Would you do this to your kids?

by Euphemism 42 Replies latest social family

• 

  czarofmischief

  Not a parent. But if I had ANY inclination that my kid was in trouble, I'd have to side with Yeru and go through his room. Privacy is a privilege, not a right. It is earned through trustworthy behavior.

  A parent has the positive duty to provide whatever is needed for their kids, and if a kid is doing drugs or contemplating suicide, they NEED someone to find out and confront them about it. If their parent won't, who will?

  It's embarassing for the kid, but not traumatizing. In the end, most kids will realize that their parents are doing their best and forgive them for any shortcomings. It is better to err on the side of love than on the side of fear.

  Parents have a responsibility to be reasonable, as well, not going insane over stuff that is normal and healthy - like masturbation, (some kinds of) porn, and relationships. The experience we had as dubs where everything was verboten might make us want to err in the other direction - giving too many rights away.

  That's my inexperienced position.

  CZAR
• 

  Sassy

  I never thought about it for my kids, but this device did come in handy when an employee was suicidal and we needed to find out where he was. Through the cell phone company (and his company cell phone) we were able to pin point if he was in the area. It helped solve some answers we needed to know.

  I have to agree regarding if it was necessary, a life threatening situation, I would have no problems reading my children's private information or using this device to find them. Fortunately that need has not come up.
• 

  Euphemism

  Yeru... we are not (necessarily) disagreeing.

  I said, above, that a situation that threatens serious harm would justify breaking a child's privacy.

  But think about it... the same is true of an adult (as Sassy's example shows).

  So just because there are exceptions--very important exceptions, as you've pointed out--doesn't mean that privacy isn't a right.
• 

  Sara Annie

  Lets suppose a daughter suspects her dad is fooling around with another woman but mom don't know. The daughter reads the diary and the dad walks in on her reading it.

  Heres the point...would a daughter have the right to do this, as her dads feels he has a right to read his daughters diary?

  The logic here is faulty. We cannot reverse the roles and see if the same action is objectionable because the relationships are not equivalent. The father is directly responsible for the welfare of his daughter. The daughter is not directly responsible for the behavior and decisions of her father, regardless of their impact on her life.

  As a mother, I'm with Yeru on this one. The bottom line is that these are MY children, and I will use any means or information at my disposal to keep them safe. If that means that I search the room of a child I suspect is using drugs, I'll do it in a heartbeat. If I see evidence that my child is not revealing something that could endanger their welfare, I will read that diary with no hesitation. That's part of my job as their mother.

  To protect your children by close supervision or occasional breaches of 'privacy' and to lovingly allow your children to grow and make decisions are not mutually exclusive activites. I get frustrated with the mentality that our children should be our 'friends'. I have seen little that is more destructive to a parent/child relationship than regarding your child as your social equal when they are absolutely not. I listen to parents say "I can't control what he/she does". Bullshit. You are the PARENT, you not only can control their behavior, you must.

  Your reward for maintaining a loving parental relationship using understanding and discipline while still allowing them to make their own choices is that when your child grows up to be your social equal, you can enjoy a friendship with them. I absolutely count my parents as two of my dearest friends, and am so thankful that they were proactive when there was trouble in adolescence. I may not have liked them much at the time, but I dearly love them and respect that they loved me enough to let me make mistakes, but also to find out what I was up to before I made decisions that could have had dire consequences.
• 

  keeshah

  I needed something like that on my car when I was 16. I'm surprised I didn't kill myself with the way I drove!

  I'm sure my kids will try the same stunts I did. I hope not. Maybe since they aren't being raised as JW that won't happen as much.
• 

  BeautifulGarbage

  Would I do that? Probably not. If I felt the need for one of those, well, I probably just prefer not to have my kid out of my sight. Though, I can understand a few circumstances where a parent would want their child to have one on their phone.

  As far as "right" to privacy. Such privacy does not exist as long as I pay the bills and am legally responsible for his, or her, behavior. If I suspect there is trouble, I'm snooping and doing whatever is necessary to gather information to help my child.
• 

  SixofNine

  Would you do this (cell phone GPS tracking) to your kids?

  Only if she found a way to circumvent the shock collar.
• 

  morty

  Would I do this??? I sure would if, the case was, that I felt my child was in trouble..( sorry if I am repeating anything, as I have not read all the posts)

  I feel that now a days, there is too much for the kids to get into ...I guess it all boils down to trust..How much do you trust your son/daugther....I do feel secure enough with my own children, that they would make practical decissions on their own, but for me, my son is not quiet driving age yet...That landmark is coming up very soon though...We have a pretty good comunication stand point between us, but if I was to feel that something was not right with him, i would certainly use this kind of device if I felt he was in danger....It is our job as parents to protect our kids and make sure they are safe....As far as using it on him to snoop or see what he was up to, I would never interupt his privacy just for shits and giggles...That is is business and not mine...Unless I really felt that he was in danger ie...suicide, drinking and driving, partying to the extend that there was hard drugs involed, or breaking the law...

  Being a parent, can have its tribulations...its all what we make of it as the parent....if we teach trust, they earn it...if we teach respect, they earn it as well.....it is a common bond between child and parent, if we go about it the right way...Just my 2 cents in this matter....

  Morty
• 

  bebu

  I won't need to. We don't even have a DVD player yet, let alone cell phones for everyone in the family. I'll just have to find my son the old-fashioned way: hollering for him while I ride thru town on my rusty old bike. The fear of that happening keeps him in line.

  bebu
• 

  Wolfgirl

  I don't see it as an "invasion of privacy" issue. I see it more as a protection. If something were to happen to my child, I would be able to tell police their last known location, which might narrow the search area, or make it easier to find them quickly.