How did I spend my New Years Eve? With a bunch of drunk Jehovahs Witnesses, that's how! My best friend -- who hasn't been to a meeting in three months and has referred to Isaiah books I and II as "shit" -- has connections with the outer periphery of the organization's young folk. You know, typical double-lifer's. They gathered on New Years Eve for a party. But, of course, it wasn't a "New Year's Eve" party, just a party that happened to fall on New Years Eve. Yeah. Right.
I knew most, but not all, of the people there -- never people I would have associated with in my model Dub days, but oh-how-times-have-changed! One of the young whips who I didn't know -- the same one who earlier in the evening was smoking pot in his car and had a "HighAgain" t-shirt on -- asked me, "So, what hall are you from?"
"Hall?" I replied, feigning ignorance.
"Yeah, Kingdom Hall" said this naive little pothead. Puzzled looks on my end was what I felt like giving.
"Aren't you a Jehovah's Witness?" furthers the Jehovahs Witless.
"No."
"Oh...uh...um...I'm sorry." (Young dub exits to kitchen after uncomfortable silence to get re-fill of Bacardi)
That was weird conversation number one of the evening. But before we get to weird conversation #2 we have to watch American Pie while one of the numbskills is practically jerking off on the couch. Nice. But, at least doesn't celebrate Christmas or believe in evolution.
A little later in the evening one of the fella's I knew growing up came to the party with his wife (they were married kind of late for a dub couple. I believe they were both 21.) This guy is an elders son and was (is?) a real primadonna. He led the countdown to midnight and everybody toasted with their champagne. Has there been new light on toasting or did they figure the demons weren't going to leave the room no matter what they do?
Aforementioned elder's kid asks me later on, "So, what made you decide to leave?" If I would have said, "sex, drugs and R-rated movies" he would have understood. That would have been respectable in this guy's worldview. (All young dubs leave for those reasons, right?) My answer was a little more cerebral, though.
First, I told him if he really wanted to know. He said he did. I made clear that I didn't want to persuade him in any way or offend him. Maybe it was the liquer talking, but he persued questioning me nonetheless. "Okay" I thought. I'll tell him.
Science. Ray Franz. 607 BC. The genocide in the Bible. 6,000,000,000 dead people to solve the world's problems. I laid it on the line. He couldn't understand. He said that Noah's Ark "proves" the Bible to him. Oh Lordie.
Hey, in the end it was a cool evening. Everybody happy: 'gunna die at Armageddon but at least there's Jack Daniels to lighten the mood, right?
Really, I wish you all could have been there. Happy New Year folks!
Bradley