The Mormon Guide to Avoiding Self Abuse (page 2)

Englishman

Well, you know what they say.

You can beat an egg but you can't beat a wank!

Englishman.

Mutz

You can beat an egg but you can't beat a wank!
hahahahahahaha how true!

Mary

I knew one elder who advocated masturbation (cause his wife wasn't giving him any). He used to say "Do not let your left hand, know what your right hand is doing."

End of story.

stillajwexelder

The advice is not that much different than what the WTBTS printed a few years ago

Sara Annie

I think anyone who puts that much thought into how to stop masturbating needs to start immediately.

Puh-leeze. Is there anything, and I mean ANYTHING as stupid as making such a gigantic deal out of something so insignificant as this? It hurts no one, it's not evil, it's not adverse to nature. Show of hands: Who here never masturbates? Another show of hands: Who here is a damn liar? The same group of people will have their hands in the air.

And anyone who posts saying "I've never done that!" protesteth just a little too much.

undercover

Masturbation is the first thing that comes to mind when looking at Gretchen's avatar, that's for sure.

stillajwexelder

And anyway - what is better -- to relieve a little sexual tension with masturbation -- or to commit fornication -- I mean -- come on! I just can not see what the big deal is about a perfectly normal bodily function -- why would Jehovah stop us getting through Armageddon because we stimulate a particular body part -- most churches have a problem with it? WHY, WHY , WHY - IT IS FU----G NORMAL BODILY FUNCTION

jws

If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.

I know that probably everyone does it and most people won't admit to it, especially in a religious environment where it's not tolerated. How in the world is some Mormon supposed to know if their friend has a problem with it? Do they get together in little groups and do it together? How does that work?

And they quitting together? Sounds like the "Master of my domain" episode of Seinfeld.

Rabbit

Whew -- I needed this for a good laugh. My wife and I were rolling on the floor, it was so funny.

She interrupted my reading to remind me her 'personal' vibrator needed new batteries, I told her

it looked as tho we need a book of Morman for her one hand, I'd tie the other up for her at night.

But, I drew the line at listening to 'hymn' singing at night!

Besides being funny, it's sad to think this is really being foisted on normal people...

Lee

czarofmischief

One of my exes read this, during the time I was struggling to get reinstated. I was so dumb I believed that they were right, despite being mormon.

What a chump I was.

CZAR

The Mormon Guide to Avoiding Self Abuse

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