The worse thing I ever saw done on a message board, this is bad!

by spiritwalker 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • spiritwalker
    spiritwalker

    Once, I attended another message board for awhile, a few years ago. I did not post a lot, as that boards topic did not interest me much and I could just read and enjoy the conversation without interaction. While there, I witnessed what can only be described as, "the worse thing I have ever seen on a message board."

    This is the set up. A member of that board, who only posted for a short while, suddenly decided to say they had cancer. Which, as you might imagine, caused a lot of people to support them. They went through all the stages and got all sorts of support. Soon they announced they had died, through a friend who stepped in for them and posted the message, people were all sad and in support. I could not believe how much people were reacting to this event, considering the limitation of the message boards. Well as you might imagine it was an emotional time. What was even worse, it was a 100% fake. How do I know this?

    Because later, when I got to know another poster, they admitted to it and felt terrible. They never thought it would get so emotional and so out of hand and they just wanted people to forget about it and leave the topic alone. Before they knew it, they had messages e-mailed to them, flowers sent, and even calls to the house. As people were so touched, that they wanted to do something. In time, the memory faded and that poster learned their lesson. Yet how sick is that?

    I guess it taught me something very valuable about message boards. That people can and will lie and fake others out. In life, face-to-face, it can be done and it does happen. Although it is not as easy as it is on a message board. It spells out a very sick personality, and yet it ruins my emotional attachment to anyone who might really have a situation like this. Why? Well, because you always wonder, when you read messages, "is this really real?"

    I would like to stress, so that this post does not cause any problems, that this did not take place on any message boards associated with Jehovah's Witnesses, active or not active. I just thought I would share my experience and perhaps hear other's examples of the worse things you have ever seen done on a message board. Ever seen someone ruin their marriage? Ever see someone get another person fired for posting while at work, during a flame war? Ever seen someone call the police on another person to report a faults report? Etc.

  • Mysterious
    Mysterious

    What people do on the internet is no different than in life. Some people lie, some people are honest. Your example reminds me a lot of Jon on the latest survivor, anyone who watched it will remember the faked 'my grandmother just died' incident which he pre-meditated and pulled on the other castaways. That being said I think that the internet is a great place to get support and it would be terrible if a few bad experiences tarnished that for everyone.

  • spiritwalker
    spiritwalker

    While I agree to some degree. I am constantly reminded at the fact that the insane among society are often the loudest and most extreme. Insane, sick minded, label it the best way you can. Doing such a thing is just not right and it only take a few to ruin it for the rest. .

  • blondie
    blondie

    I saw this happen in our area. It got into the paper and a charity was set up through a bank. Then the facts came out. So it is part of life. But it didn't mean the whole community would do the same thing.

    Blondie

  • minimus
    minimus

    I've seen terrible berating and "poster beating" and "poster abuse". Those that regularly bit people's heads off have either went elsewhere or post very little now. Sometimes, people forget that there are real people on the other side of the keyboards.

  • spiritwalker
    spiritwalker

    Because it is becoming something that appears in newspapers and such. I think it really causes problems. As people can either be ignorant and just believe everything, or completely untrusting and see it all as lies. Either way, it is hard to find a middle area in a situation like this. As for ever extreme on both sides, there is always a flame war in the wings for them to step to, when the view they disagree with is expressed.

  • Smyler
    Smyler

    This didn't happen on a message board, it happened on IRC (Internet Relay Chat) nor did I witness it.. but it would have to be one of the most horrible things on the net..

    http://www.brandonvedas.com/index.html

    You can read the chat logs there too...

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    This is called Munchausen by Internet

    http://www.healthyplace.com/site/article_faking_2.asp

    Editors Note: Munchausen syndrome is a condition where a person fakes an illness or disease mainly to get attention from with the medical profession or from their family and friends. Sometimes it is done to obtain sympathy, to act out anger or even to control the behavior of others. It is not common but it happens occasionally. Now it is happening on the internet.

    When you discuss a condition with a person in a chat room or reply to questions and comments on a message board, you may be communicating with a person who is just faking the problem. (This is important to keep in mind.) But how would you know? That person may also be playing several roles in the chat room or message board. They have simplified the deception by taking to the internet rather than attending a hospital emergency room or doctor's office.

    The following article by Marc D. Feldman MD, who has followed patients with this condition over the years, gives tips for recognizing this syndrome on the Net.

