that but something has to make you think first.
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Scully
a lobotomy.
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outoftheorg
Well Min. your question "singular" contained many questions on what caused the loss of faith. If you add all those, to all the ones mentioned by others. Those are the reasons I finally left.
There was not a singular event that triggered it. Although the single event of my explosion of rage at the elders and the wbts and my telling them of my feelings, was their excuse to df me.
At 55 yrs. of age and being born into the borg, I had reached a point of exhaustion, confusion, sadness, grief and a life of turmoil created by the never pleased elders and wbts. Also a frustrating mental struggle of what to do with my beliefs. Finally a deep clinical depression.
Now, throw in a wife who is suicidal and now discloses the molestations in her childhood, now in counseling. Add to this, finding that one of my daughters was molested by an elder. Her uncle.
Add to this the refusal of the wbts to take any action. Even though several sisters complained and they admitted they believed two of them.
This all took place in about an 18 month time period. Then the psychiatrist tells me, that my wife could choose 3 courses of action. She could continue to "stuff" her memories, which would probably lead to a full break down or suicide. Or she could direct her anger at the people responsible, her mother, brother, uncle, her mothers boyfriends. OR she could choose the course that most do. To try desperatly to reconstruct her family "mother etc." into a family that really never existed. One that loved her.
To do this the anger has to be directed some where else. The shrink told me that would most likely be towards the one closest to her. ME.
The shrink was painfully correct. Now we have more influence from the elders. Advice. They were pleased to have a reason to deal with me.
At this point I only had one emotion left to defend myself. Anger. Anger is a powerful tool and should be used with caution. It was at this point that I told the elders LOUDLY what I thought of them and the governing body and the wbts in general.
Guess what they charged me with. Fits of rage. For once they were right! I was enraged! I believe I had every right to be enraged. The last thing I needed from them at that time was their "loving interferance in my marriage". Obviously divorce was my wifes tool and she had encouragement from the elders.
I had reached a point in my life, where the whole religion was a huge burden, a cause of confusion, distrust, anger, guilt, sorrow. Every negative emotion you can name. It "THE RELIGION" seemed to fit in there some where and to exacerbate the problems.
In looking back on this, knowing my abilities and the anger I had, I am surprised that I did not hurt someone.
Well what started out to be a few lines of information has gotten much longer than I intended.
Sorry.
Any way, It was a long drawn out experience. From around 1975 to 1991.
Outoftheorg