Is it ok for a man and a woman to live with each other wihout being wed (page 2)

garybuss

Marriage is for the tax free transfer of assets and for the care of the minor children. If neither of these are an issue, then it's just another piece of paper down at the court house. Marriage is the only contract in the United States that two people can enter into on their own but can't dissolve on their own. All terminations of the marriage lease agreement has to be done by the courts.

Satans little helper

well I got married in september after living with Clare for 2 years. The reason we got married now was two fold - 1) we want to emigrate to Australia and it's easier if we are married and 2) we are going to start a family and i personally think it gives the kids a bit more stability.

I've been in 2 long term relationships where I lived with women for 5 years each and we didn't feel the need to formalise things, today it's only as important as you make it.

It is only a piece of paper, but that piece of paper represents a promise you made to a person you love. A promise to stick by them through all the shit, to share all the good stuff and to be there when you both get old and wrinkly. The promise is what is worth something, not the bit of paper. Sod the 'in the presence of god' crap, it's all about that moment when you promise to stand by your other half come what may.

worldlygirl

Just a little piece of useless trivia --- in North Carolina where I live, there is actually a law on the books (antiquated) that states if a man and woman go to a hotel, misrepresent themselves and register as husband and wife, then technically they are married and must file for a divorce if they no longer want to be married (which requires a one-year waiting period in this state as well as equitable distribution of assets!!) However, common-law marriage is NOT recognized in the state. So, I guess it depends on where you "do it."

Nosferatu

I'm with Doubtfully Yours on this one. Marriage eliminates the option of the easy way out. If anything, it helps people work to make the relationship work. They entered into it, they should try and make it work. One person cannot get up, leave, forget the whole thing and start out new with no problems when you've got that piece of paper.

That's why if you're going to get married, you'd better be pretty damn sure and serious about the whole thing. However, if you're not too serious about the whole thing, sure, shack up.

funkyderek

Come now, you for sure know the Biblical and logical answer to that one.

There are very few things that are both Biblical and logical. But where exactly does the Bible prohibit unmarried people living together?

Statistically speaking, those types of union don't work out well.

Can you provide a source for those statistics? What percentage of "those types of union don't work out well" compared to marriage? Do you consider such a relationship a failure if both parties amicably decide to separate with no hard feelings? Do you consider a marriage a success if one or both parties is miserable each and every day until they die?

First feelings get intense, then the 'no commitment' thing gets in the way and last there's an explosion resulting in each individual going their separate ways.

A lot of marriages fail and a lot of unmarried couples have long happy relationships. Making up scenarios like the above doesn't prove anything.

And, yes, there are plenty of excuses for shacking up without a piece of paper.

Yes, the best one is that consenting adults are entitled to do whatever they want.

However, statistics show the woman gets short end of the stick every time!

Every time? Again, what is your source for these statistics? And how exactly do you define the "short end of the stick"?

Commitment is definitely better. Yes, definitely!

Why is an enforced commitment better than a voluntary one? Why should I need the approval of the state and/or a church to dissolve an interpersonal relationship?

searcher

Come now, you for sure know the Biblical and logical answer to that one.

*bold mine

Please show me, from the bible, using any version you wish, exactly what a man and woman have to do (the ceremony, the act, whatever) that makes them married.

Abaddon

We don?t need no piece of paper
From the city hall
Keeping us tied and true
My old man
Keeping away my blues

Joni Mitchell, My Old Man, off the album Blue (1971).

Statistically speaking, those types of union don't work out well. First feelings get intense, then the 'no commitment' thing gets in the way and last there's an explosion resulting in each individual going their separate ways.

Yes, marriage really works better...

... not. Actually, as people who live together aren't always making any claims about 'forever', one can say marriage is less succesful than living together, as it is less succsful in reaching it's aims than living together.

And, yes, there are plenty of excuses for shacking up without a piece of paper. However, statistics show the woman gets short end of the stick every time!

Englishman

I believe that Mercans can jump over a broomstick.

Englishman.

gitasatsangha

strangely enough I remember a talk where a comment was made that "jumping over a broomstick" would be an innapropriate act to perform during the ceremony. They didn't site pagan origin or anything, just that it was a worldly custom. (As are wedding rings, wedding dresses, $500 cake, etc.)

I suppose this was another way of making sure that African-American witnesses practised the proper degree of cultural self loathing to satisfy the elders.

greatteacher

Yes, it's fine, no explanation is necessary; do it if you want to, don't let the religious fanatics influence you!

Is it ok for a man and a woman to live with each other wihout being wed

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