First, I want to thank those of you who learned of my mother?s recent death and quietly sent messages of comfort without violating my need to keep the event unknown to the board in general until a time of my choosing. That time is now here.
I had, of course, written here http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/62441/1.ashx
I was bringing my mother home for hospice care; that she was dying (of a cancerous blood disorder). Your responses of love and support were wonderful.
Mom went very quickly. She died on December 11, 2003 and we buried her in our home state on December 20. She was 74 years old.
The hospice workers were absolutely wonderful, and I can't say enough about the execution of their vocation to aid the dying and their families. I asked for immediate "intake" and they came right away. Because it was too soon to arrange for volunteers to sit with my mother during my classes, I had to arrange for private nursing care (exams were coming up the second week of December), which the hospice social worker got to work on right away for me. We were able to arrange for care starting Thursday, and my girlfriend Jann, whome some of you have met, helped me not to miss class that first Tuesday morning. After class on Tuesday, the social worker from my mother's "team" paid me a visit. When I told her that it seemed my mother was interacting with already dead family members at times, she offered me a printout of information about the dying process that can be found at www.crossingthecreek.com . She gave it to me with the caveat: "Take what you will from this information, but I?ve found it has been helpful to many families." (My mother would have laughed to know that I was reading and researching to find out how I should view what was going on. It is totally in character for me to try to find answers in books and articles.)
I cannot begin to describe what a comfort that article, written by a long-time palliative care nurse, was. My mother was already well into the dying process, and reading that article allowed me to chart her progress and to not be alarmed by what I was witnessing. (I highly recommend it for all those who are watching a loved one die from chronic illness.)
What I did witness are happenings that I would have dismissed as impossible, improbable, impractical, and weird just a few short years ago, and even, for some things, as recently as a couple of months ago. I am still digesting the profound knowledge that has been relayed to me as a result of witnessing my mother?s death. Her loss hurts very much, but her passing has brought me untold joy.
What is behind that seeming contradiction? I am now convinced of our immortality. No objection any skeptic can raise will be able to invalidate my personal experience of the fact that we exist in at least two dimensions and that healing takes place on the Other Side.
I watched my mother meet her previously deceased loved ones: first, her Mama, who died at about the same age as my mother was, from a second stroke; then, my , her kindest sister. My sister, whom I assumed would be there, if anyone was, and my father (more doubtful, since he had died when she was angry with him), were not among the Greeters. Later, she communicated that her Papa, my grandfather was there. I think he was the person who later escorted her across the threshold from this life to the next. He was her hero in this life, loving her palpably and unstintingly, and love is the key, here, folks, the everlasting connection.
It is important to understand that my mother had difficulty speaking after her last stroke. Basically, the hospital only gave my brother and I information about her terminal condition once they had determined that she was not competent to make her own wishes known. Her speech was so impaired that we despaired ever knowing what she actually wanted for her immediate physical needs or for her funeral arrangements or to communicate to my brother and I as ?last words.? The intake nurse categorized Mom as ?lethargic with expressive aphasia.? Yet, I witnessed my mother going to ?visit? people on the Other Side and experience healing there. How so? When she returned to the present, she was able to speak coherently with perfect diction. Yet, the longer she remained consciously with me in the present, the more her speech gradually reverted to the typical post-stroke stuttering and nonsense syllables. This occurred several times in the 12 days she spent in my home.
What did my mother communicate to me? That part of her purpose here was to assure me, to help me to believe that, as she put it, ?we live in two places,? that there is life after death. That there are ?Masters? or ?Guides? as New Age spiritualism teaches. That, while relating our past lives to others on this planet is generally frowned upon, she personally believed it was sometimes necessary. I got the definite impression she felt that a recent revelation about a past life to her, my brother and I, about the same person, but at separate points in time, was necessary in order for my brother and I to be open to her mission (which I do not believe she understood until her last days): to get us to BELIEVE in our soul?s immortality.
I was so excited and joyful about what she was saying, that it felt almost criminal to me to feel that way when what was causing my joy was the way her departure from my life was occuring.
I know the skeptics among you will wonder if my mother were not just hallucinating these visitors. If you read the information at the website I cited, you will learn that there is a difference between irrational hallucinations and these purposeful visits with dead loved ones. My mother DID hallucinate about bugs and seemed frantic about what she saw. On the other hand, when she was ?visiting?, she was not HERE ? she was definitely someplace else. And not all of what she experienced was pleasant. Sometimes there was yelling and frowning and distress. When I arrived running in alarm, she snapped back to the present, looked at me, and shooed me away -- and promptly returned to her "work." There were many shakes of the head ?no? at the beginning, and more nods toward the end, of her dying. It seemed clear to me that she was going through a life review. (I say this because of some of the people she mumbled about ? surprising mentions of old neighborhood kids, for example ? indicating a progression from long ago, through my childhood, to more recent events. Plus she confirmed some things to me at times when she was newly ?back? from her voyages.)
It is all quite strange, weird even. And it?s quite wonderful, awe-inspiring, soul-lightening, a true gift. My mother?s dying gave me certain knowledge and insight, on the enduring, eternal power of love.
I miss my Mom very, very much. Today is the anniversary of her birth. On what would have been her 75th birthday, I wanted to share that profound gift with all my friends at JWD. Do what you will with this message. When the right time comes for each of you, you will understand deeply and completely and value the reminder of what your souls already know.
With love to the board, yet in sorrow at Mom's passing,
Brenda