FORNICATION - Friend or Foe?

adamgraziano

Is fornication as bad as the JW's say it is?

JW quote - "The aftereffects of immorality are as bitter as wormwood and as sharp as a two-edged sword?painful and death dealing. A troubled conscience, an unwanted pregnancy, or a sexually transmitted disease are often the bitter consequences of such conduct. And think of the enormous emotional pain experienced by the marriage partner of an unfaithful individual. One act of infidelity can inflict wounds deep enough to last a lifetime. Yes, immorality hurts."

The way the JW's put it make me never want to have sex! (It sounds terrifying)

So, I'd like to hear it from all you "evil doers" out there - Is it emotionally painful and give you a terribly troubled conscience?

Does sex before marriage inflict wounds to last a lifetime? Is it painful and death dealing?

iiz2cool

I wasn't raised a JW, so I had numerous relationships before marriage, but they didn't cause any serious problems at all. The most serious problems were caused by the fact that my wife was raised as a JW, was sexually abused as a child, and the problem covered over by the congregation. As a result she never received the help she needed, and this resulted in the breakup of our marriage.

Walter

talley

Foe. Been there - done that. First marriage had sex before marriage. Second time around waited until the judge signed the certificate ( I was 32, Bud was 44). It is now 30 yrs later and we are closer than ever due to common interests besides sex.

I think of sex as the 'frosting' on the 'cake' of life. One can live on 'cake' alone, it's better with a bit of 'frosting', but all 'frosting' and no 'cake' is not good for one. What is important is the 'cake'/life's partner. Chosen wisely, he/she will 'sustain' you for the rest of your life.

gumby

Does sex before marriage inflict wounds to last a lifetime? Is it painful and death dealing?

The act of sex, is the same act when their is a certificate of marriage to go with it. The consequences can change when various partners are involved, rather than a monogamous relationship for obvious reasons.

Diseases are a factor......but that itself does not make the act wrong. If you hang out with 10 people rather than just one, your chances of catching a flu-bug from one of them is 10 times greater. If you drive to 10 stores to shop instead of just one, your chances are 10 times greater you will get in an accident getting there.

As far as conscience goes......your conscience bothers you from things you have been told is wrong, then YOU also believe it's wrong, and you go against that. For sex to be wrong before marriage, one would have to believe the bible to be from god, and that all it's contents are true.

Gumby

Xena

Does sex before marriage inflict wounds to last a lifetime?

It can if it's unprotected sex....

but if you protect yourself and your partner...it's all good between consenting adults

edited to add....we cross-posted gumby...but you said it better than me

Stacy Smith

A troubled conscience, an unwanted pregnancy, or a sexually transmitted disease are often the bitter consequences of such conduct.

Yeah none of those things ever happen during a marriage do they?

FORNICATION - Friend or Foe?

I'm thinking Friend. Now adultry? Another story indeed.

SanFranciscoJim

Sex in any form cannot be enjoyable as naturally intended if it is accompanied by guilt and fear, as the JWs would have it.

Most religion spends entirely too much time peering into their minions' bedrooms, and not enough time caring for the flock. The JWs are certainly one of the most sex-obsessed religions I've ever encountered. Any religion that forbids sexual privacy through demands of controlled sexual activity invites illicit sexual exploration among its membership, and overall creates an unhealthy atmosphere of distrust and intolerance.

Sassy

Can NO sex before marriage have everlasting hurt?? YES

I would never again marry without having 'tried for a fit' at least once any way. My last marriage when I was still a JW was to a 'brother' from another country. It was very important to me to do things 'exactly' as the WTS since I had made mistakes in the past. I thought if I did everything the way it was supposed to be, then our marriage and our lives could be blessed even more. Turned out he was a liar. Yes he is still a brother in the cong wherever the hell he attends, but he COULDN'T EVEN HAVE sex... which I had NO idea until our wedding night. And guess what? according to the WTS that is not reason to end a marriage. There is even an article that talks about that is it says something to the affect that it is unfair if one did not tell the other before marriage of a problem, it is nonetheless not grounds for a scriptural divorce... so I ended up duped in a marriage that I found out shortly after the wedding was only for a green card and I would forever be doomed if staying a JW alone or living a life of hell with this man..

NEVER AGAIN.

don't make the mistake I did... HAVE sex before marriage.. Make sure it is something you will enjoy part of your life before a commitment.. Every partner is not the same.....

talesin

So, I'd like to hear it from all you "evil doers" out there - Is it emotionally painful and give you a terribly troubled conscience?

Only if you believe it is immoral - emotional pain is not caused by sexual freedom. It's caused by unhealthy interactions - a good reason to do what you are doing, by asking questions, opinions and sharing others' experiences.

Learn as much as you can about different ways of looking at things. Don't accept their (WTB&TS) or anyone else's opinions on morality - form your own as a thinking adult who is open to new ways of looking at things. Balance is the key, imho.

good luck with it!

talesin

stillajwexelder

I had sex before marriage -- I was not a witness -- I have never regretted it and nor do I have guilt about it. My wife does though --- but then she is a diehard dub

FORNICATION - Friend or Foe?

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