Break through !

by Puternut 30 Replies latest jw friends

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  Puternut

  To let you all know, my oldest is 19 and my youngest is 16. All through out our lives, we were closer than they were with my ex. We did EVERYTHING together. We rode bicycles, hiked, spend wee hours into the night playing video games, played rough, we sailed my catamaran. While my ex was watching Oprah and Dr.Phil or in bed.

  I feel like suing the elder body, for talking bad about me. Same goes for the wife, since she is by law not to make any disperaging remarks about me, to the kids, or in front of the kids. But since I have a little victory, and time with my children is more important than waisting anymore money on the court system and lawyers, I'll see how things go for now. But I feel powerful with some papers in my hands. And though I know the kids will feel a little uneasy at first, because it goes against what they believe, I am going to be persistent in the visits. In time they will see that their df'd daddy is not as bad as the organization makes me out to be. It seems like the organization automatically labels df's with bad people. I am still who I am, personality and all. DF me all you want, but that doesn't change me as an individual !
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  stillajwexelder

  A horrible story with a happy end -- I am pleased for you and hope all continues to improve for you
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  Emma

  What wonderful news! Congratulations!

  If it feels like you need support down the road, you might see a family therapist to see how to best support your kids. Sometimes family court can even recommend someone. It can help to have someone interested in the kids to help sort things out.

  Again, congratulations!

  Emma
• 

  Will Power

  Congratulations.

  Being a parent, I know how devastating it would be to be cut off, and what it would mean to have them come back on their own. Kids aren't stupid, they sure know unconditional love when they see it & feel it....esp 1st hand.

  that is a happy day! No gifts needed!

  WP
• 

  orangefatcat

  Way to go Puternut. You stood your ground and won. It s great that your older daughter felt she could go and visit u in your studio.

  I just want you to know that the last statement you made:

  It seems like the organization automatically labels df's with bad people. I am still who I am, personality and all. DF me all you want, but that doesn't change me as an individual .

  Those words are so true. You are who you are and nothing has changed your still the same person and the same quailities.You didn't go through any major metemorphisis. I don't know I think the WT thinks they beat us up, but in the long run we are not beaten but are winners and I think that is what pisses them off big time. The only thing they did was difellowship you. YOU are still YOU.

  and regarding the legal case you said that the society can't disfellowship you from your family and children ? Legally they are your kids and the Society can't do diddly squat about it.

  Hang in there and all the best to you and the girls . Puternut be Proud of yourself, your a good man and father.

  Love Orangefatcat. .
  
  
  
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  Puternut

  XJW_B12

  Just a word of caution. My wife works in Family Law, and you would not believe the hi-jinks that the parent with custody rights, will go through to deny the parent with visitation rights, the alloted visits. JWs are worse, because they consider they are on a mission from God.

  I'll ask her to post later, but be prepared. It is a victory, but there may be more battles to follow.

  Please let me know as soon as possible, I want to prepare myself for everything that I need to anticipate. My children are at stake.

  Thanks in advance,

  Puternut
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  Waymores Ghost

  Atta Boy!

  I'm sure it must have done your daughter a world of good to be with you too.

  Wg
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  bebu

  puternut,

  Your news makes my day! I think that since your older daughter is 19, wouldn't it be harder for the courts to order to visit you or not? And if not, it seems to me that you really got a great victory over them when she walked in that door on her own accord!

  "Love never fails." (1 Cor 13) That's what your news reminds me of.

  bebu
• 

  magnolia

  Puternut!

  That is so WONDERFUL! CONGRATULATIONS! I know that has helped you through some difficult times.....things are looking up! EXCELLENT!
• 

  Sassy

  The one thing about kids.. is they do have their own mind. They can be blinded for a while by the manipulation of others, but you are still a part of them and something they can't take away from you or them. When the father of my children and I divorced, he attempted to take my children away from me by manipulation. He managed to succeed for a time. I literally lost my kids and I thought forever. I didn't fight in the courts to make the visits happen only because I thought if I made them have to see me, they might get the wrong idea. Instead I wantd my kids to know that I loved them and my door was open for them any day, not just because it was a visiting day, or because they had to, but because they wanted to. In concept it sounded like a good idea. It turned out to be a huge mistake that I will regret forever. Everyone I know told me they would come around one day. Well two of the three are now. I haven't seen them for 3 yrs. I can't tell you how happy I am to have them back in my life. I never thought I'd see the day.

  I think it is a good message that you are sending the kids by fighting with the courts. It tells the kids you love them enough to fight for them. I wish I had looked at it that way when I made my choices. Children need to be reminded of our love constantly, or the others in their life will keep reminding them different. I totally respect what you are doing to keep your children in your life. Going to keep thinking positive thoughts for you and for them!