by Will Power 25 Replies latest jw friends
How would a JW put in order of importance, priority, loyalty
Would the list on paper be different than that actually practiced?
Jehovah
Jesus
Watchtower Bible & Tract Society
The Governing Body
Pleasing Elder(s)
Pleasing your Mother/Father
non-jw Children
Marriage
Wife
non JW Wife
acceptance by congregation
Widows & orphans
Your own salvation
I am Not a JW - married 20 yrs to a brand new JW and am being constantly told that joining this club is being done for us & our relationship.
will
Oh, Will, ........Run and don't look back. My husband and I were in for our whole lives ( well, we're only 30, and 32 respectively) but we were "born into it". Your priority list would be different for everyone, unless it was to be turned in at the Kingdom Hall. Read the horror stories here about where THEIR priorities lie. Read the sections on experiences. Whether you get involved with them is of course your choice and your ultimate decision but don't make it hastily. The deeper you become indoctrinated, the harder it is to leave. There is an unwritten rulebook of a thousand pages of dos and don'ts. If your wife is new then she's receiving the shower of niceties that will soon end. At this point, you can get her out and get away from it.
(((((Will)))))
I'm truly sorry your wife found it necessary to join that cult. I truly am sorry. Your life will not be the same any more. See, the thing with that religion is, she is not using her own mind any more. The organization, the elders, other sisters, the Watchtower are all telling her what she "should" be doing ... and what she does from here on in will never be quite "good enough"....
It is a religion of fear ... yes ~~ FEAR ... From now on she is going to fear Jehovah, fear the elders, fear the demons, fear Armageddon, and on and on it goes. On Saturday mornings she will be going out in service instead of sleeping in with you or spending time with you. Oh, and did I mention five meetings a week plus special days of service and other "special meetings"....? Oh, and personal study with a yellow hi-lighter in the Watchtower and other various books and publications, with or without the bible.
From now on she is going to be trying to convert you, saying things like you "should" be doing this and you "should" be doing that. She first loves Jehbooger, she loves the congregation of ummmm "friends" ... she will be inviting you to the meetings, to social events, to the Memorial, to conventions, hoping you will somehow be absorbed into her world of dubisms. She wants to "fix" you ... because you aren't "good enough" anymore, either. She will try to be the perfect j-dub and she will expect you to be a perfect husband from here on in, too.
And from now on she is going to keep track of all the time she spends talking with you about ummm ... the Bible ... and write it on a time slip at the end of the month.
Ughhhh!!! I'm soooo sorry ...
ESTEE
I don't think it they would use an "A,B,C..." order for those. More mathematical like sets and subsets. Maybe even more like computer code.
Estee put it perfectly. ....You in deep do do pal! Maverick
I don't know about the other points but their personal salvation comes first whether they admit it to others and themselves. Paradsie before vindicating God's sovereignty.
And Will, she will be "encouraged" to put you second to the WTS, the elders, and any other human authority in the organization.
Blondie
Will Power, you have my profound sympathy. You have been married to this man for 20 years, now you and your non-JW children will be far below the Watchtower society.
Protect your children, so they don't catch the "disease". How do they feel about the situation?
Only you will know if you are miserable enough, or your kids are unhappy enough, to end this marriage. I really believe that decisions like that can't be taken lightly. However, if you are horribly unhappybecause of how he has changed your lives, and you can't see any improvement in the future, it is time to make positive steps.
The Watchtower will be the mistress in your marriage.
will - You said you've been married 20 years, and your wife is a new JW - is she now baptised, or is she studying? If she is baptised, and you're just now starting to have questions - where have you been? I mean, it takes several months of intense indoctrination to become 'an eligible candidate' for baptism.....?
Everything Estee said - DITTO & add: the "don'ts" will overcome the "dos" with phrases like these: 'the public talk brought out that we shouldn't..., 'the Watchtower says we can't', 'Sister So&So said the Bible says we're not allowed...', 'we're taught that JW's don't'... A protection against 'worldly people' - which you are - if you're not one of them...
This must be the 'club' you're talking about! 
The simple God-given principles of marriage are fine and pure - it is a sacred unity, instituted by a loving Father. Much is written in the mags about the Bible standards of love, respect, honesty, understanding, loyalty, patience, and trust between mates. It sounds perfect on the 'outside', but the longer you're 'in' the more you learn how they've added and added to the already perfect Word of God - even make it seem like God changes His mind from time to time...oops, then changes it back! The simple and true meaning of unselfish love is lost - squashed under a ton of man-made regulations and restrictions. It's amazing how they come up with the reasonings - they make you believe it - and try to make you like it! I was apalled to learn, well after I was baptised, that there are many rules about where, when, and how you may or may not put your hands, mouths, body parts, etc. - on, in or near your wife/husband - in the privacy of your own bedroom......and a member can be disfellowshipped or disassociated by not following the letter of their laws. If it's divulged that you're not 'towing the line', prepare to be dragged before an inquisition[council of elders] about the details of your most private sex life. Whoa! Does that get your attention? That's just the tip of the iceberg, man....and you're the Titanic.... A friend of mine was 'counseled' that she could 'scripturally divorce' her husband[15 yrs.-4 kids] because he made it difficult for her to attend all the meetings. [He was tired of going without dinner, and really missed spending time with her and the kids...] I hope something gets your attention, and I hope it's not too late.....
You need to read, read, read - get on the web and read everything. Type in 'Jehovah's Witnesses' or 'religious cults' in your search bar - I hope you're totally freaked by what you find --- everyone is! Share everything with your wife in an honest and loving way - discuss everything openly. Before you're sucked in is the only time you're allowed to have a choice, or question, doubt, or disagree about anything. Question it ALL - it's your LIVES. One more thing - wanna complicate things 100-fold? Have children, hopefully not one with a blood disorder. Read the horror stories for yourselves, please?
You'll both be in my prayers today..................Love and Peace, peacebaby
Thank you all for your replies - their seems to be a bit of gender confusion here. "not that there is anything wrong with that"
I made the list to show how, I, as a wife & a non-JW, rate in the life of my husband as I see & feel it. I could be over-reacting of course, but I don't think so. Everything, life decisions, holiday plans, etc are now done without my input, and behind by back - since I might be against it, so obviously justified in their eyes. duh.
Blondie - you see exactly - their own salvation is what motivates their decisions - no matter how it affects their family. This might be what the bible says to some degree but their is something wrong with the WT tactics.
Concerned Mama - we have spoken, so I know you understand my plight. It is a long road with many hills & valleys.
Peace - I have been reasearching & reading for over 4 years now. So much so that I feel like I was "in" and have now come out. This board has been a life saver - a few of my close family are just starting to understand the vicious circle of the WT that the JWs call true worship. The spritiual abuse is real and alive and deadly.
Will Power -
Sorry for my confusion, I realized that.
It will be harder for you Will Power, because you are a woman, and your husband does not have to acknowledge any headship on your part, non-JW or otherwise. But they don't have to be secretive about it.
I can remember a man in my old congregation whose wife was not a JW. Everyone thought she was persecuting him just because she didn't share his religious beliefs. Actually, she was very helpful getting the children ready, having dinner on time on meeting nights, helping him pick out his clothes. She did chores at home and visited her mother on those evenings. JWs tend to demonize non-JW spouses. She would go along for the assemblies, finding something to do during the day, visiting family or friends, shopping, etc. She would entertain his friends from the KH making a nice dinner, cleaning the house. But on Sundays she went to her church taking the kids with her and he took them to the KH in the afternoon.
If you want to PM, feel free.
Blondie
