what you can learn from taping phone conversations!!!!:) (page 2)

frenchbabyface

Jst2laws : ... Experience :

well I'm not jealous so it helps a lot (on this specific matter)
I also wonder why most of the time people need or ask for crapy details (Why ? better perserved your self-estime)

but I forgot to tell in this case there is only a few answers you need to know about to make your decisions and there is a very easy way to get them (it is maybe too late for Orbison but well here it is for anyone else who don't have any strategy to check accuratly).

don't give any proof at first (if you didn't yet)

question :

Do you feel the need to have Extra sexual or love affairs ? I wonder ... And I think it is time to talk about the subject as a mature couple ...

Stick together, this is the unexpected OPEN question and information ... very disturbing
50 % chance for him/her to ask why talking about the subject (itself or now or right now)
but whatever the answer is

before to put out any evidence give this information :

I'm not a glue and I love you enough to set you free whenever you want even right now, so is this (the evidences old it/them in your hands) about a need of extra sexual or love affairs that we will have to deal with and need to talk about to protect or couple, or do you need to be totally free ?

while he/she is checking (he/he knows the details of course ... it's only about to know what you know) fullfil the time in saying very quietly :

you know, we can take a break ? (very disturbing for him/her OR interesting you'll see later on)

this way he/she feels quiet free to tell whatever he wants ... (EVERY DOORS ARE OPEN * - so he/she will try to get the most he wants and feels able to ask in a way or another you know little by little by weird paths to get to the point)

(*) Instead of only having to giving explanations you put him/her in a very positive position where he/she is able to ask what he/she wants (and those are THE informations you really want to know about)

what ever his/her answers are, real answers are not in his/her answers but in the way he/she is going to answer them

As open as the communication is this way :

(1) If he/she is defending (or asking for him/herself) with weak or strong excuses, the guy/girl is good for the garbage ! Anyway that means that he/she feels the right or the need to cheat on you ... SO - you make your choice now about what you know and want about yourself honestly)

(2) if he/she feels sorry and protecting you somehow saying at least in a way or another he/she is sorry for the pain he/she causes you, that means that he really feels about you at least ... SO - you make your choice now about what you want and know about yourself honestly)

(3) if you already went through (2) and he/she is playing (2) again ... GET RID OF HIM/HER ! OR TAKE REAL BREAK ... to see if the grass is greener somewhere else for yourself ... Cause that means that he/she don't know what he/she wants for real or want too much (more than you can bear) ... and you don't want to depend on that ...WHAT'S NEXT ?

elamona

Do you realize that you have broken a federal law and are subject to a very tough and lenghty jail sentence if you let anyone know what you have done? Not only that but he cloud wind up OWNING everything you could earn for the forseeable future and take all of your possessions in a civil suit for invasion of privacy and illegal wire tapping?

CruithneLaLuna

Recording someone's telephone conversations without their knowledge and consent is against the law.

I would not tell someone, in effect, "I committed a crime against you for which I could be prosecuted, in order to find out whether you were committing personal offenses against me." Something about that does not compute.

Cruithne

Maverick

Let me ask you, would it serve you better to use the info you have and NOT let this person know what is going on? You could reek all manner of havoc in his life, and act like you know nothing! Confronting him has many unpredictable consequences. If you are patient, you can really work this to your advantage. Why tell him ever? The satifaction of that is small and temporary. Please think this through! Maverick

Heatmiser

Canadian Law might be different than US Law. Also does the law apply if you record your own phone? I don't know the answer to this one. Any legal folk know?

Heatmiser

xenawarrior

Here is a link to a state-by-state summary of wiretapping laws. I think Federal law supercedes though so I'm not sure why these are here. Check out the second link- there was a court of Appeals decision that overturned a "spousal exemption" of federal wiretapping laws in a divorce case.

http://www.rcfp.org/taping/states.html

http://www.privacy.org/archives/001196.html

November 05, 2003

11th Circuit Court of Appeals Overturns Spousal Wiretapping Exception

The 11th Circuit Court of Appeals has overturned a "spousal" exception to the federal wiretapping laws. In Glazner v. Glazner, a man filed for divorce from his wife, and then placed a wiretap on her phone. When the wife discovered the wiretap, she sued, but both the trial court and an initial panel of the appeals court ruled that there was a spousal exemption to the wiretapping laws that exempted the husband from the law. On an appeal to an en banc panel of the 11th Circuit, the court overturned the spousal exemption, and found that the husband violated the federal wiretapping laws.

Glazner v. Glazner (PDF), No. 02-11799 (11th Cir. Oct. 16, 2003).

This link covers the federal law about wiretapping

http://www.eff.org/Privacy/Surveillance/200001_us_fed_wiretap_laws.html#18usc2511

Please be careful orbison !!

Yerusalyim

Lisa,

How'd things go?

shotgun

Has anyone heard from orbison.....kind a worried about her well being when I read her post on the weekend.

Sassy

When I was going through my divorce from my first husband I taped our conversations and some of my conversations with my children who were being influenced by him. It was a mistake on my part. One, my ex was too smart to admit anything on the phone, so even though I found equipment which could tape without "beeping" to warn the other party of the tape, he was too smart... and second, when I had trouble with the courts regarding if he was wise for my youngest child to be with unsupervised, they actually reported it to the court I had audio taped conversations and turned it with a twist to make it look like I was a vindictiave person and that a normal person would not be so invasive.. I couldn't believe it..

abbagail

Wow, what a shocker to see the title of this thread since I recently went through something similar :-/ I'm a bit 'relieved' to see I am not the only 'snoop' among us who felt the "gut instinct" and need to "investigate further" after several months of suspicious behavior, asking and getting no answers, along with an ongoing habit of lies lies lies.

FrenchyBabyFace: Excellent advice and wish I'd had it about this time a month ago! I would have followed your guidelines and handled things differently. Very wise of you!

My sincerest sympathies and empathies to orbison (hope you are okay) and I could especially relate to your comment: "I can't believe the other lives... not one, but 3 lives; lies like i can't believe." :-( Sad but true, evidently, in both our cases, but better to find out and be sure than live in "limbo" and not knowing definitively. It makes it much easier to 'let go' when you are 'in the know.'

Sassy: "...that a normal person would not be so invasive..." So sorry to hear of that outcome! It would be my guess that a lot of people would LIKE to "investigate/document" things, but don't have the guts or the ingenuity to go through with it (unless they have big bucks to hire their own investigators). Also, the ones who are the chronic liars, imnsho, are the ones who are definitely NOT 'normal'!

Regarding the phones, I always thought you COULD tap your OWN phone... but since we did not live together, that was not an option anyway. So after several months of gnawing suspicion, asking and not getting any answers, etc., it dawned on me out of the blue one day (thank you God!) to check his cell's voicemail messages (WHY didn't I think of that long before now? Surprisingly enough, it was fairly 'easy' to figure out the passcode... men are simple creatures, advised my mom, and sure enough, he had used a passcode that 'they say' you should NEVER use...like your OWN birth YEAR, duh! Who woulda thought? ;-) Not sure that would fall in the same category as 'tapping' a landline phone?

I would love to share more and unload the whole story, but I don't want to totally hijack the thread, and it's kind of embarrassing to be duped for so long... I shoulda known a long time ago (there WERE rumors way back when), but I always listented to HIS version of "business/clients/students/jobs"...

Nothing like jumping from the frying pan into the fire, ie, straight from a Too-Good-To-Be-True-chronic-lying-high-control-group/religion smack into the arms of a cute-charming-Too-Good-To-Be-True-chronic-lying-manipulative-guy.
:-/ Hey, maybe life really does begin after Forty... no, make that Fifty-One, lol. Aren't I too old to be this dumb? ;-)

This will put this thread back at the top and maybe someone will hear from orbison... her guy sounded creepy indeed. Hope she checks in soon to confirm that all is okay.
GRITS

what you can learn from taping phone conversations!!!!:)

November 05, 2003

11th Circuit Court of Appeals Overturns Spousal Wiretapping Exception

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