Feelings of an active JW

by XBEHERE 47 Replies latest jw friends

  • bikerchic
    bikerchic

    Welcome XBEHERE!

    Besides her my immediate family are all active "praisers of god's kingdom" some are Elders, MS's, Pioneers. I firmly believe that this is what keeps me and many in the others in the "truth". I have come to understand that this is what cults do. Its membership by coercion not faith. For we know that we would extremely complicate or at worst lose our families if we leave the cult. How sad.

    That is such a profound statement and describes what JW's go through perfectly. I truly believe there are many attending the Kingdom Halls who feel exactly like you.

    I have no magical cures for getting out, I slowly faded then moved away from my home town which really helped me to get out. All the while my believing family still tried their best to "encourage" me to go back. Fortunately I found this site and knew I didn't want to go back. Now I am in a "don't ask, don't tell" situation with them which is okay with me to still be in contact with my aging Mother and ill sister.

    You will find your way and I wish you well on your journey and look forward to hearing more from you.

    Kate

  • Dansk
    Dansk

    XBEHERE

    I come on here everyday and read and read and read. Then I go home and get ready for the meeting and sit there and feel just trapped like a bear in one of those metal claw things. How can we losen the trap and get free? I don't know. I wish I did, believe me I do.

    All I can say is that you must be true to yourself. Once I knew Watchtower was a lie I was out of there fast. Yes, I lost my two daughters - but my wife and two sons are out with me. The truth is, when I exited I had no idea that some of my family would come out with me. My son, Karl, paid me the highest compliment. I asked him why it was that he decided to look at all the evidence I had accumulated when my daughters wouldn't. Karl replied: "Because I knew you wouldn't lie. You've never lied!"

    Why my girls couldn't see it that way I just don't know - but yesterday my wife, two sons and I celebrated a year out of the Borg! I can't begin to tell you how happy we all are now - and I'm not just saying that!!

    Continue coming here XBEHERE but please note that one day you may well have to do as I did or you'll be destroyed inside. I can identify with all you've said, but a lie is a lie and there was no way I was going to stay with an organisation that lied!

    Love,

    Ian

  • metatron
    metatron

    I was in your predicament once too. Here's how to get out:

    You suffer from depression.

    Go to a doctor a couple of times to make it look real ( heck, IT IS REAL if you are posting here!)

    Do a slow fade. When the elders show up to express "concern" TELL THEM NOTHING - except that you suffer

    from depression and are seeing a doctor. Eventually, they'll lose interest.

    Never admit to any doubt or dissension. Never debate about the "truth". Never let anyone know about posting

    here - or expressing anything negative about the Watchtower.

    Remember to report one hour a month - so that the elders can't "flag" you as irregular or inactive. It doesn't

    have to be real because the yearly statistics are mostly fake anyway.

    Get a fun hobby. Fill your new found time with positive activities. Act friendly with every Witness you meet

    as if nothing is different.

    The above has worked for me and countless others - in escaping the clutches of this spiritually dead edifice.

    metatron

  • DevonMcBride
    DevonMcBride

    Welcome to the forum XBEHERE

    Devon

  • willyloman
    willyloman

    Bttt... because this thread is must reading for everyone who lurks here.

    I can't tell you how strongly your story resonates with so many of us, and how perceptive your observations of the others you see trudgiing so dutifully, yet wearily, to meeting after meeting, staggering under the heavy load.

    Amen. That's how I saw it, too.

    For porkchop and all the other delusional apologists who insist the "truth" is alive and well and growing and filling those KH's as fast as they can build them: Read this post for proof there's a cancer growing inside the organization.

  • family_man
    family_man

    Guys,

    For the last couple of days I have been reading your testimonies in sheer stark terror. The reason being that for the past few months my wife has been attending a Kingdom Hall. I am not a JW, I am seeking god through other avenues b/c a long time ago I accepted Juses in my life. At the time I was youang and immature so did not pursue service to god, but years later after marriage and a baby he is back in my life.

    I attended a few meetings at the Kingdom Hall and felt something inherently wrong with what was going on. But my wife won't hear it. It is difficult to argue with what I can only assume "on the surface" is a religion devoted to the bible and God. I am in a state of shock to hear this is a cult. They walk around holier thatn thou which makes them martyrs when I argue with my wife.

    Anyone reading this please tell me more on what happens to JW's when the "honeymoon is over" so to speak and the real constrictive coersive face of the WTS comes out. I suspect this is the SOP of the WTS and my wife will only get sucked into this more and more as time passes. She is at a stage where they are courting her with good works and examples, she needs to know the truth of what comes later.

    Or is all this testimony something only characteristic of American JW's - my wife is hispanic and goes to the Spanish services. Anyone out there AMerican or Hispanic alike please shed some light and tell me what to expect so I can arm myself with knowledge ... I need to win for my wife's and infant's sake ....

  • larc
    larc

    Family_Man, the honeymoon will be over when your wife gets baptized. Then the love bombing will stop and the strict enforcement of rules will begin. You have some time to deal with this, but you need to do a lot of research, to save your wife from this fate.

  • Winston Smith :>D
    Winston Smith :>D

    Xbehere,

    I am amazed when i see you and others like yourself posting here.

    It's a joy to see all of you here on the board.

    I could not imagine staying in once I knew the truth about the Troof.

    So I DA'd myself last year.

    Minus my wife, all of my family our out of the bOrg. And I do have one brother that is fading successfully.

    My heart goes out to all of you still doing the dog and pony show with the WTS.

    I never realized how many there are of you until I saw this thread.

    Good luck to you all

  • PopeOfEruke
    PopeOfEruke

    Hi and Welcome XBEHERE,

    my advice would be: don't despair!

    Even if you have to go to meetings for a while more, at least you can be thankful that your heart and mind are finally free. It may just take a while longer for the body to be free as well. I think you will find that as the freedom in your heart takes hold, your whole outlook will change. At least thats what happened in my case. You may become bolder and happier and after a while its just easy to stop going to meetings.

    Remember Lots wife and DON'T LOOK BACK!

    I wish all the best for you, brother!

    Pope

  • wednesday
    wednesday

    XBEHERE,

    welcome to a safe place ot talk. be that as it may, Amazing gave u some good advice and Metatron aslo gave good advice about the depression thing. Depression is a great out and your wife might even be sympathic to this. What ever u do, don't show any doubts to anyone, and that includes your wife. They will goafter u if they sense u are a dissenter,but if u are depressed, they will generally be more tolerant.

    I quit attending in 96 but I'm not DF or DA. I just don't tell anyone anything.

    Btw, I dont' know how computer savy your wife is, but be careful It has happened to people that their mate found this site by looking in their bookmarks or history.

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