Any funny stories of when a"brother" giving a talk, said something "funny" or "questionable", and didn't even realize it?

by Dunedain 70 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Dunedain

  @ - ShirleyW - LOL, Father Capadano is right over the Verazzano, in South Beach. It runs right along the water. They put a nice boardwalk there, in the past few years. Although, after hurricane Sandy, its gone thru a lot over there. A lot of homes were flooded off Father Capadano, from Sandy.

  Small world, if you are from Queens, i am familiar with Howard Beach area, Russos on the bay. We had a family move from Howard beach, into my old cong, many years ago. I also remember a brother giving a talk, visiting from Laurelton, too.
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  stuckinamovement

  One brother at a DC at the Cow Palace told a story about a Witness who cheated on his wife with two 20 year olds. He said when his wife left him on scriptural grounds she told him that she wouldn't forgive him because "he wasn't wired for 2-20". The audience gasped and an announcement was made at the break that the talk wasn't approved by the GB.
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  Dunedain

  @ - Stuckinamovement - Lol, that is some funny shit. I wonder if they "reproved" that brother, right on the spot. Also, unless a GB member was in attendance for that talk, how could they say the GB didnt "approve". Did they call up a GB member, play the talk for him, and he gave the "thumbs down", insane.
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  Coded Logic

  I remember when I was seven or eight baggy clothes had just entered the scene as the hallmark of the 90s and when the CO visited and asked the question, "Do you know why these boys today wear baggy pants?" He then leaned into the microphone and said in a booming voice, "Quick sex - that's why!"

  That was the first time I remember thinking - this information is supposed to be from God?
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  Dissonant15

  Someone was praying and said, "Please bless the congregated thongs" (meant throngs).
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  DesirousOfChange

  The S.H.I.T. story. That happened in my area, too

  I've heard it too.

  JW Urban Legend?

  Doc
  
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  Driving Force

  This is a story I heard.

  There was a brother visiting to give his Sunday Public Talk. After the song and prayer he got up to give his talk, but it was quite clear to everybody in the congregation that his flies were open. At attendant immediately got up and approached the speaker to inform him. The very embarrassed speaker turned around to fasten his flies and bent down slightly to do so, catching his tie in the zipper.
  
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  Mickey mouse

  A few spring to mind. A brother got up to give a talk and when he adjusted the lectern height to put his books in the right position he didn't tighten it properly. As he began his talk he gripped it with both hands and it suddenly dropped to which he exclaimed "oops I've got a wobbly rectum".

  A visiting speaker was giving a talk where the outline touched on horoscopes, he then pulled out the newspaper and read out every horoscope. There were complaints to his body of elders!

  A local elder who wasn't the sharpest tool in the box gave the talk "a godly view of sex and marriage". It seemed that he wasn't entirely clear on the specifics of how procreation worked and got himself in a muddle. When describing the point where an embryo becomes a foetus be inexplicably termed it as when the "embryo becomes a fully full fully". News of the talk spread to those who weren't there on the day and those in neighbouring congregations and a number of copies were passed around for amusement value.

  And of course in every congregation someone said orgasm instead of organism.
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  Lied2NoMore

  Had a DO who seemed pretty arrogant and aloof giving a talk, toward the end of an assembly day, he said, when he was feeling under the weather, he would lay in bed, with his hat hung on his bed post, his wife, to make him feel better, would bring him glasses of brandy until instead of one hat hanging on his bed post he saw two hats.....I looked around at the giddy onlookers and thought, "my god this dude just told us he sits in bed and gets tanked when he's sick!"

  Same DO, same day ended with prayer, adding a little advertisement into it for the flowers on stage by saying" we thank you too Jehovah for the beautiful flowers on stage here......which are available to be taken by those who offer a small donation"

  Thanks brother Gaskin for those priceless quips!

  Another DO was giving a talk relating a story of some sister who got knocked up by some "scumbag" who left her after finding out she was pregnant.

  Scumbag = used condom, pretty "rated r" language from the platform.

  I was like, "really? I wonder how the dude would feel right now if he was in this audience hearing himself described as a "scumbag?"

  Thanks brother Wells for that!
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  Truthexplorer

  Can you imagine saying to a house holder ' hey today we call this our S.H.I.T day......and give a a big cheesy smile.