I guess it's my turn to sit on the sidelines and watch in frustration.

TheSilence

It has happened... my sister is pregnant... and I have very mixed emotions about it.

I am so happy for her, I know they've been trying for a while and it's what she really wants. It will make her happy. And I love my nieces and nephews, I know I will love her child just as much. I will spoil the kid rotten and get to be the favorite aunt and I will love every minute of it. I will take him/her to the zoo and the science center, amusement parks and the magic house... all kinds of outings that I do with my other nieces and nephews every summer.

However, this will be the first niece or nephew I have to watch be raised as a jehovah's witness... and I think it will kill me. I know it was very difficult for my aunts and uncles to watch us raised that way and they didn't really even understand all the effects it was having on us.

And there's nothing I can say or do to change it. Nothing. I just have to sit back and watch this person I will love with all my heart be brainwashed and live his/her life in fear of the outside world. Every Christmas when I'm shopping for my other nieces and nephews it will kill me not to be buying presents for my sister's child as well.

I will worry about whether or not they have nightmares of God trying to kill them at Armagedon like I did.

This religion just sucks. It really does. Innocent children should not be subjected to brainwashing and have their childhood stolen from them to preach lies to strangers. Kids should be allowed to be kids, join sports, have friends and sleepovers, be excited on Christmas morning, attend school without having to be some perfect example of their faith for the other students.

Just one more thing this cult has taken from me... the ability to be purely happy for my sister and a new life.

Jackie

darkuncle29

I'm sorry for your frustration, I don't blame you. All you can do is love that little person as much as you can.

techton

I've taken matters in my own hands...my granson is 8, and I talk to him all the time about thinking for himself...my daughter and I discuss how these 2 kids (baby granddaughter 15 mons. old) can best be shielded from the hatred

Strawberryfieldsforever

Oh I feel for you......

Yes, the religion makes little children afraid.....like I was. It's got to be so hard to watch. I don't have any brothers and sisters who have children, but I can understand how you must be feeling. Don't you just wish you could close your eyes and make a wish and change things? Oh...how easy things would be then. Love that little one and show extra special attention. They will remember that......my thoughts are with you,

sincerely,

Strawberryfieldsforever

TheSilence

Thanks for the notes, guys. It'll be okay, I've resigned myself to keeping my mouth shut and just being a great aunt that they know they can count on if they ever have doubts.

;)

Jackie

JamesThomas

Dear Jackie, Your frustration is certainly understandable. However there is more to life than meets the eye. The normal way we live is in the waves and ripples of our turbulent life situations and frustrations. This is so common it is thought to be the only place one can be. Deeper within our being resides an unmoving wholeness and peace. It is more who we are than the storms. Find this, be this, and when you are with others such as your little nieces and nephews they will feel it. They will come to see the stark contrast between a dark and fearful religious life -- and the warm sweet brightness of you. You will help set them free without saying a word, just by the silence of your presence. j

freedom96

Just make sure the child knows that one does not have to be a witness to be an outstanding person in life.

AlanF

I understand your frustration completely. However, as the kid grows older there's plenty you can do in a subtle way to derail the brainwashing. Just throw out comments at appropriate times, in an offhanded but straightforward way, that you know will conflict with nonsensical JW teachings.

For example, if you and the kid are watching TV and something about dinosaurs comes up, you can say something like, "Dinosaurs are really cool. Did you know that they lived for more than 150 million years and died out about 65 million years ago?" This conflicts with the traditional JW teaching that animal life has only been around for 20,000 years or so.

The idea is to be casual and enthusiastic about the topic, so that you infect the kid unobtrusively with your enthusiasm. This will lead naturally to his questioning the JW teachings, rather than blindly accepting them.

As people have pointed out, you can play a big part in getting the kid to think for himself, and there's nothing the braindead JW parents can do about it except to cut you off. And if by that time you've developed a good relationship with the kid, that'll be a very bad thing from his point of view, and yet another nail in the JW-mindset coffin.

The basic idea is to give kids alternatives. Kids who are never given alternatives are simply unaware that anything besides JW teaching exists. It's a lot harder to overcome such mental training as a kid grows older, even for the kid himself. I remember when, even as a college student 30 years old, a non-JW uncle commented about my being the only one in a group of JW cousins who went to college, "Good for you! The only smart one in the bunch." That affirmation gave me a lot of encouragement to reject the nasty comments from JW relatives and acquaintances. The same thing will work wonders with young kids.

AlanF

LukeN

concurence.

TheSilence

Hi, everyone,

I know this thread has fallen quite a few pages back... but it's been a crazy week and I haven't had time to reply... and I wanted to make sure you knew I appreciated the feedback. It really is helpful hearing the ideas of people who truly understand the religion.

Allen,

I especially like your idea of making innocent comments that subtley (is that spelled correctly?) make them question JW doctrine. I'm a big fan of outings with the kids during the summer and that might be a good way to do it, too... I love to take them to places like the science center where it's fun but they learn... and there's a wonderfully huge dinosaur right in the middle of it and all kinds of dinosaur books in the gift shop ;)

Anyway, thank you all for your thoughts and ideas, I truly do appreciate them.

Jackie

I guess it's my turn to sit on the sidelines and watch in frustration.

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