I can't stand it when people I know make bad decisions and make them knowing they are bad. My fiance is like that and her father is like that. Runs in the fam. Anyway, I recognize the fact that they are adults and can make decisions on their own. But I when there's a problem I will tell them what I think should be done and then I drop it. All I can do is give my advice and tell them what I would do in that situation. But I don't make them do anything and I don't say anything more on the matter. If they choose to ignore me and either make a bad choice or choose to do nothing then that's their choice and they have nothing to complain about. I find it hard to feel sorry for or be simpathetic towards someone who complains about a situation they're in when they ignore every piece of good advice given to them. I just say, "Yeah, that sucks. That's why I told you that you should do this. But you didn't. Live and learn I guess."
It's like women that stay in abusive relationships because "they love him". Well, if you love him then I don't wanna hear one complaint about that black eye he gave you. I don't wanna see one single tear trickling down your face. I wanna see a big ole happy smile on that battered face because you obviously like it when he beats you...otherwise you'd leave. I don't feel sorry for them one bit.
My fiance is owed several weeks of bonus money that her boss still hasn't sent in. I told her the first week, "Tell him that you need the money in the next check. If he doesn't submit it then tell his boss, the Distric Manager, that he isn't doing his job and that you need your money." What does she do? Nothing. Then payday comes around and she's complaining that she didn't get her bonus. I just said, "Of course you didn't. Because you didn't do what I suggested. What did you expect?" She still hasn't gotten it. I think she does these things because she likes to have things to complain about but I just brush it off because she does these things KNOWING FULL WELL what the outcome will be. So she has nothing to complain about.
Her dad waited until about a week before he was DEAD before he went to the hospital for congestive heart failure. He had been suffering for about 8 months with it, and I mean suffering! We both kept telling him, "You need to go to the hospital." And he would just say, "Yeah yeah...I probably should..." and he doesn't. I just told my fiance to just let him suffer then. It must not be too bad or he would go to the doctor. He must like it I guess.
I'm sorry if I sound like a prick but I am a logical thinking person and if someone KNOWS what they should do to solve their problem and WILLING and CONSCIOUSLY chooses ON THEIR OWN to not do anything about it then they have nothing to complain about and they have no one to blame but themselves and I'll be damned if I'm going to waste my time feeling sorry for them. I will love them and I will advice them what should be done but it is their life to live and their choices to make. Like the old man said in the movie Jurrasic Park, "I don't blame people for their mistakes but I do ask that they pay for them."
