by micheal 31 Replies latest jw friends
Was there any particular event, teaching, experience where it all came together for you when you really questioned the "truth", or believed it wasn't it couldn't be god's organization?
When did you realize and say to yourself, this just doesn't add up?
Yes - first time I logged onto Randy's website www.freeminds.org - about 4 years ago
Probably when Jehovah wasn't stopping the daily beatings from the kids at school, no matter how many times a day I prayed. I probably prayed about every hour. I truly believed that I was supposed to have uncontrollable shaking at age 13 because Satan and his demons were putting my faith to the test.
Actually, that was probably the one event that got the ball rolling. More followed.
I suppose it was when I was raped while being a good little baptized pioneer. That kind of surprised me. I've learned a lot since then.
How about you Micheal?
~Aztec
How about you Micheal?
Basically when I took a step back, looked at my shitty life and said, " hey everything that is crappy in my life is a result of being a good jw"
No bad came to me from the world. Even though it was supposed to, it didn't. I didn't bring these things upon myself. I honestly did everything by the book. Pioneered for over a decade. Assembly parts. Never missed meetings. Conducted several bible studies. Went to Bethel. Served on the body for years. I really did everything by the book. I heard brothers slandering other brothers. I saw true dislike amongst each other.
But all it brought me was more and more misery and anxiety and unhappiness. The blessing of Jehovah makes one rich? I don't think so!! That just didn't add up.
So I said, screw this I'm going to start a new way of living, one that will hopefully result in happiness for the first time in years.
I suppose it was when I was raped while being a good little baptized pioneer.
I'm very sorry this happened to you Carrie.
It all seemed less important once they changed the 1914 theory.
DY
So sorry.
Hugs
Hope everything is good your way.
After continually hearing my mother tell me that "If I was a good wife/mother I would get back to the meetings and teach my husband and daugther the 'truth'" and then realizing that being a JW didn't make her a better wife/mother.
That was just the beginning of a long road of realizing the truth about the "truth".
I've had doubts for years, but like a good little dubbie, ignored them or thought that I was just not being theocratic enough. Looking back I have realized that I have lied to myself all this time. I liked things and did things not approved by the Society and I felt guilty about it. Little by little though, things just wouldn't go away anymore and the answers from the publications were not satisfactory. I have to admit that the Internet opened my eyes to a lot of things. Of course you can't admit that to anyone still in, they just don't get it. Even though the things I read on the Internet opened my eyes, I didn't accept all of it. It was from apostates, you know. Over time though, I compared the publications with each other and studied the doctrines and the opposing viewpoint on some of the major doctrines including the chronology of 1914. Once I realized that the 607 and 1914 chronology had major flaws, I was for all intense purposes done with it all. Since then, I have seen the hypocrisy in many other areas. I have seen the non-scriptural way of trying to control people and judge people. Jehovah's Witnesses is just another apocolyptic, fundamentalist, hypocritical religion. The one thing that I learned from the Witnesses is that "religion is a snare and a racket". Now I know they were right about that one.
Aztec,
In your JW story you posted the following:
"When I was almost 19 I met a "worldly" guy who I decided immediatly that I liked. I snuck out of my parents house to go on a date with him. The date turned out badly because he took my back to his house and raped me. I won't go into details but it was a very bad experience and destroyed any faith I had in a god."
Help me understand how God was supposed to protect you after committing such indiscretion?!
9 times out of 10 we bring about our own problems and God hasn't a darn thing to do with it.
DY
