One More Elder who is starting to Question the WT

by sis in distress 53 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  JT

  Just to put your mind at ease- Sis in Distress is my wife , I call her Lady "C", even though she doesn't use it as her handle here on JWD

  she wants her own identity, as she puts it as an elders wife i was always in YOUR SHADOW

  so now she is her own woman like she has always been

  If you look back at her posting history she - I think she told everyone that SHE SLEEPS WITH JT- smile

  She doesn't like to post much as you can see from her less than 25 post--- because as she puts it "Folks DOG folks too much here"

  so i told her here is a great exp that you can share -why not share the exp of the couple that we know since they're willing to let us post up his letter,

  since in my view he is on his way out anyway.

  The incidents of examining the UN site and all the related info on it took place awhile back and only a few months ago did he reach the point of deciding to write the Society about his issues of concern, it is merely a culmination of months and months of him and his wife examing and reading all they can.

  many folks often times dog men who serve as elders, but for the vast majority of elders they are being DUPED like the avg pub- I know I believed this was the truth, some elders are men who care about the friends and try to lighten the load on the friends, but the WT System prevents that.

  At this point he like many are at the point of LET THE CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAY-

  personally i would have never written a letter, you all know how i feel about writing letters, YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR MIND- I won't waste the paper or stamp personally----

  but there are some JW who just feel :

  "If I can just talk to the bro at bethel -Hey THEY KNOW ME,- I'm sure they would explain it to me"

  Ask Ossal Johnson from Sweden I think about writing letters-

  they want to believe that the WT cares about thier issues of concern- YEA RIGHT

  as has been pointed out by many posters-- the wt don't care about folks- only that you don't challenge or question them

  he is prepared for what every happens- will keep you updated

  I don't think my wife will be posting too much- smile

  I told her this is the Wild Wild West- smile
• 

  undercover

  Thanks for the clarification, JT.

  My apologies to your wife for doubting her.

  Please do keep us posted on your elder friend's exit from the clutches of the WTS.
• 

  JT

  NO PROBLEM

  one of the things that happen to JW women they had NO IDENTITY

  ask any sister who was married to a CO or Elder- they are literally in the shadow of their MAN

  so if married jw women get cut short, then you know SINGLE WOMEN get the Whole Shaft-

  one of the most important things that took place with my wife was how much she was able to blossom, she now can disagree with a man and not be viewed as a Jezubel-

  she is merely using her mind and offering her opinions which are just as valid as any man

  i watch the female posters here on this site --GO TOE TO TOE with the male posters

  UNHEARD OF IN WT, TO DISAGREE with a baptized male

  just an example - in my old hall there is a sister who is a DR. she was so embarassed by what happened in the bookstudy one night-

  i always tried to make the meeting interesting by bringing in all kinds of NON WT refer material-

  so alot of folks enjoyed the bookstudy , i mean after going thru the Rev and United In worship 15TIMES you got to try and make it live or the friends will go to sleep-

  anyway i got tied up at work and could not reach my assistance to do the book study, mean while he was trying to reach me- ended up we both didn't show up

  now you know the rules THE NEXT BAPTIZED MALE IN LINE CONDUCTS on this night she brought a fellow female doctor to the bookstudy and guess who was conducting, a baptized male who could not READ THAT WELL - so as she puts it here she was with a fellow doctor who had to listen to an UNEDUCATED INSTRUCTOR- many sisters were far more intelligent and qualified to be instructors than many of the men who held positions, but since they don't have a "Willy Willy" between thier legs they could not teach

  my wife HATED THAT ---YOU JANE-- ME TARZAN MINDSET
• 

  JT

  NO PROBLEM

  one of the things that happen to JW women they had NO IDENTITY

  ask any sister who was married to a CO or Elder- they are literally in the shadow of their MAN

  so if married jw women get cut short, then you know SINGLE WOMEN get the Whole Shaft-

  one of the most important things that took place with my wife was how much she was able to blossom, she now can disagree with a man and not be viewed as a Jezubel-

  she is merely using her mind and offering her opinions which are just as valid as any man

  i watch the female posters here on this site --GO TOE TO TOE with the male posters

  UNHEARD OF IN WT, TO DISAGREE with a baptized male

  just an example - in my old hall there is a sister who is a DR. she was so embarassed by what happened in the bookstudy one night-

  i always tried to make the meeting interesting by bringing in all kinds of NON WT refer material-

  so alot of folks enjoyed the bookstudy , i mean after going thru the Rev and United In worship 15TIMES you got to try and make it live or the friends will go to sleep-

  anyway i got tied up at work and could not reach my assistance to do the book study, mean while he was trying to reach me- ended up we both didn't show up

  now you know the rules THE NEXT BAPTIZED MALE IN LINE CONDUCTS on this night she brought a fellow female doctor to the bookstudy and guess who was conducting, a baptized male who could not READ THAT WELL - so as she puts it here she was with a fellow doctor who had to listen to an UNEDUCATED INSTRUCTOR- many sisters were far more intelligent and qualified to be instructors than many of the men who held positions, but since they don't have a "Willy Willy" between thier legs they could not teach

  my wife HATED THAT ---YOU JANE-- ME TARZAN MINDSET
• 

  Joyzabel

  (((((((Welcome sis in distress)))))))

  JT you are so right about women having NO identity in that organization. I always felt sub-human, of no consequense, keep your opinions to your self.

  I know of several couples here where the women don't want to be know as "so & so's wife". They have their own identity and their own voice. It is very theraputic to be seen as an individual.

  I know this place can get rough (wild, wild west atmosphere, hehe) but encourage your wife to visit and comment. I would love to hear more from her.

