Hello Lucia. Welcome back.
I had to go to Google, to figure out where Togo was.
Is there a web site, we could go to, that you recommend, that would show us more about where you live? The official Togo site is in French.
Take care.
I'm lonely
by fader 22 Replies latest jw friends
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Sassy
Hi fader. I hope you are feeling better. The one nice thing about a discussion board is we don't all have to be awake at the same time. We can read and post where ever we are and then when others wake up, they read our messages.. so really we are never alone.. just a chain in a stream of time and friends..
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outnfree
Fader,
You must have a very interesting (official? diplomatic?) job! Uganda and now Togo! With children in tow!
Africa sort of scares me, as a vacation destination. So much graft and unrest. And, I'm sorry that your duties included such gruesome work. :( That's still preying on your mind, obviously.
On the other hand, the continent must be fascinating. While it might not be acceptable to speak about what you're doing now in Togo, perhaps you could tell us a bit about Burundi (even the disaster part, if it would help to get it out)?
outnfree
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Sentinel
Hi There,
No doubt that pit of loneliness is with you no matter how much is going on around you. That is probably because you have reached a crossroads in life and so much of your foundation has collasped and there is this big empty hole, with not much in it right now.
It's all right to be lonely. There can be much good in the quietness of reflection, and even the pain of reality. Change is never easy, but change is rarely bad. Take it one day at a time and come here for a hug or comforting word. We are your friends!
/<
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Joker10
Please tell us if your job is worth it. I mean do you really enjoy living in Togo?
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Eyebrow2
Fader...I hear you...even when you have a busy job and a family everyone will definately get lonely once in a while. Is your husband with you on Togo as well?
Congrats on the future newcome in your family;....I wish you a smooth and gentle pregnancy.
It sounds like the island is beautiful. How old are your kids, and what do they like to do?
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Puternut
Sorry to hear you're lonely fader, in Togo. Maybe liven things up a bit and have a togo party? :P
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fader
Hey ya'll! Thanks for the messages.
Looks like you already found a good site for Togo (lonely planet is premiere amongst travel sites). I'll try and remember everything you guys asked:
Work: Yes, I work for the US government. The pay is pretty good, free housing, free schooling for the kids, no utilities, etc. Housing is great, we live in a five bedroom villa I could never afford back home. Togo is an interesting place to live, as there is so much potential in this country for a real transition to democracy, if only the old demagogue would realize how much he is hurting his country by sticking around. EU has pulled aid for Togo, and the USG doesn't have any significant programs here, no USAID, but a large Peace Corps contingent.
Benin: The plane crash traumatized me. As it stands, I already hated flying, and seeing the aftermath of a crash was horrible. It's impossible to describe the smells and sounds etc. Basically, the crash happened on December 25 in the afternoon. That evening I received a call from Washington informing me that it appeared there were Amcits on board. The consular officer in benin was on leave, so they needed someone to go out there and help out. So the next morning I drove out (it's about 2.5 hours from Lome to Cotonou). When I arrived I started the rounds of the morgues, armed with pictures of a woman and two children (who were residents in Togo and the wife and children of an American). I found the girl that afternoon, and the boy washed up that evening. Identifying bodies was horrible, many had started to decompose or were mangled from the crash. There was no organization, so basically I had to go to every morgue around (6 I think) and ask to view the bodies of all women and children. I actually found the woman that day as well but because her body was severely injured, friends and family were unable to identify her. A forensic specialist flew in from Lebanon on Monday (most of the passengers on board were Lebanese) and confirmed my initial ID. I id'd the girl based on the photo, the boy based on a birthmark and the woman based on hair color, length and stature. There were also a couple other passengers on board we suspected were Amcits and had to treat as such until we could confirm their status.
The worst part about it was dealing with the father, the Amcit who was in Lome during the crash. I broke the news to him each time I found one of his family members, and watched him just dissolve into sobs. Here was a man who 24 hours before was a father and husband and twenty fours later was a widower with two dead children.
I really love my job, and I realize how lucky I am to be able to do some of the things I do. I'm an incredibly lucky person because I have a great family and a husband that treats me very well. I just occasionally get lonely, because I'm so far away and because I don't relate well to many people. Being raised as a witness places you at certain distinct disadvantages, unfortunately.
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fader
BZ,
I would love to chat. I'm at work (on a Saturday, I know!!) and will be aruond for a while. I'll pop into chat and see if I run into you there.
fader