Re:Did /Do Elders enjoy power/control (page 2)

Tina

Hi seeker,
You're right we do tend to focus on the negative at times. Especially on emotionally charged topics.

In fairness,there were a few decent men among the elders. Bro PB comes to mind.
What as struggle it must have been for those like him and yourself. Trying to maintain the status quo while keeping personal integrity and fairness. I know men like that tried their best to be helpful and loving. Just weren't enuff of them around my parts. Also seemed like these men burned out rather quickly too. I remember 3 of the best guys ever stepping down in 1 year!! What a loss it was for the cong. Regards,Tina

anglise

Good topic and its nice to see a balance coming out in the latest
replies.
My husband was one of those kind elders, maybe thats why we are no longer in the org.
He wasnt the only one in our area but yes he was in the minority.

He headed cleaning teams at assemblies and got his hands dirty vacuuming and cleaning up vomit, and for doing so was told by other 'cleaning team' elders that he was there to delegate not work. He always did his share and ignored those who strode around trying to look important with clipboards and walkie talkies.

The brothers and sisters in the cong would come to him and talk about their problems because he listened, didnt divulge their confidences and was kind even at times having words with others on the body who had treated the cong in a less than loving way.

Yes I have known him ask another elder (one whom most feared and disliked) out to the back of the hall after a WT and have a little chat with him after his pointed, unkind and unnecessary comments during the study had caused upset to others. (I am sure we all remember elders who used the WT answers as a way of gettimg at people)

He spent hours talking to another brother who was before a JC that he himself was on, trying to get him to see what he had to do to avoid being DF which the other elders wanted (I found all theses things out much later). The brother wasnt DF but it was hard work. (Looking back now we would tell him to run while he could).

My husband never wanted to an elder he just always does things to the best of his ability. He hated being in front on the platform and the idea of having others look up to you as though you were better than them.
After about 12 years in various congs he/we had had enough.
He began to see that the loving caring way was not what the GB wanted or indeed promoted.
CO's and DO's are only interested in numbers and hours.
Our cong was according to the CO the best in the circuit for the pioneer spirit and yet we had lost 3 of our elders (all kind men) in just 1 year out of a body of 7 due to them stepping down.
These men were worn out with fighting against the harsh attitude that is coming from the top.
My husband stayed with it longer than he should, he felt responsible to look after others, especially when there were so few elders left, but in the end due to various personal circumstances he stepped down and we have gradually drifted away.

Yes I think most elders enjoy the power and control the position gives them, after all in the world they are window cleaners and janitors, so maybe it gives them a feeling of self worth.

Then you get those who came in as adults with an education, who look down on the less educated dubs and proceed to climb the corporate JW ladder and become arrogant bullies. We have seen them all.

The kind elders dont usually last. They either become bullies to survive in the body or they burn out.

Still why should the GB care there are always others to replace them, people are expendable.

Call it a privilege and brothers will be taken in.

Celtic

Weyyy Heyyy!! Hello matey!! Thought I recognised your name. My apologies for not e-mailing you for ages, life got sooo busy.

OK for us to give each other friendly kicks up the backside again?

All the very bestest from sunny Celtic Cornwall UK!!

Huge hugs

Sunshine and peace

mark
The Helford River is shimmering away still!!

nojw86

There were many good elders when I attended . But there were of them that enjoyed the power trip issued to them. There was one in partcular that stands out . Whenever he cousiled this brother on his talk. he would make this giant of brother cry, he would drive us home and I would ask how was your part etc, bro G said this, and he would stop the car till he got himself under control again. This elder hurt us also in many ways after we left.

waiting

Years ago, in my rowdier, outspoken days, there was an elder in Frankfort, IN, named Doyle Coonrod. He stood up for me, because the rest of the body of elders were ready to df me. I had committed the indiscreption - but it was my attitude they resented. Elder Coonrod behaved like a friend and elder. Years later, I talked with him, and he had stepped down - just got tired. Very good man.

The PO in the cong. where I have attended for 20 years is a WTBTS ass-kisser to the extreme. Talks about being humble, then lies, cheats, crushes people at his own discretion. And has been behaving such for over 50 years. No elder or m.s. in our congregation can succeed, or even survive, without learning to behave like him - or learning to shut up and close their eyes. Most of our best m.s. have resigned because they just didn't feel they had to put up with being literally yelled at in front of the congregation - and they were right.

Many people have been hurt by this man. In order to stay within the cong., people learn to say, "well, that's just ..... way of doing things. Not all elders act like him."

Then the next step: "well, that's just our elders' way of doing things. Not all elders act like them."

Then the final step: "well, the WTBTS is run by imperfect men. But God's Organization is still God's."

Just another way of justifying small men with big egos on a power trip - ruining lives as they rule.

waiting

Seeker

It became my observation that those who spoke the most of their humility were the proudest. Naturally, they were lauded by the brothers for their 'humility.' Those who were actually humble, doing the deed, not just proclaiming it of themselves, were generally looked down upon.

I spotted that hypocrisy early in my JW career and avoided anyone who claimed they were so humble.

waiting

hey seeker,

The PO I'm referring to gets up on the stage, forever humble, cries, shakes with humble emotion, turns red, and forgets everything he wishes to forget. The chump should have been *requested* to step down years ago - he's about 80.

He's a religious con-man - cruelly lording it over others, while shaking & crying. There's another one on the other side of our city, City Overseer, who's just like him (except younger & doesn't cry) - but they don't get along. The joke is that they're too much alike and can't stand each other. Almost all publishers feel the same about these elders. I would assume that the WTBTS considers them quite valuable.

waiting

LadyBug

Hi Ana

In answer to your question

:BEW....what do you think of the subjection issue...you know, "women be in subjection to your husbands"?:

I too believe as you said

:that any good relationship has two partners that will "naturally" listen to each other. Therefore, there is no need to put either partner in control of the other.:

I do not think that either partner should control the other. But there are times when a decision is best left to the husband or vice versa.

BEW

BugEye

Ana,

What do I personally feel?? Well, I think that I am the head of the house and that my word is law. The only difficulty that I have is convincing BEW of that.

No, there are very few problems or decisions that cannot be made by mutual discussion. When one of those arise, one of us will acquiesce but there is no single one that is "appointed" as "boss". BEW is a very intelligent woman and her excellent handling of so many things has proven to me that more often than not, I am served by agreeing with her point of view. And I think that the reverse is also probably true, but that would need to be said by BEW herself.

Actually, a saying that I use not infrequently is "my species often lets me down" in other words, especially in the treatment of our partners, men all too often fail to appreciate women, their thoughts and feelings. This is a generalisation and as such it is not aimed at individuals nor am I laying accusations.

BugEye

ladonna

Hi Tina,

Thanks for your input....it was VERY valid.

What you experienced when you went into the world and was appreciated was the REAL Tina....the one who was made to feel less of a human being was not the real warm person that you are. [:0]

Yes, women were so put down...extremely intellectually stimulating women....and children....what happened and is happening to them is a travesty.

Men in these positions with no idea of the human psyche are and were dangers to humanity.

Thankyou for such great input,

Love,
Ana

Re:Did /Do Elders enjoy power/control

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