by Big Tex 22 Replies latest jw friends
I've got a quick temper. Not proud of it, but there it is. The good thing is, it goes away just as quick.
With apologies to Minimus (), when you get ticked, what do you do to get out of it? How do you find your center again?
My answer is a good friend made me laugh and then I listened to "Happy Jack" by the The Who. Now I'm mellow again.
oooooommmmmmmmmmmm
I don't get mad
I get even
Actually I rarely get angry and when I do I usually walk away and think about it before I say or do anything I might regret later.
Most often when I examine why I might be feeling angry I find there is some unfinished business I need to take care of.
So I do and most often then the problem is resolved.
I am a quick burn too....slow to ignite but when I burn whooooooosh. Not sure what I do nor does Thunder LOL Many times I call XW and rant to heror Thunder
WIth Thunder he listens to the Insanity Test http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/slp29/insane.html
there is some unfinished business I need to take care of.
Forgive me Lee, but this intrigued me. Do you mean unfinished business about the situation or about yourself? I don't mean to pry, but I'm curious.
As an addendum, wine also helps.
oooommmmmmmmmmmmmm.
P.S. -- Sheila, I knew there was a reason I liked you and Thunder. That's great!
unfinished business within me BT.
The times I get most angry is when upon closer inspection I have run into a person that triggers old feelings. Perhaps they remind me of someone of the past or their behavior does. Once I deal with the old issue it seems I can then deal effectively with the present one. Often once I have done the inner work the present problem is a non-issue.
Big Tex: I used to be a bit quick tempered, some time ago, but no longer.
Somehow, somewhere along the line: I stopped.
It was something I 'gave up', for lack of a better term. How did I accomplish that?
Well, for starters, I did some self inventory, and sorted out what I needed versus not needed. This was done with harmful friendships, relationships etc., and I gradually backed off (weened myself) toxic situations: people/places/things.
When I severed ties with certain individuals, and I made more time for 'better' people versus these previously known pariahs, I noticed I became less angry, to the point that I rarely ever get upset.
I know first hand, that simply being in testy situations, it can really try your patience and good nature (thus I am no longer a moderator).
I know the triggers, so seeing them ahead of me, I steer around them, or avoid them completely.
I wish you well Big Tex. The bigger picture is, you're most kind hearted and most welcoming (as I've experienced with you and Cruzanheart here in my early days), so I don't think your anger/temper is your modus operandi by any long shot.
Good to notice it. I have to watch myself constantly, therefor I have to put my money where my mouth is.
Best wishes Big Tex: we think the world of you around here.
I get really drunk and shoot up the town square. By morning, the cold floor of the hoosgow (sp?) has me centered again.
I try to air the difference out as quickly as possible, say my piece, listen to their piece, do what it takes to resolve it and then (this is the important part, at least for me) forget the whole thing.
Harboring a grudge is like picking at a nasty scab. Leave it alone.
Eric
I tend to have a quick temper, get emotionally charged, and react, usually not the way I would if I think about it for awhile.
We have a grandson who is just like that, and recently we had a situation we (he, his mother and I) had to deal with, and I suggested he think about something he wanted to say, count to 10, take a deep breath, and decide if he still wants to say it. He is only 7, and had reacted badly to being told "no" by his mother. When he thought about how he had reacted, he was moved to tears. About two weeks later, it happened again, but it's a learning process. I think time is a great teacher.
I try to follow that advice. Occasionally I have a relapse, and do or say something I deeply regret, but I try to think for awhile before I respond, when I am angry or frustrated, or have some kind of angst.
By nature I am a cool and calm person. I am seldom drawn to anger. But as my son says, " if you piss my mother off big time, You'll live to regret it. As I said I am easy going, and a happy person, hate fighting and arguing nothing is ever accomplished that way, But sometimes and I am happy to say its a hand ful that have made me go ballistic, or put me on the warpath. They will know my wrath and will never think to do that to me again.
Now remember I said it has only happen a few times, so I can say most of you are truly safe in my presence
Love ya, Orangefatcat.
