Do they try too hard to be 'normal?'

by LDH 20 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  LDH

  It has occurred to me recently, that a lot of the behavior of JWs in good standing is done to trick themselves and others into thinking they're normal. When in fact, they're not.

  Example:

  When a young JW man goes to a 'gathering' he will drink one beer loudly and proclaim how good cold beer is! But he will not touch another. Then on Monday he goes to work and tries to fit in by telling the guys about the 'party' and all the Heineken floating around.

  Of course, he wants them to get the impression that he is NORMAL and parties every bit as much as they do! After all he's one of the guys!

  This same phenomenon happens at Christmas, when worldlings are told that our children get 'gifts all year long.' Now this is a blatant lie. But what JW would truthfully say, "NO I don't get my kid a present all year long, and on Christmas either!"

  No way, the JW wants to be perceived as normal as possible. Why is it, do you think, JW conciously KNOW they are supposed to be different from the world, yet they make every effort possible to play down their differences when questioned about them?
• 

  joelbear

  They are normal. They want to fit in and be accepted by other people yet they want to feel special. I think that is true of almost everyone to some degree or another.

  We want to be liked for who we are, yet we want to be liked. So, we adapt ourselves to our surroundings for our survival and our comfort.

  The point is, Jehovah's Witnesses are just like everybody else. There is nothing special about being "in the truth". They have good days and bad days, some are good, some are bad, some are downright nasty people. But they are people.

  They are more trusting of their group leader's than most other people. I do think that is what enables them to be so dispassionate with regard to family and friends who do not share their beliefs and so blithely look forward to the destruction of their non witness neighbors.

  hugs

  Joel
• 

  bigboi

  Hey All:

  I agree with joel. Despite all the crap they put in our heads, and all the unusual shit we did, we are still just like evrybody else. We just had a different method to our madness or it was put in a different covering but all in all it's the same bullshit everyone else goes through.

  I remember I did this internship at a bank my junior yr in High School. That was when I realized that the WTS operates a great deal like the coporate world in it's training sessions. They just put a different spin on things and dress it up a bit differently. But it's mainly the same.

  ONE....

  Bigboi

  "it ain't what ya do. it's how you do it" quote from the song "True Honeybunz" by Bahamadia
• 

  LDH

  Joel,

  Hugs back atcha babe, but I disagree with you on this one.

  Are they normal in the sense do they have two eyes ears arms legs etc YES. Do they put their pants on one leg at a time? YES.

  So let me clarify.They are NOT normal in terms of emotional development.

  It is not normal to deprive your child of every celebration of life on the grounds of pagan origins, and then not make any effort to replace it with anything else. Even the Israelites had NUMEROUS festivals.

  They are NOT normal in the development of Human Sexuality and coming to terms with members of the opposite (or even same) sex.

  They are NOT normal in terms of squashing every little bit of creativity, a gift from Jehovah, by pairing it with the words 'immodest attention to one self.'

  They are NOT normal in terms of thinking there is a shortcut to a brilliant life, and that it doesn't involve YEARS of hard work, education, and effort. I don't consider going in Field Service and lusting after other people's property NORMAL.

  They are NOT normal after years of being told that they should just clean houses or windows for YEARS until the new system, that they shouldn't have a career goal in this life. They are NOT normal in terms of how little they value education.

  They are NOT normal in terms of Healthcare. Whether referring to the old generation who beleived that Aluminum would kill you, or vaccinations would give you Herpes, right down to today and the way they dictate that you should complete an Advanced Medical Directive (something that's very personal) and have it signed by 'two witnesses'.

  There is so much depression, paranoia, etc etc in the organization. Now, I'm not saying there's not the SAME AMOUNT of negative in every other organization. I'm saying, they are DELUDED INTO THINKING THEY ARE NORMAL AND HAPPY because they are constantly told how 'happy' they are. And, how 'different' from the world they are.

  And there is nothing normal about looking forward to the death of 99% of the world's population.

  Luv,
  Lisa
• 

  jurs

  i disagree with joelbear. JW's are not normal. when i first started to attend meetings, i thought that many JW's were strange but i focused on the ones that seemed normal. over the years of being a JW i found that people seemed less strange and that there were fewer weirdos. my guess is, is that i was becoming a little odd myself and that is why others seemed less so. i was one of those that tried to "look normal". for example, my parents and my husbands parents were upset when i became a JW so i did my best to make them think everything is normal. one time i was going to go visit them (they live in a different state) and a sister wanted to go with me. i made up some excuses to her so she would not go. i knew if my parents met her that they'd be more upset. she wasn't the sort that tried to be normal. she said odd things about demons being in yard sale stuff and had a very sensitive conscience about t.v. programs. she wouldn't hesitate to point out that smoking was a sin. my parents on the other hand like to drink, gamble ect. they would think she was out of her mind and i didn't want to have to defend her or admit i agreed. i was stessed about what this sister would say. another example : once i went on a bible study with a pioneer sister and the gal that was studying was being opposed by her husband. the pioneer sister strongly suggested she leave her husband for her spiritual safety. i tried to take over the conversation by changing the subject.. i could tell that the bible student was uncomfortable and i was upset with the pioneer for scaring her off by acting so extreme. now looking back at it all , its the "normal acting ones that are the real danger" at least with the extreme JW's your getting a more accurate picture of what the group really thinks......jurs
• 

  joelbear

  Hi Lisa,

  I don't mind being disagreed with. Discussion is interesting and the only way I learn anything.

