Leslie have you read "Crises of Conscience" by Governing Body member Ray Franz ? ,(He also disassociated). If not please, please obtain a copy asap. I think it will clear so much up for you.
Watchtower directs the elders to have no compassion to those who are different in any way. They make no allowances for the sick, the elderly, those with differences of neurological development or depression etc It's just incredibly unloving. I'm very sorry for your situation.