  Hugs,

  j2bf
• 

  JT

  "so & so's wife".

  this is what my wife hated, she will have to tell the story behind this one- smile
• 

  blondie

  Hi Lady C/Sis in Distress, and JT

  i watch the female posters here on this site --GO TOE TO TOE with the male posters

  UNHEARD OF IN WT, TO DISAGREE with a baptized male

  Unfortuately, the WTS thinking can pop here on JWD, using gender as a means of proving one's point valid. I have had people invoke the "elder" privilege or the "men think--women feel" argument. That is partly because that thinking/opinion still prevails outside the WTS in the world at large.

  Come back, Sis in Distress from time to time. PM me too. I have saved the email JT sent me of a pic of you too.

  Blondie
• 

  Sunnygal41

  JT, I know exactly how your wife feels/felt! I went thru the same situation, married to a very nice, bright man who got appointed as an elder, and everyone worshipped Bro. Perry! Meanwhile, here I was, standing in the shadows, dealing with all the crap that goes with being an elder's wife.........late nights home alone, him coming home stressed out and not being able to talk to me about it, sitting alone at meetings and assemblies because he wanted to help out..............resenting all of it..............but trying to have a "Christian" attitude.........what got me thru it was the thought that he was helping others. Yeah, I was called a Jezebel to my face by a real asshole elder one time..........the same F'er who came up to me and pretended to brush an invisible demon off my shoulder, the same one who called me a Brother when I got my hair cut short, the same one who accused me of alcoholism, and the same one who told my mother not to talk to me or I'd never learn my lesson and come back.................ooohhh, hehehe, he had NO idea who he was dealing with! I took great delight in pissing him off whenever I could! And, because the other "elders/aka Good Ole Boys Club" had my ex's nuts in a vise he would not defend me. He was a real weenie and I'm glad I'm not married to him anymore. I'm glad I'm out. I'm glad I can stand toe to toe with my boyfriend and glare into his eyes and call him an asshole............and sometimes he laughs and says I'm right! LOL! I am ALIVE today. I have opinions. I can state them and feel like I am a somebody like everybody else................and I have a wonderful man in my life, who altho he is not perfect, lets me have my opinions, and tells me how smart and sexy I am and is proud of my intelligence. I'm sorry, this has become a rant, but, believe it or not, in the past couple of days I've felt I've needed to say these things and there have been some real opportunities to talk about it........I even had one guy on the forum email me about a post I made who wanted to let me know that he and his wife were in the same boat, and he was showing his compassion and solidarity for my feelings. Thank you, all of you, for helping me to heal. I also wanted to say that I felt Sis was jumped on too quickly, but, I didn't post it. I had thought that the brother might be referring to having done the research before things were removed, but, I'm still a little shy about speaking up........I figure everyone here has alot more knowledge and time with the board than I do.............and have had bad experiences with trolls, etc.............hell, I've hardly ever posted on DB's before. This is the only one I'm really involved so much with now. I am enjoying everyone's comments and especially the humor, some subtle and some hilariously out and out in your face............I'm glad I found this place!

  Terri
• 

  Sassy

  Welcome to the board sis in distress! I totally relate to the comment by JT:

  She doesn't like to post much as you can see from her less than 25 post--- because as she puts it "Folks DOG folks too much here"

  this thread unfortunately took part of a turn in that direction and although I did not share their sentiments, I would like to apologise on behalf of the posters any way. I know you have a lot to contribute and think it would be a disapointment if
  you did not share your wisdom and presence with us, even if it is not often. We hope, I hope, that you will continue to
  stop in and say hey now and then.

  As far as the original direction of this thread, (which I am hoping we can get back to), I was thinking about it a lot last night.
  When I chose to stop being a JW, I did so without the thought that it was the 'right' thing to do, it was just the thing "I had
  to do". I thought with every fiber of me, that this was still the TRUE RELIGION and that I was dooming myself to death with
  that choice. Over time, fortunately my eyes have opened. I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me to hear stories
  about those who are STRONG in this religion and yet have their eyes open and see things and begin to doubt. It saddens
  me, that so many of us wasted our years doing what we thought was right, but my heart is filled with good things when I
  realize that there are solid reasons to know this is not at all what we were told it was. You see, it is one thing for me to stop
  being a JW and do so for purely selfish reasons. I grew up in a divided household. We got to all the meetings but bible
  studies and service were difficult. My father who was not a JW didn't want his family in service, and if he came home, the
  bible study was to stop. It was hard to be 'strong' in the 'truth' in that environment and then I married a man who should
  have been strong, but in the end was far from it and living a double life. I kept us both attending the meetings and it wasn't
  easy. I have felt like my whole life being a JW was a struggle that I never was good enough at and so always kept trying,
  always feeling unworthy. So I could blame myself for thinking because I wasn't strong enough spriritually, that perhaps was
  why I could justify reasons not to be a JW. But when I see stories like you and JT, stories like this elder who obviously truly
  cares about Jehovah and he cares enough to try to find a reason for the questions in all the brothers and sisters minds,
  that speaks volumes to me. That gives me strength to believe in the fact I made the right choice to stop, even though I
  lost one of my best friends and my mother in the process. It's one thing to stop for the wrong reason, but to find out
  there are reasons for the good, in the long picture. That really helps.

  Thank you for sharing this with us Sis in Distress. Please keep us informed on what happens. I am thinking of this elder
  and the stress he must be enduring with a heavy heart right now knowing that he wants answers to help those he cares
  for and knowing even asking the questions will change his life and options.
• 

  wednesday

  SID,

  i remember u . Sorry the thread took an odd turn,we are a leary bunch. Sometimes i think this board is a bit like the song"only the strong survive".

  welcome and just come back with the guns a blazing.