He is not quiting the cult

kls

I had high hopes my cult husband was finding his way out of the cult .I asked on a thread what youre thoughts were on him missing meetings. I still don't know why he missed them but it doesn't matter he went back. I know you are supposed to be kind and not fight when they leave but it just came out of my mouth. I told him he is supporting child molesters and that he is a sick----.That is actually the nicest i said , the things that came out even shocked me. I think i had myself fooled with wishful thinking. It hurt so bad when he walked out the door to that mindcontrolling cult. Now what do i do, i am at my end. KLS

Nathan Natas

I told him he is supporting child molesters and that he is a sick----.

Well, I guess you could begin by apologizing to him for grouping him with the child molesters.

The fact is that MOST JWs would never think of molesting a child. The problem is that they're all caught up in Watchtower "group think." Your husband is a victim also (unless he is a molester).

You'll attract more flies with honey than with vinegar, assuming you want to attract flies.

beckyboop

((((((((((((((((((KLS))))))))))))))))))))

While I do not know the details surrounding your husband's meeting attendance, I would like to say this--be patient. When my husband started telling me about the many discrepancies and lies fed to us by the jw's, I immediately threatened him with divorce. He--like yourself--felt frustrated at my unwillingness to listen to him, and asked Randy (from Freeminds) for some guidance in the matter. He told him to be patient, and to encourage me to be myself and to get involved in activities that were outside the jw world.

It took several years, and it worked for me. That said, you may never be the one to get through to him, because he will only be ready in his own time. The most you can do is be yourself, no matter what, and encourage him likewise. Hopefully he'll come around, and that you can move forward in your lives. I do realize though how difficult it must be for you right now, as many others do with family and friends still in. If you are feeling particularly frustrated because of how it affects your marriage, I hope you can find the courage to do what it takes to maintain your happiness.

Becky

JamesThomas

Yes, nothing like a mess a nice flies.....if your a frog. (((KLS))), What is done is done. Being at peace with yourself and not blaming, judging and condeming yourself is important right now. Your sense of peace with yourself will flow over to others. Byron Katie's work may be of some help to you; for her web site click here. She has a way of helping us see it is often our thoughts driving us crazy, not so much other people or events. Peace to you Kls. j

DevonMcBride

Hi KLS. I agree with Becky about being patient. I know many ex-JW's that wavered in and out of going to meetings before leaving altogether. It sounds like he's at the pre-mature stages of opening his eyes.

Devon

Carmel

You are not at your end! Take heart, the katharsis may just shake him up enough to see the light! Your heartfelt response was honest and from the gut. NO regrets! Press on

carmel

Steve Lowry

I couldn't imagine life with a JW mate. I'm afraid I'd have to cut my losses and start over. What could you possibly hope to have in common with a Jehovah's Witness if you weren't one yourself. (Are you a former JW?) I grew up in a split household where my mom was a JW and my dad was an atheist. Its just too much strain on two people to live with one another with such different ideals. Marriage is hard enough with someone you do share the same ideals with, but it?s a train wreck waiting to happen otherwise. If there aren?t children involved then I would seriously considered some alternative possibilities. If there are children, then God help you, you have a tough road ahead of you dear.

Steve

Yerusalyim

This isn't advice, it's a statement...knowing what I know now...I could never stay married to a Dub.

garybuss

If my wife decided to go back and leave me sitting alone at home six days a week, I'd give her a choice. Next time you choose them and leave me sitting here you better have your bags packed cause I'll be at the attorney's office while you are at the meeting.

If you choose them over me, and those are your two choices, that's my proof you want the marriage to end.

gumby

Now what do i do, i am at my end.

I agree 100% with Nathan.

I think you blew it by blowing up. Were you ever a dub? Why were you a dub? Did it take some convincing to get you out? Has your husband had the convincing you have/had?

I also blew up a few time at my dub wife when I first exited. I held in all the things I learned about the dubs until something she said struck a nerve and I couldn't help myself letting her know what a bunch of sick bastards that organisation was. I told her EVERYTHING I could think of against the dubs in my two minute rant. Then I felt like an ass.

I have learned since then that I also thought an acted like a dub for 40 years! "How could I point the finger at someone else for being so stupid"... I asked myself. My dub wife believes in all her heart she has the truth and I don't. I can't be mad at her for that.

Let your hubby do his thing and keep quiet.......the borg is doing a good enough job on their own at exposing themselves. Give it some time if you can and be a good wife to him. ( if he's worth being nice to)

Gumby

He is not quiting the cult

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