  You miss my point slightly.

  I agree with you that all of the activities you listed: no celebrations, putting off life, expecting god to fix everything, etc. are not healthy activities.

  However normal people engage in many unhealthy activities. My point is that Jehovah's Witnesses have basically the same needs as everyone else. Their methods for providing emotional needs for themselves are at best self defeating and at worst self destructing.

  hugs

  Joel
• 

  joelbear

  LOL,

  After reading jurs post. I think Lisa and Jurs may be right and I'm wrong.

  I used to go out in service with this absolutely wacked out sister. She was a freak. She would argue with people to the point that people would slam doors or follow us out of their yards. A true nut case.

  Once, a few of us young pioneers planned a trip to Disneyworld and she freaked out because she thought disney was demonized because of the stories about fairies (peter pan) witches (snow white) and of course the evilest of them all Mary Poppins.

  No one else would go out in service with her. I must have been crazy to. I am surprised we were never shot.

  I'll never forget when I was a senior in high school I had already started changing my mind about the witnesses and I was editor of the high school year book. Me and a girl on the staff road in the homecoming parade to promote the yearbook. I saw this sister watching the parade go by, just standing there, staring at me with this reallllllly!!!!!! weird grin on her face, like she was casting judgement on me. Like when I saw her, she knew I had gotten caught at something bad.

  MY GOD!!!! They are freaks. HELLLPPPPPP!!!!!!

  MOMMYYYYY!!!!

  hugs

  Joel
• 

  JAVA

  Why is it, do you think, JW conciously KNOW they are supposed to be different from the world, yet they make every effort possible to play down their differences when questioned about them?

  That’s an interesting question, and seems to be a quirk many cult-like religions have. A few years ago the JW Hospital Liaison Committee addressed an audience of health care professionals at the teaching hospital where I work. The spokesman painted the Witnesses as “A religion spreading the good news of God’s Kingdom.” The fact is, it’s a religion based on fear and control, which believes God is going to murder billions of people who don’t sell Watchtower magazines. However, in order to appear normal, they present themselves as a religion spreading God’s Word, when in fact they pray for a holocaust of the worst kind.

  I was standing in back of the auditorium (about 100 people were there) when this group started their little spill. During the Q&A period I raised my hand (the group didn’t know me) and asked, “How would your religious community treat a Jehovah’s Witness who knowingly accepted a blood transfusion?” After a long pause the guy said, “A Jehovah’s Witness would not ask for a blood transfusion.” I said, “Well, lets say a Jehovah’s Witness was dying and needed a blood transfusion to save his life, and he accepted this life-saving procedure. Now lets say a member of your Hospital Liaison Committee found out about this and reported it to the congregation elders; how would your religious community treat a member who willingly accepted a blood transfusion?” The guy became angry and said, “We didn’t come here to have our religion attacked.” At that point the three JWs left the auditorium. So much for appearing NORMAL!

  BTW, the JW Liaison Committee was not invited back again when the hospital had various religious groups present their special medical needs. The hospital also stopped calling the JW Liaison Committee when JWs were admitted as done in the past. This group told the hospital they were pastoral ministers for the Witnesses in the area, and the Witnesses requested their services. In some follow-up meetings I had with the hospital attorneys, I pointed out the main reason they were there was to make sure the JWs didn’t take blood. Of course that raised many legal concerns, so the Liaison Committee stopped getting calls from the hospital. I can't tell you how bad that makes me feel.

  --JAVA

  ...counting time at the Coffee Shop
• 

  joelbear

  Java,

  very interesting story. I think that is a good tactic. I was recently approached by a young lady where I work who had been offered a study by Jehovahs Witnesses. She knew that I had been associated with them.

  I very calmly went through the facts about being a witness, both positive and negative.

  She decided to stay with the church she was attending.

  hugs

  Joel
• 

  Tina

  Outstanding Java!! WTG,I luv your style :>
  What 'preventative medicine' you practice lol. Seriously what you did may just save some lives.
  Did the attorneys at least buy ya a cuppa joe for that info? I hope so.
  With admiration and Hugs,Tina who bets that Java can be found in the hospital coffee shop/cafeteria :>

  LDh Hiyas!
  I totally agree with your assessment! Great thread you started. Thanks(((((lisa)))))))) Tina