They finally called me (rant) (page 2)

Mulan

I am not sure about this one. I see it as he is reaching out to you. I would give him a chance. You don't know where his head is.

When I learned the real truth, back in 1995, it took me 4 months before I called my disfellowshipped brother, who lives right here. I just had gotten so used to not thinking about him at all (16 years) that suddenly it occurred to me that I can talk to my brother now. It all turned out wonderfully well, and immediately we reconnected and never looked back.

Anyway, just my two cents.

Sentinel

I tend to agree with Mulan. If a relationship is ever to be had at all, there has to be someone who makes some initial connection. He has done this.

The important thing I think, is that you have been hurt, and he knows this. If you can give him a chance, by showing him that you are loving and compassionate, then it could give you a great deal of peace to resolve these outstanding issues between you.

People do change.

/<

95stormfront

I tend to agree with Mulan. If a relationship is ever to be had at all, there has to be someone who makes some initial connection. He has done this.

But what of his motives? Being in the hospital.....not feeling well......perhaps wanting a little company and companionship from everyone till he gets back on his feet only to start shunning again after you've again opened your heart to him?

At what point do you say "to hell with this, I'm not going to let them hurt me again?"

freelife

I can agree with the thinking that he is looking for an excuse to try to talk with me because he is missing me, but i would still like to think that i am more important to him more than when he only wants or needs my support. But to me I should be his son no matter what. I would personally rather not have any more contact with my parental units if they are going to just drop back out of my life until their next crisis in life. I was just starting to get a good handle on the fact that my family was no longer my family anymore. Now this is dregging up feelings that i worked very hard to get rid of. It's kinda sad but they are almost non-existant to me now so i have a hard time feeling compation for them.

Clint

Gopher

Clint,

I can relate to this parental shunning. I sent a newsy letter to my folks last summer, and asked them to please tell me how they are doing.

And what have I heard back from them? Nothing.

It's hard to have so-called-family people jerk you back into their life whenever they feel like it. Either they love you and will show it, or they don't. I really don't think there is any middle ground, especially when it comes to family relationships.

It would take more than one little act on their part to convince me that my parents have changed. They'd have to implore me a few times (as I did with them up until this past summer) to convince me that they really want something approaching a normal relationship, and even then I'd be cautious.

Because...you know they could get another Kingdom Ministry article warning them of associating with ex-JW family members, and then your relationship would again be toast. It's all so temporary and conditional.

Why let your heart continually be broken?

johnny cip

hi clint; iv'e looked at both side of this thread , and feel both ways. this may sound over board to you, but see what you think. i would write out a written letter to you dad , saying that if he want's your affections and love, from now on in. that no dictates from the wts will , hinder your relationship between parent and child. and make him sign it and noterized right in from of him with two copies. if he refuses then his loyality is to the wts and their legal ways. my two cents. dealing with a legalistic corp. best of wishes . john

garybuss

They are users. They used us to raise money and pedal books, then they used us by shunning us so they could take the high ground, they used us by dividing us from our children, and now they want to use us again. They know if they are sick, we are vulnerable. It's the funeral mentality. Sorry for all who are dealing with this awful situation. It's a real double bind . . .no real good choices. GaryB

CountryGuy

Clint,

As I read posts like yours on the board, I realize how lucky I am that my folks have left the dubs, too. I can not even fathom their not being a part of my life. I do know that if they were still in, they would be shunning me right now. Even the thought of that makes me so sad, AND so angry at the WBTS for putting families, like yours, through this complete and utter crap!

I can understand where your anger comes from, and it is very valid. But if I were in your situation, I would test the waters. Start off with a phone call to check on him. If your father is wanting to 'reconnect' with you and is using this as one of the WBTS' "valid excuses," you'll be able to tell. If you make this attempt, and nothing happens, you will at least know that you tried. However, if you make this attempt and you do reconnect, you'll have your father back.

I don't even pretend to know your situation, so what I've suggested my not apply to you at all. Above all, you should do what is going to make you the happiest.

CountryGuy

They finally called me (rant)

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