[Quick update: almost a year ago my mother had two strokes and a heart attack. Needless to say, we haven?t stepped foot in a Kingdom Hell since then. Some of the rank and file have been kind and supportive, so I have them over to the house once in awhile (I?m also doing it for selfish reasons since it gives me a break and I can get out)]
Well, the P.O. phoned last night to see if ?we could come and visit you and your mum?. Hmm, could it have anything to do with the double bill of C.O. and D.O. visiting in two weeks time, make it look like they?ve been doing shepherding calls? (as a side note, this elder was on the judicial committee that DF'd SaintSatan)
I tell him that (a) mum isn?t feeling too well (the truth, she had stomach pains in the evening) and (b) as I mentioned to him previously, last minute calls really don?t work very well under the present circumstances. He said, oh okay maybe next week. I said (my mistake) maybe you can say hello to mum at any rate. Sure.
They talk for a couple of minutes, mum hangs up then bursts into tears.
?I want to go back to the meetings.? she mumbles between sobs. Now I know that part of it was just the thought of getting out of the house, so I say, ?you get out, we went out last night (to my brother?s) for supper, we went to a movie, etc.?
?But what?s Jehovah going to think of me, I can?t get to the meetings?. God almighty what did that f&&king elder say to her I?m thinking to myself.
So then I find myself in the rather weird position of assuaging her guilt induced by this f&&king cult and telling her that Jehovah knows everything she?s done, Jesus came for everyone and that she has been a good person all her life, even before becoming a JW. And that Jesus said by their fruits you will recognize them so actually the elders have more to fear since they haven?t been fulfilling their shepherding duties. I try and help her see that she?ll get her reward because Jesus said ?believe in me and you shall be saved?. Considering that I am now agnostic and think that this is all a fairy tale, this felt really, really strange. I am also totally pissed at that idiot elder.
Then I go into how attending three meetings a week is not what makes a true Christian. After all, the Society has been wrong before, right? I mentioned 1975 and the generation doctrine. She nodded. So I said that the only thing that mattered was her relationship with Jehovah and Jesus and that since the Society has been wrong in the past they can?t really tell others what being faithful is and what it isn?t. I?m also wondering whether I should give that b&stard elder a call and ask him what on earth he said.
She calms down eventually and some TV program came on, can?t remember which one, a comedy anyway. I turn it on and she starts watching.
Then I storm upstairs and call Elder Idiot.
?What did you say to my mother? She?s been crying ever since she hung up the phone.?
?Oh no, really? I can?t imagine what I said.?
(To be honest, I don?t think he really did say anything deliberately guilt-inducing, but I have a feeling that just from past conditioning, getting a call from an elder isn?t usually good, which brought on the guilt on my mother?s part. However, my purpose in calling him was twofold)
Me: ?Well, now she?s crying about what Jehovah thinks of her and she can?t do very much anymore.
Elder: ?Oh dear, well of course Jehovah loves her, I only have compassion for someone in her circumstances.?
Me: ?I hope so, I mean, maybe it?s part of the stroke, maybe she doesn?t understand every word properly and took it the wrong way.? (I said this because it?s true, that does happen at times)
Me (again): ?Anyway, if you do visit it?s going to have to be very light and happy, and you?ll need to be very careful what you say and how you say it.?
Elder: ?Yes, of course, but we won?t be going over tonight?
Me: ?Yes, I know that?
Elder: ?And I don?t call very often either?
Me: ?Yes, I know that?
Elder: ?That?s not very good.?
Me: ?Yes, I know.?
Elder: ?Well, I?m very very sorry, please forgive me. I don?t honestly know what I said?
Me: ?Well, I?ll see if I can figure out what happened. And I?ll see about future visits?
I hang up.
Now this may not seem like a big deal, but for me this was a giant step. I would have never ever called up an elder and questioned his activities. I would have been afraid I wasn?t being respectful, that I was not being theocratic, etc. So this was a huge step for me. And amazingly, I didn?t brood over it, or worry it to death (my usual modus operandi). I almost forgot about the conversation during the evening and got busy doing other stuff. And making sure my mother was more or less cheerful.
So, my question to believers: I have no intention of using the NWT, but I thought I?d read some Bible verses to her, probably along the lines of Matthew 11:28-30, etc. Maybe Psalms, but stuff that will take away her WTS induced guilt and help her think that she?s okay in God?s eyes. Since my background is as a JW, I?m not quite sure what I should use. What has helped you? Jesus? blood washing away our sins is fine, but she still thinks she should be getting out there to the Kingdumb hall.
Any ideas will be welcome.