by cappytan 44 Replies latest jw friends
I agree with the sentiments. The conditions JW's put on friendships are unreasonable, unacceptable and prevents them from forming truly close friendships.
However, like EdenOne acknowledged, the idea of a so-called "unconditional friendship" even for non-JW's is more idealistic than realistic.
Good points made Cappy and everyone else...
I tend to use the expression "unconditional friendship" quite often.
I guess my meaning is that REAL friends will allow others an opinion that is different to their own, and that it wouldn't cause an immediate breakdown in that relationship.
True, we would not remain close to someone that showed gross disrespect to us or harmed us.
But a REAL friend would not want everyone to be a CLONE of themselves....or simply be surrounded by YES men that don't have opinions. Real friends are strengthened by the ability to differ in views to one another, yet do so calmly and with dignity.
CappyTan: like EdenOne acknowledged, the idea of a so-called "unconditional friendship" even for non-JW's is more idealistic than realistic
Just as it is with pretty much everythng JWs believe: it's all fantasy.
oubilette:...Just as it is with pretty much everythng JWs believe: it's all fantasy.
It is cult thinking. All or nothing.
Cult thinking is black and white thinking - there is no "grey area".
Forever or not at all. Which doesn't work in real life because life is lived in grey areas and uncertainty. JWs don't 'live'....they exist.
Stuck - you had me up until ..."calmly and with dignity"
Personally, I enjoy loud, passionate debates about nothing with close friends over beer and pizza.
SparrowDown: Personally, I enjoy loud, passionate debates about nothing with close friends over beer and pizza.
Does wine and pasta count?
Yep, "conditional" vs. unconditional friendships is yet another one of those "let's put things into neat little boxes" oversimplifications.
Here is what I state regarding JW friends:
I had many associates, some were OK, most I could live without. It would not matter if any of these folks learned the TTATT. They would not necessarily be a better "friend" because of it.
I had 4 true JW friends. I do not consider any of these "unconditional" or "conditional". The degree of conditional response is the degree to which they are "mind controlled", which really translates into the level of cognitive dissonance they experience ultimately. The greater the CD at a given moment, the more likely they are to respond with a controlled response, since doing anything else would betray their belief system. They cannot help it. If/when they learn TTATT, and are ready to accept it, our relationship will pick up where it left off.
And of course, there is a threshold for what will be tolerated in any relationship. A friend doing your wife obviously crosses that line for both relationships. That is not the same thing as being shunned by JW friends, (although I am not excusing that behavior at all).
d4g
