Out of the Loop

by Descender 13 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  jgnat

  I see three factors in your grey fog.

  1. You are not being treated properly by your wife.
  2. You feel like you are at an impasse with your career.
  3. You may have a brain chemistry that requires drugs to readjust.

  1. Perhaps your wife is bored with your depression, and decided to go have fun regardless. THAT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. She should still be living with integrity and compassion. Is she a shallow thinker? I am a jealous partner and when I sense a threat, I go along. I want to know what I am up against. If I were you, I would go along on her jaunts, even if you don't feel like it. Face what you are up against.

  2. When I get bored with my job, that is a signal to move on and grow. Who said you had to be promoted in the position you are in? Take a Career Evaluation course to help you consider other jobs/opportunities that might be out there, and go for it! Every one of my job moves were positive for me and my career.

  3. Drugs have improved immensely in the last ten years. It is worth it to give another try. Many of the new drugs are non-addicting and have fewer side-effects. Find a good doctor and persist until you find the right combination.
• 

  seeitallclearlynow

  ...tap the phone, install spyware, if "unrepentant" dump the lady....

  OMG he's having flashbacks of being an elder....
• 

  Makena1

  Ha! No, seeitclearly, I have been listening to too much of Tom Leykus's - Leykus 101, and I know he was never a JW elder! lol

  I believe integrity, honesty, and trust are key elements to a relationship. If that trust is broken, you have a right to know, and sometimes you have to take extraordinary measures to find out. Again, in my opinion, part of the problem here is a lack of communication about what one or the other is doing or not doing, or what each expects out of the relationship.

  Speak up, be honest - say what you are doing hurts me. Listen, and try to reach a compromise. If both are persons of integrity they will find a way to work things out.

  Sorry if I am not making much sense - I have a migraine this morning.

  Best wishes for a successful conclusion to your dilemna.

  Mak
• 

  Lady Lee

  jgnat said it beautifully.

  1. You are not being treated properly by your wife. Perhaps your wife is bored with your depression, and decided to go have fun regardless. THAT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. She should still be living with integrity and compassion. Is she a shallow thinker? I am a jealous partner and when I sense a threat, I go along. I want to know what I am up against. If I were you, I would go along on her jaunts, even if you don't feel like it. Face what you are up against.

  I would add to that. A married woman might go out ocassionaly with "the girls" but she prefers to go out with her husband. if she is telling you "you wouldn't fit in" then I have to wonder what it is she thinks is so different about the people she hangs out with. Suggest she invite them all over one night. Get to know them. You'd think she would want the parts of her life to have some connection to each other - unless there is something to hide. Check it out and don't take NO for an answer. You have every right to know the people she is friends with.

  2. You feel like you are at an impasse with your career. When I get bored with my job, that is a signal to move on and grow. Who said you had to be promoted in the position you are in? Take a Career Evaluation course to help you consider other jobs/opportunities that might be out there, and go for it! Every one of my job moves were positive for me and my career.

  Yup it's a big world. Start exploring it.

  3. You may have a brain chemistry that requires drugs to readjust. Drugs have improved immensely in the last ten years. It is worth it to give another try. Many of the new drugs are non-addicting and have fewer side-effects. Find a good doctor and persist until you find the right combination.

  For a while many doctors were diagnosing ADD and ADHD far too often. Get a second opinion. if indeed you do have it take the meds. As jgnat said there have been a lot of improvements. And if you don't have it then get treatment for what you do have. People leaving a cult are common sufferers of PTSD, anxiety disorders and depression. CHECK IT OUT! and deal with it whether that means meds or counseling.