by minimus 38 Replies latest jw friends
Well just about all of the above and
guilty for
I can relate to a lot of these statements, but the ones I felt most guilty about were:
Not always studying for the WT lesson
Not auxilliary pioneering enough
Not having the desire or wanting to go in field service on Saturday mornings, and doing something else instead and feeling guilty that I did something else
Not raising my hand to comment at the meetings
Always feeling inadequate and comparing myself to others, especially those who had become witnesses when I was raised as one--not having the "zeal in the ministry" that they had, even though I aided a few people to dedication and baptism.
I could never do the standard field service presentations. They drummed it into us on Thursday that we MUST use the presentations and present the literature of the month, and that was a constant pressure for me! I felt so guilty that I wasn't good enough at field service for this reason. All I wanted to do (when I was there....I'd rather not have been there) was talk to people about Jehovah and Jesus, but instead I was made to feel bad because I wasn't offering the books or brochures.
I felt guilty about not doing enough hours in FS. Guilty about going out on the town with my JW friend (we used to be paranoid that we'd be seen). Guilty about not studying for all the meetings. Guilty that I didn't help out the old people more. Guilty I wasn't pioneering.
I hate the JW religion!
Sirona
Sex and masturbation was another thing that many JWs feel guilty over. I was reading Just2Laws thread about Jan and how embarrassing it was for people to go to old men or young ones too, to "confess" their sexual weaknesses or pleasures.
If you go see a movie, probably they would say, "Would Jesus go and see that move"?
My mother tried that on my brother. His response was, "How the **** would I know? I never knew the man!"
As for guilt, there was a lot put on me. I was made to feel guilty for not being an unbaptized publisher, so I became one. The same went with the Theocrapic Ministry School. Many times I was made to feel guilty for not commenting at the WT Study, or not speaking at the doors in Field Service.
The worst was when I was studying with this one guy. He would make it a goal to prepare a comment for me to answer at the WT study. To put the pressure on even more, he let the WT Study conductor know which question I was going to answer. When the question came around at the study, the conductor would stare me down, waiting for me to raise my hand. That was the worst feeling in the world.
I was made to feel guilty for having a part-time job. I lived in a small town at the time and almost everyone in the congregation pioneered *no kidding*. One of the congregation sister went as far as telling my close friend that she shouldn't associate with me because I was too materialistic. This hurt, considering I had pioneered for many years after graduating from high school and had done without for most of my life.
I felt guilty for doubting some of the teachings.
One elder was giving a talk and he mentioned how many times a day we should pray.He said if we can count the amount of times on our fingers,then its not enough.Sooooooo,I felt guilty if I prayed under ten times. I laugh about it now.
Felt guilty about not answering at the meetings....
Felt guilty is I didn't put enough time in service.
Being human,made me feel guilty.
When I made one of those commen mistakes that most teens make and got pregnant, I asked for help and forgivness. I was all alone and pregnant with my daughter ...... And publicly reproved. A lot of guilt from family and the congragation when it should be one of the happiest times of your life. I was never given my 'privelages' no matter what I did.
Do you have any idea how HARD it is to wake up for service when you've been and sick can't sleep?! At the end of my pregnancy they said that I wasn't putting enough effort out to attend the meeting on Saturday morning . So I was a bad person for being pregnant and for being sick and tired and not attending every single meeting while pregnant.
I was also going to Massage Therapy school while pregnant and they pulled me aside to ask "what type of work I would be conducting and that I should consider what Jehovah would think." I was trying to get an education so as to be able to suport my daughter as a single mom!
GUILT that they thought everyone would view me as a prostitute. NOTHING is ever good enough!
One of many:
My J-dub friends and Elders just hated it when I would buy Girl Scout cookies (love those things..)while doing street work. They argued the Girl Scouts were a ...paramilitary organization, blah, blah, blah,....
My reply was it was a commercial transaction. What?s the difference between shopping at a store owned by the Mormons or another non JW vender on the street?
One elder was giving a talk and he mentioned how many times a day we should pray.He said if we can count the amount of times on our fingers,then its not enough
I would've thought, "I can't count ZERO on my fingers!".
A lot of guilt from family and the congragation when it should be one of the happiest times of your life.
Welcome to the board Brooklynn! The Society loves taking away the joy their members should feel on certain occasions. Birthdays (especially your 18th or 21st) should be a happy occasion. Same with wedding someone you fall in love with (who is either spiritually weak or worldly).