    Munchausen by Internet:
    Faking Illness Online

    by Marc D. Feldman, M.D

    Online Support for People with Illness - The Internet is a medium of choice for millions of people who need health-related information. Medical websites have multiplied exponentially over the past several years. Thousands of virtual support groups have sprung up for those suffering from particular illnesses. Whether formatted as chat rooms, as newsgroups, or in other ways, they offer patients and families the chance to share their hopes, fears, and knowledge with others experiencing life as they are. These online groups can counter isolation and serve as bastions of understanding, deep concern, and even affection.

    Unfortunately, cyberspace resources are sometimes deliberately misused by people intent on deceiving others. False product claims in spam are perhaps the best-known example. But even in the relative intimacy of health support groups, individuals may choose to mislead others by pretending to have illnesses they do not. They divert the attention of the group toward their feigned battles with cancer, multiple sclerosis, anorexia nervosa, or other ailments. The eventual discovery of the deceptions can be devastating. One group member called it "emotional rape" to have cared so deeply about a person who lied to her and others from his first post on.

    Munchausen by Internet - For decades, physicians have known about so-called factitious disorder, better known in its severe form as Munchausen syndrome (Feldman Ford, 1995). Here, people willfully fake or produce illness to command attention, obtain lenience, act out anger, or control others. Though feeling well, they may bound into hospitals, crying out or clutching their chests with dramatic flair. Once admitted, they send the staff on one medical goose chase after another. If suspicions are raised or the ruse is uncovered, they quickly move on to a new hospital, town, state, or in the worst cases ? country. Like traveling performers, they simply play their role again. I coined the terms "virtual factitious disorder" (Feldman, Bibby, Crites, 1998) and "Munchausen by Internet" (Feldman, 2000) to refer to people who simplify this "real-life" process by carrying out their deceptions online. Instead of seeking care at numerous hospitals, they gain new audiences merely by clicking from one support group to another. Under the guise of illness, they can also join multiple groups simultaneously. Using different names and accounts, they can even sign on to one group as a stricken patient, his frantic mother, and his distraught son all to make the ruse utterly convincing.

    Clues to Detection of False Claims - Based on experience with two dozen cases of Munchausen by Internet, I have arrived at a list of clues to the detection of factititous Internet claims. The most important follow:

    1. the posts consistently duplicate material in other posts, in books, or on health-related websites;
    2. the characteristics of the supposed illness emerge as caricatures;
    3. near-fatal bouts of illness alternate with miraculous recoveries;
    4. claims are fantastic, contradicted by subsequent posts, or flatly disproved;
    5. there are continual dramatic events in the person's life, especially when other group members have become the focus of attention;
    6. there is feigned blitheness about crises (e.g., going into septic shock) that will predictably attract immediate attention;
    7. others apparently posting on behalf of the individual (e.g., family members, friends) have identical patterns of writing.

    Lessons - Perhaps the most important lesson is that, while most people visiting support groups are honest, all members must balance empathy with circumspection. Group members should be especially careful about basing their own health care decisions on uncorroborated information supplied in groups. When Munchausen by Internet seems likely, it is best to have a small number of established members gently, empathically, and privately question the author of the dubious posts. Even though the typical response is vehement denial regardless of the strength of the evidence, the author typically will eventually disappear from the group. Remaining members may need to enlist help in processing their feelings, ending any bickering or blaming, and refocusing the group on its original laudable goal.

    References: Feldman, M.D. (2000): Munchausen by Internet: detecting factitious illness and crisis on the Internet. Southern Journal of Medicine, 93, 669-672
    Feldman, M.D., Bibby, M., Crites, S.D. (1998): "Virtual" factitious disorders and Munchausen
    by proxy. Western Journal of Medicine, 168, 537-539
    Feldman, M.D., Ford, C.V. (1995): Patient or Pretender: Inside the Strange World of Factitious Disorders. New York, John Wiley Sons

    more on: people who fake it online

  • spiritwalker
    spiritwalker

    Elsewhere

    Thanks, that was some good information and I think it does show that this is becoming more of a common problem, then we would want to think. I also think it could and happen on former Jehovah's Witnesses boards.

  • frenchbabyface
    frenchbabyface


    Lots of people can lie in life as well ... maybe not as easy but still there are some very good actors and manipulators ... and I suppose that those are those who are cheating anyway On or Offline. It talks about the mind of the one who does not about the methodologie.

    Now of course you met easely people on the net than in life ... and of course it makes it easy to lie in virtual communication. So we have to read in between the lines (we still can get trapped or being wrong) ... and anyway not being too much involved ... not easy but ... life ain't easy and the cyberworld is a part of it

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