JW's - fascinating

DanTheMan

I just signed out Apocalypse Delayed from the library. I am looking forward to reading it after I post this thread.

What is it about JW's that I can't just walk away from it and forget it ever happened? Why is it that I feel such a kinship with those who have escaped, and why do I feel so compelled to educate myself on a group that I've left? Why am I so curious to learn every facet, every historical tidbit, every little doctrinal shift of this organization, from its conception to the present day? Am I obsessed? Am I still recovering? Is there ever a point where you've completely recovered and don't give a flying &%$@ about it anymore?

Such a unique experience. In a way, I'm grateful for it. I think ex-dubs are some of the wisest and most realistic people in the world.

Lady Lee

Dan the JW life encompasses every facet of our lives - for years and for some - a lifetime.

You can't walk away and be healthy if you don't examine it. We were denied so much of what is "normal" to most people. As we experience la life of freedom we often find that the past beliefs and behaviors smack us in the face. We are faced suddenly with a plethora of choices and decisions that before had been made for us - tidy little formulas for us to get through the day. Rules upon rules (but not rule - just "principles")

When any victim of abuse first escapes the abuser there is often a need to get on with life and forget the past. Then they stumble along making many mistakes because the life choices they make are often based on a faulty way of seeing the world.

The only way to not make those mistakes or at least minimize them is to get as much information (that was often denied us as a JW) as possible.

I truly believe information is power. Those who seek to be informed will be able to make better choices in life. Learn as much as you ca. Read everything that will help your mind be free.

You are defintiely on the right road. I think for many of us learning after leaving is like giving food to a starving man - it's just our minds were being starved on these JW "banquets" of pablum.

patio34

Hi Dan,

My first two years "out," I was "obsessed" with the WTBS too. For one thing, I was intensely curious what the 'other side of the story" was that had been hidden from JWs. Another thing was seeing them thoroughly debunked (which you would never do as a JW) by so many capable people in books and on the net. The 3rd reason, I guess, was debriefing and getting it out of my system.

But this past year, I think I reached my limits of curiousity. Then the Iraq war and subsequent politics moved into the #1 spot of my curiousity.

But I definitely feel I put the matter of the JWs and the Bible to rest in my mind and, except for this board, can barely tolerate reading anything about them.

For me, it was stages I went through. I left almost 3 years ago.

Pat

Sentinel

Dan, it takes a very long time to be able to drive by a KH and not twinge, or see them on the street and not twinge, or have them come to your door and feel that twinge. We feel some initial remorse, anger, anguish, frustration, and then pity. They hurt us in different ways; our hearts were damaged, our minds in disarray, but we have to take responsibility for our own actions and we have to take steps to heal ourself.

Right now, I am a great deal of empathy for someone "stuck" in a cult. Many cannot simply walk away even if their heart tells them something is not quite right. Others, rebel and get the boot and while they are "out", they begin to see the light. Others take a tally of what they would lose if they left that belief system behind, and it's too high for them. Some feel they have no choice. It has affected us all in different ways.

I have a fanatically faithful mom as a JW, and her belief system really affects me and my loved ones. I've never tried to change her, only to allow her to see me the way I am, and to keep reminding her that love and compassion are the most important things. I don't want to pull the rug from under her, yet I've had to exist in a very dysfunctional relationship for a very long time. I stopped playing the victim when she began shunning me again over a year ago. That was a big step for me. She won't give me ANY information about the organization, literature, or old friends--as she says I am not privy to it anymore. Sometimes I am a bit curious about their activities (only because of my mom) and being on here allows me to find out stuff. I am thankful for those who continue to post information about them here.

shotgun

Dan I've read more in one year than I have in all the years combined previous to it.

ISOCF,CoC,Gentile times Reconsidered, Who Wrote the Bible, Who wrote the Gospels, Gospel Fictions, Releasing the Bonds of Mind control, The Wellness Journey, Emotional Blackmail ( Audio Cassette), Apocalypse Delayed, The Finished Mystery, Millions Now Living will never Die and scads of material written by C.T Russell and J.F Rutherford. Not to mention more of the bible than I've ever read before.

I've slowed down a little but it becomes an obsession that's hard to break.

Emma

Remember that they always told us is wasn't a religion, it was a way of life. We opened ourselves to brainwashing, so it takes a lot of cleansing to get it out of every pore.

I didn't find this forum, nor did I have contact with ex-jw for nearly eight years after exiting. I feel validated by knowing all of you here on the board and have gained a lot of knowledge. It's almost like being in a foreign land and finding a group from your own country who can speak your language. It makes me smile, sometimes, to hear an old phrase that only those who have been associated with the wts would understand.

Dan, you're walking away as you're working everything through.

Emma

DanTheMan

Thank you all for your responses. What little I've read of the book so far has been fascinating. CofC helped me tremendously when I first was leaving, but recent longings for the simplicity of cult life have me feeling like I need to reload on some 'solid food' regarding JWism.

Lady Lee,

We are faced suddenly with a plethora of choices and decisions that before had been made for us - tidy little formulas for us to get through the day. Rules upon rules (but not rule - just "principles")

Yes, JWism made things pretty simple, they reduced our fantastically complex and sometimes heartbreaking, sometimes joyful world into a neat little formula based on a few scriptures that they build mountains of doctrine and speculation on.

Pat,

But this past year, I think I reached my limits of curiousity. Then the Iraq war and subsequent politics moved into the #1 spot of my curiousity.

Politics, wars, etc. are exactly what I'm talking about when I refer to our fantastically complex world. There's so much to know, it seems like you would have to read and watch the news 24/7 to keep up with it all. I'm such a babe in the woods when it comes to those areas that I don't know where to start.

Sentinel,

I don't want to pull the rug from under her

I don't want to pull the rug out from under any JW's either. I don't think most could deal with it. I just want to get it 100% absolutely clear in my own mind that it ain't "The Truth", and I don't feel like I'm there yet.

Shotgun, I've read far more in the 2 years since I left the cult than in the 10 years I spent in it. But damn, the more you learn the more you realize how much there is you don't know. I want to know everything dammit!

Emma, I felt very validated by this board also, but I wonder when enough will be enough. I wish I had more of a real life, not just the internet. Ah, such is our modern age I guess.

Brummie

Dan this is an interesting thread!

I am at the stage where I dont read books or mags on JWs anymore, I think I saturated myself and have got over it now. At one point I would spend hours reading or listening to anything exJW related. However I do like to come in and keep in touch with loads of exjws, I think this will never wear off, JWism was ground into us from an early age and I doubt we will ever lose the desire to keep in touch with people who understand where we have come from, everyone here is like a link to our history.

Merry Christmas

Brummie

DanTheMan

everyone here is like a link to our history.

So true. And what a bizarre history it is!

lauralisa

Hi DanTheMan!

I agree w/Brummie... AND everyone else who posted. Nothing to add! Patio, you scare me sometimes; I always nod my head and smile when I chance upon one of your posts.

I also wanted to tell you that if you go to http://www.mycathatesyou.com and click on "our cats", then click on Cats names starting with D you will find a real cutie pie cat named Dan the Man...!

Warm hello and merry everything, lauralisa

JW's - fascinating

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