You Knew The Score!

by Englishman 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    Many years after I was DF'd, I found myself at the end of a shunning campaign led by a robotic JW neighbour.

    The neighbour had moved in next door to me. He'd even borrowed some tools of mine before he discovered that I was an ex. At this point he began a serious "I'm ignoring you" strategy which I found utterly hilarious as he was the one who had chosen to move in next door to me. Ah well.

    However, one day whilst out in the back garden, I decided to give him an earful which I duly delivered across the boundary fence. His response was simply: "You knew the score when you decided to leave Jehovah's organisation". Hmm.

    Now, he was actually 100% correct in his assessment. I did know the score when I left the organisation, I did know that I would be shunned.

    But! But but but!

    I didn't know the score when I joined! Furthermore, as my own parents had made the choice for me as a 8 years old child I wouldn't have been listened to, had I objected. (I did object, very strongly as it happens and was told that my protestations about going to meetings meant that I was the mouth piece of Satan. Scary!).

    So I just wonder how many JW's would have actually got as far as those baptism vows if they had any idea just what they were letting themselves in for.

    Shunning, paedophiles, the UN farce, avoiding a daughters wedding, etc etc. Something tells me that if baptism candidates knew what was going to happen to them a year or two down the line, a lot of people here would have decided to give the whole thing a miss.

    They would never have joined in the first place if they had known the score!

    Englishman.

  • Fe2O3Girl
    Fe2O3Girl

    Well..........

    I did know the score when I got baptised. I was fully aware of what I was committing to. But was I really emotionally mature enough to make that commitment? Obviously not.

    In any case, when you have been raised as a JW from birth, you don't have the benefit of seeing both sides. I was incapable of making any other decision, so was that a choice?

    Personally, I am glad to have been df'd and shunned. Without being cut off like that, I'd still be clinging on to what I'd known, instead of finding all the wonder in life I had never seen.

  • Satans little helper
    Satans little helper

    I was 16 when I was dunked and fully knew the score. I also knew i would be caught out and df'd before too long although I did have the courtesy to stop smoking for the two weeks before my baptism. As it happened it was two years before I got to the point where I didn't care any more and handed them my dfing on a plate when I met my first real girlfriend.

    Was I mature enough to make the decision, probably. Did I actually dedicate myself, no. Was I doing it for show, obviously.

  • Brummie
    Brummie

    Good post.

    I kinda new the score too when it came to shunning those who leave, had done it before I got baptised. However, the thing is we never really think it will happen to us and couldnt concieve being outside the org so we dive in and get baptised anyway.Believing it is Gods organisation is enough to make one get baptised. Until dissing happens to someone very close to you or yourself you only have a head knowledge about it and dont really understand or empathise with those who have been dissed, nothing is heartfelt.

    What we didnt know the score about was the false prophecies, lies, lifetaking errors, cruelty and all these things that would eventually make us want to leave.

  • chester
    chester

    What we didnt know the score about was the false prophecies, lies, lifetaking errors, cruelty and all these things that would eventually make us want to leave.

    Brummie,

    You said that perfectly.

    I would like to add that I was very surprised at the lack of love because I was love bombed for years before I joined.

  • think41self
    think41self

    I was 15 when I was baptized, after having been raised as a JW. All of my extended family were JW's. Did I KNOW I would be shunned to hell and back again if I were ever df'd? Yes. Did I really understand what I was doing? Of course not.

    Did my parents allow me to date at the tender age of 15? No, they didn't consider me mature enough. Would they have let me marry at that age? Same answer. I couldn't even drive a car by myself, nor did I have a job...but I could "dedicate MY LIFE to Jehovah." Something does not compute.

    I too am glad for the shunning actually. It made me open my eyes to all the lies and dysfunction of that religion. Otherwise, I too may have clung to it for years. I'm glad for my freedom.

    Tracy

  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    There is no way I would have got baptized if I had known the score

  • shera
    shera

    I knew what would happen to me when I DA,thats one reason why I DA,to get them out of my face.

    Like I have said many times,I was not at risk of loosing family,so it was easy for me.Many young people,probaly donot realize what would "fully" happen,when getting the dunk at a young age.

    What we didnt know the score about was the false prophecies, lies, lifetaking errors, cruelty and all these things that would eventually make us want to leave.
    Yep!
  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    Brummie's right...we didn't know the score that would make us want to leave because of the "love-bombing" on entrance....

    Frannie B

  • Stacy Smith
    Stacy Smith

    Exactly the love bombing clouds your judgement.

    My parents had no idea that they would be shunned if they walked away. They thought they'd be shunned if they got DFed and as a happily married couple with no bad habits they never gave that aspect a second thought.

    When they got baptised and the love bombing got cut short they began to see what it was really like in there. That's the main reason they didn't rush me into getting baptised. Especially since they knew I'd be DFed as a teen.

    I've said this before on this site but I love how my parents handle the shunning. Whever they see an old dub friend they approach them with big smiles and hugs, tell them how they should come over for dinner and it's all happy times. Some dubs respond kindly but many treat them as though they are lepers. My dad is really good at this.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit