....and the illustration used in a DC talk about a Squid with giant testacles instead of tentacles!
Any funny stories of when a"brother" giving a talk, said something "funny" or "questionable", and didn't even realize it?
by Dunedain 70 Replies latest jw experiences
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notjustyet
Heard that a elder once mentioned that man was so smart that he can send a spaceship to the moon and never hit a star.
Had a family in a hall with the last name Cummings. They were a fairly short family and after one prayer at the meeting the kids asked their mom "Why did he ask forgiveness for our "Short Cummings"?"
NJY
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dyakoub
@Shirley... Oooh, ohhh, I'm in Queens too. What part are you from? What Congs did you attend. I've skipped through a few in my time in. -
flipper
DUNDAIN- Interesting thread thanks for posting it.
Occasionally when I was in the cult we would get some speakers who really were funny in an extremely comical way giving public talks. I had a close friend who was probably about 20 years older than me an elder, an ex-Bethelite who was funny as hell when he'd give public talks. It's almost like this guy didn't believe a word of what he was saying from the talk outline but just wanted to entertain the audience for 45 minutes to make dull material interesting. I swear to god this guy would make you fall out of your seat laughing with his quick witted humor.
An example for instance was when he was reading the scripture in Daniel about the "fearsome looking wild beasts " that represented world powers and the weird descriptions of those beasts ; after he got done reading the scriptures he said, " Well ! That was entertaining wasn't it ? Sounds like something you get after you eat anchovies on a pizza ! " The audience about fell out of their seats. This guy was FULL of one liners all through his talks. He was always this way.
I often wondered if he was trying to wake people up even as far back as the early 1980's to TTATT. Sadly my dear friend died in a car accident at age 46 in 1983 - he was hit in a head on collision when young people fell asleep at the wheel and drifted into his lane hitting his car head on killing him instantly. He was kind of like an uncle to me and I'll never forget him. 1,000 people were at his memorial and they had to hold it at a high school auditorium he was so well loved. He made other people feel important- no ego in this guy whatsoever. His off beat humor and happy go lucky life style has seeped into my life's way of living to a great extent these last 30 + years. I learned a lot from this friend. May he rest in peace
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ShirleyW
dyakoub - send me a private message
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Gorbatchov
One of the best topics ever, I fall of my chair caused by laughing!
On a sunday morning a guest speaker walked to the platform with a huge stack of paper. His introduction was "This morning you can choose the talk you want, I took them all with me. Family life? Paradise? Last days? Ok, lets do family life. I have to find the outlines first, one moment please".
The elders were not amused.
An other sunday in the mid 80's an local elder had a boring talk. Then we heard a strange sound, we could not define. Some minutes later the sound returned more intensive. The elder looked upset but did go one with his talk. Some moments later the year text behind the platform, a hand craft art like middle eastern parchment cylinder made by an handy local witness teared apart and came down creating a dust cloud. The elder did go on, just like nothing happened.
A great moment in our local witness history.
The last one: I visited the international convention in moscow in the early 90's, and was an official delegate. Milton Henschel did the concluding talk. He read a bible text about Armagedon. Just reaching the high point of this scary bible text a flash of a dark cloud above the Lokomotiv stadium came down following an enormous thunder. At that moment I did believe in God for sure!
Gorby
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FayeDunaway
Driving force, I've heard a zipper story too, but it was a little different.
A guy goes up to give his talk and his zipper was down. He notices, and leans over to zip it, and his tie gets caught in his zipper. He tries to undo it but it will NOT budge, and he can't stand up straight. A helpful brother comes running down the aisle with a pair of scissors, and snips his tie in two. The guy stands up, and the lower half of his tie flops comically down.
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TD
I remember a kid reading Revelation 2:22, missed the word, "those" and read it,
"...I am about to throw her into a sick bed and committing adultery with her..."
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Muddy Waters
I remember a young elder on the platform encouraging people to do business territory, telling the congregation that we have so many little strip joints it would behoove us to take advantage of these opportunities.
Except that he meant to say strip malls, lol.
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Dunedain
I remember a brother saying "living orgasms", instead of living organisms.
I also, remember a few brothers tripping while going up onto the stage. The stage was about a normal "steps" height, but the whole floor was carpeted all the way up to, and over the stage. There was NO distinction, it was all carpeted, and the carpet was this HORRIBLE, ugly VERY BUSY, pattern. So, a lot of visiting brothers, if they werent used to the step up, would trip up onto the stage. I remember, one younger brother, actually tripping up onto the stage, and knocking into the microphone. It proceeded to fall, with a loud AMPLIFIED "BAAAAANG", and broke. So now, the brother had to stand there, like some schlep, while another brother got a replacement microphone, and holder. He was probably standing up there, awkwardly, for like 5 mins, before it was re-set-up, lol.
A lot of times, the brother adjusting the height of the mic, for the next bros talk, didnt have enough strength to loosen the microphone stand, and another STRONGER brother, would embarrasingly push him aside to looosen the mic, lol.
I also remember, a very old, and nearly blind, FRED FRANZ, giving the public talk. My Dad, who was one of the "top elders", of the time, was in charge of getting him "set up" and "ready". Being that he was almost blind, he needed help up that, infamous stage. He also, couldnt see the clock, so he had no concept of "time". He, instead, asked my father to come up on the stage and sit in the empty chair, when he was a half hour into the public talk. This way, since Bro Franz, couldnt see the time, he COULD see that someone sat in the chair on the stage, and then he knew it was a half hour IN, and he had 15 minutes LEFT. Well there was an empty chair on either side of the speaker, my father at a half hour went up and sat on the chair to his left. Well Franz looked to the chair on his right, and in the middle of his talk, he says "WHERE ARE YA", then he looks at the other chair and says "OH THERE YA ARE". He then proceeded for another 15 to 20 minutes, without skipping a beat, and probably if my father didnt go up, he would have just kept on, rambling on, without knowing what time it was, or how long he was up there, lol.