would you hit a woman if she hit you first? (for men)

by pudd 93 Replies latest social relationships

• 

  brooklynNY

  This happened while my wife and I were still married. We were to meet up after work about 5:30pm. However she decides instead to get together with her sister and sister-in-law who were both pioneers to have a few drinks, in fact they got wasted. So after waiting two and half hours, I started to worry so I went home to make some calls. So about midnight she comes strolling in plastered out of her mind, understandably I was angry, not because she was out boozing it up with her sisters, hell she could have stayed out long as she wanted, but she could have given me the courtesy of letting me know where she was so I wouldn?t worry. As I was trying to convey this to her, out of nowhere she blind sides with a right to the eye. I had a severely bruised right eye for a couple of weeks. Needless to say I was angry, however instead of striking her back I walked into the bedroom pack a couple of bags and without a word left. For the next the three weeks she pleaded with me to come back home. I eventually returned but not until I made her life a living hell by telling her that would never live under the same roof as her. And that I going to rat her out to the elders that their favorite pioneer stayed out all night and got atrociously drunk with two other pioneers and became extremely violent.

  We eventually worked things out. That was the first and only time she ever struck me, and from that point on she never dare to raise her had to me. There is nothing like putting the fear of the elders in a dub.
• 

  Nosferatu

  This is what I'm talking about. Some women, even when they are in no danger, feel fully justified in being able to strike a man whenever the mood hits them, even jokingly. It is these type of women who'll find themselves picking their ass up off the ground that I speak of.

  This is basically the situation I found myself in at work. I had never hit a woman previously. I never needed to. Being hit by anyone is a threat, and a person conveying they have power over you whether it be male or female. It almost seems that some women think it's fun to hit a man. There is only so much abuse a person can recieve before they take action.

  The problem I have is society's general view on this subject: "If a man hits a woman, he's an asshole. If a woman hits a man, he deserved it." This makes women very powerful, and as many people do, they sometimes abuse their power. I suspect the cause for society's view on this is the exact opposite has been the case in the past where the men had all the power. So nothing's been fixed, it's just been shifted to the other side of the teeder-todder. Things will only change if man abuse becomes a known problem.
• 

  simplesally

  Sixy, you're right, there is a gray area when you are drunk and coked up........

  Sally (of the 'thinks Sixy needs intervention class)
• 

  Reborn2002

  This is basically the situation I found myself in at work. I had never hit a woman previously. I never needed to. Being hit by anyone is a threat, and a person conveying they have power over you whether it be male or female. It almost seems that some women think it's fun to hit a man. There is only so much abuse a person can recieve before they take action.

  The problem I have is society's general view on this subject: "If a man hits a woman, he's an asshole. If a woman hits a man, he deserved it." This makes women very powerful, and as many people do, they sometimes abuse their power. I suspect the cause for society's view on this is the exact opposite has been the case in the past where the men had all the power. So nothing's been fixed, it's just been shifted to the other side of the teeder-todder. Things will only change if man abuse becomes a known problem.

  That was absolutely well stated Nosferatu.

  Fortunately I have never been put in this situation. I do not believe in hitting women (abuse of either gender is disgusting), but if a woman hit me unprovoked and was attempting to injure me, I would have absolutely no qualms about taking her out.
• 

  flower

  To me hitting accomplishes nothing unless you are a boxer in a ring. I have never hit a man or a woman (well except for one fight in seventh grade) . I cant see myself ever allowing a disagreement to escalate to the point where someone would hit me or I would be compelled to hit them. I am a walk away and talk about it when we cool down kinda person.

  Of course if someone physically attacks me out of nowhere I would likely defend myself.
• 

  sandy

  I am ashamed to admit that I hit my ex once. The first year we dated was rocky. I have no idea how we survived that year, as a couple that is. We were always arguing over something really petty.

  Well one time in a heated argument I was so pissed off that I wacked him over the head. I saw that it took everything in his body to refrain from hitting me back. Looking back on it I would have forgiven him if he did hit me back. But instead, I respected him so much after that incident, for controlling his temper the way he did. He just told me to get the hell outta there. And I did, I felt so bad for letting things get so out of control. We talked about it and worked things out. I still wonder why but, I have no regrets now.

  We stayed together for a total of four years and amazingly our relationship was pretty functional the last three of those years.
• 

  avishai

  Well one time in a heated argument I was so pissed off that I wacked him over the head. I saw that it took everything in his body to refrain from hitting me back. Looking back on it I would have forgiven him if he did hit me back. But instead, I respected him so much after that incident, for controlling his temper the way he did. He just told me to get the hell outta there. And I did, I felt so bad for letting things get so out of control. We talked about it and worked things out. I still wonder why but, I have no regrets now.

  We stayed together for a total of four years and amazingly our relationship was pretty functional the last three of those years.

  Please take no offense, Sandy, none is meant. But i'd like to point out that if a MAN made that statement, he'd be crucified.
• 

  sandy

  I don't know if you misunderstood me Ash but I meant no regrets over the relationship in general. I do regret hitting him. And if I had it to do over again of course I would not have even let a argument get so out of control.
• 

  flower

  i'd like to point out that if a MAN made that statement, he'd be crucified.

  true indeed, but i have no pity on men just for that. they get to be fat, they get to walk around without their shirts when its hot, they dont have to give birth, they rarely are expected to even care for the children they help create I could go on all day. i wont even mention how many thousands of times a day men get away 'convincing' intoxicated or lonely women to do things with them that they normally wouldnt do and then brag about it with their guy friends about how they scored.

  If a man sleeps with a lot of women he is 'da man' if a woman does it shes a slut.
• 

  reboot

  I don't think the question is about women committing spousal abuse, but asking a whether or not men can claim their behaviour is allowable because the injuries they inflicted were after a woman slapped/hit out to get the man away from her during his violence or intimidation.

  I believe everyone has the right to defend themselves-but you have to choose what the right course of action is- rather like in the rape thread the other day.

  We have to make split second decisions-do you defend yourself so you are possibly later accused of being 'violent', or do you remain passive and possibly end up in hospital or dead ?