They finally called me (rant)

freelife

This weekend the man who is supposed to be my father finally called me. He did not call me to make up for cutting me out of the family, but to tell me that he is going to have back surgery for two crushed disks. Now i don't mean to sound like a jackass, but if you don't want anything to do with me or my Fiancee and her son, why should i give a rats ass about you and you life problems. You don't call me for months you don't show any sort of affection for us why should we care? If we show up to the hospital we will get the cold shoulder from any JW friends you have there. You made the choice of cutting me off, not me. LIve with your choices and don't drag me in when you want me to feel sorry for you. You have your other "Obedient" childern to give you sympathy don't call me to get it here.

Of course i did not say these things to him but it is what was immediately going through my head after i got off the phone with him. I have a real hard time telling them my feelings. Anyway i just needed to vent so thanks for letting me do that.

Clint

seattleniceguy

Sorry to hear about that, freelife. Is it possible that your dad has been wanting to call you and this situation provided a valid excuse? My mom did that a couple weeks ago when we had a very heavy snowfall. She called to ask if I was okay. Since I was, the "emergency situation" excuse was no longer valid, and she had to excuse herself shortly. It's clear she was conflicted, but I appreciated that she wanted to talk to me.

Just a thought.

SNG

Satans little helper

freelife I am completely with you.

It's possible that he was looking for an excuse to call you and see how you are but if that's the case he should put aside the WT shite and call you. It's also possible that he's just looking for attention in a self centred 'you are still the black sheep but I will let you express your sympathy for me' sort of way.

Maverick

One of the things I love about computers is that I can type out a letter, put it in a file and tweak it for weeks if I want. After reading you post I think you should do this. Write a letter to your dad. Use your post here as a base. Clean it up, keep it simple and tell him how you feel. I find that when I have issues with someone, once I write it out and refine my feelings in print, the pain and hurt leave me! You owe this to yourself and your family. Write it out, send it to your dad and promise not to do anything like the things he did to you to your children. And you will be at peace. Maverick

Country_Woman

I found out that - when something serious is coming up - sometimes people reconsider their relatives.
Maybe this was the way your father wanted to let you know that ge cares about you and want better relations ?
Maybe it was just a hand reaching out ?

95stormfront

sometimes people reconsider their relatives.
Maybe this was the way your father wanted to let you know that ge cares about you and want better relations ?
Maybe it was just a hand reaching out ?

Riiight........

Especialy in view that he knows he'll probably be a burden on his "friends" for quite awhile should things go wrong. Better reconcile with as many people as you can.....you never know if it may be one of the very ones you've turned your back on you'll have to depend uponfor your long term care when those "friends" can't be bothered with you getting in the way of their meeting attendance and field service.

simplesally

I think he probably had a valid 'excuse' to call you. I know that some parents are very strict when it comes to following the rules and will take every opportunity they can to speak with you.......... of course, when there is family business, a health issue or an emergency situation.

garybuss

Freelife, That's my attitude as well. They took personal action for business reasons. That's not okay with me. They decided when it all started, but I get to decide when it all ends and I make the rules for my own life. If they start to shun me, they had better be serious because it's for life. I think a hard line with these jerks, is the only line. Best wishes, GaryB

Satans little helper

tell him to sod off.

Just a few days after I got engaged (and told my father) he called me and asked where his anniversary present was, which was odd considering the fact that I think I have probably bought them 2 anniversary cards in 14 years. I don't think he appreciated it when I told him the card was in the same postal void that had engulfed the congratulations card he had sent me for my engagement.

edited to add: He chose to shun you, now things are going wrong for him why should you give him the time of day?

Sassy

I understand how you feel Clint. Sometimes in their obedience to the WTS, they shun as instructed, even if their heart might tell them different.. I would like to hope that those who do shun.. do so because they think it is encouraging our return, a tough love persay, rather than a shunning from the heart.. I know my mom no longer talks to me, and yet I also know she thinks about me every day probably with tears, hoping for my return..

but of course the outcome is the same.. except under dire conditions, if they want to stay in good favor, they must avoid all contact with us.. Which is why they do call when something comes up like that.. their conscience is allowed to contact you without guilt.. if they didn't care at all, I dont' think they would contact..

ON the other hand, it doesn't mean that we have to play by their rules. It was their choice to agree to the shunning.. and our feelings are involved when they do.. My sister has been dealing with the shunning since she was 14 (except for when mom was dfd herself.. they they did stuff together).. When mom came back in and got married to a "now" MS.. the shunning really came to new heights.. Mom totally cut her off..(except of course if something major were to happen).. Well something did.. My sister thought she had cancer. She told me about it (I never shunned her even when I was an active JW) but she told me not to tell mom. She said to her, if she didn't have her the rest of the life, why does she think she earned the right to be a part of her life now.. One day I got upset and told my mom (after we had found out she was ok).. I really lit into her about how my sister, her daughter needed her, but her actions had ruined that.. She felt bad.. actually relaxed a little FOR A WHILE..

They finally called me (rant)

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