BlownAway, You seem like a really nice guy. A smart man who is looking out for his family. And you love your wife. All commendable.
Has your wife worked and put money into a retirement plan also? Do you see your financial planner together? Does she have any idea how much a good life costs? Is she concerned when she takes her credit card that what ever she buys, should be paid off by the end of the month so that there is no credit charge? Is she happily joining you in paying off the mortage? Do you save money together before you buy a car or anything major?
When you say your wife has taken some time off to spend with her parents, is that time off from a real job or from pioneering?
You say you haven't had a vacation for several years. Is your wife concerned for your health? Does she plan relaxing days, evenings with you in mind? Does she know your favorite beer, drink, meal? Does she have any idea what would make you happy?
I ask all of this because you seem so nice. Your wife knows you are not a walking, talking ATM machine right? I don't want her to take advantage of your goodness and kindness and think of it as a weakness which it is not.
Her parents had their time in the sun. Their sunset has approached. It is a sad truth.
If you have loved her and tried to cushion her from life's ugliness, sheltered her, and if she is a staunch JW, then she probably is not prepared for this eventuality that is happening to her aged parents. Old age and death. Sorry to say, not everyone has a pleasant ending.
Does your wife not get it that WT / JW..org has just strung her parents along, using them, to further their goals? WT is a worldwide real estate development business that uses the naivety of people to get what they want.
Fact for me. The ones I knew before 1975 that took their pension money out, or sold their home and or business and moved out of the big city, out of the couples I know that did that, one of each of the couples ended up with dementia. One couple, both husband and wife died from Alzheimer's. An exception was one who died a few years back. Not from dementia but obesity, diabetes, then fatal heart attack. All thought and preached that they would never die.
Is your wife 40, 50 years old and still thinks that she will not die? Does she spend time with her parents praying that The Big A comes quickly... still in their lifetime?
Have you and your wife made out your Will and discussed your own funeral plans? Has her parents? So many JW's I know do not plan. They can't think past having their "go bag" ready.
... sorry it is so long... sometimes... I have things to say.