Another survey from Lee

by Lady Lee 54 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Lady Lee

  reading Simon's post about how things used to be I started thinking about how the internet has changed things. Many believe the internet and the freedom of information it contains will be the undoing of the WTS.

  When I was a JW, there were a few DFings but maybe one a year or even less. People drifted away but we really didn't pay a lot of attention unless it was a close friend.

  In here we see new people coming in all the time. Some are still in but want out and feel trapped. Some are doing the slow fade. Others, like me, are DFed and glad to be free. We even hear of people DAing themselves (unheard of when I was a JW).

  So I have some questions running around in my head. Is there a steadily increasing number of people leaving the WTS? Are fewer young people staying or leaving? Even people like me who took an action that led to being DFed had to make that decision - so what was it? Some people leave but still think the WTS is the "truth" - what about them?

  To get a better idea of those who leave and how I have some questions for you. (No reason why I should have all the questions and no answers eh?) SO...

  • What year did you leave?
  • How old were you when you left?
  • Did the internet have anything to do with your decision to leave?
  • If you left before you got on the internet what reading did you do about the WTS or cults that helped you make your decision?
  • What was the one most important reason that helped you decide to leave (even if the decision was made for you through a DFing).
  • If you left and still thought it was "the truth" what helped you change your mind?
• 

  Valis

  • What year did you leave?

  1988?

  • How old were you when you left?

  17

  • Did the internet have anything to do with your decision to leave?

  no

  • If you left before you got on the internet what reading did you do about the WTS or cults that helped you make your decision?

  WTBTS material

  • What was the one most important reason that helped you decide to leave (even if the decision was made for you through a DFing).

  the desire for personal freedom and no more meetings

  SIncerely,

  District Overbeer
• 

  Dawn

  • What year did you leave? 1989
  • How old were you when you left? 24
  • Did the internet have anything to do with your decision to leave? No
  • If you left before you got on the internet what reading did you do about the WTS or cults that helped you make your decision? The Bible - and some other non-jw christian books
  • What was the one most important reason that helped you decide to leave (even if the decision was made for you through a DFing). I felt like I was living in a prison - I wanted freedom - and I did not want to break up with my "wordly" boyfriend to stay "in"
  • If you left and still thought it was "the truth" what helped you change your mind? 2 things: reading Crisis of Conscience, and reading the Bible (without the "help" of the WTBS)
• 

  bikerchic

  I love your surveys Lady Lee, glad if I can help. Here are my answers as best and brief as I can answer them:

  • What year did you leave?

  2000

  • How old were you when you left?

  OMG! Okay, 48

  • Did the internet have anything to do with your decision to leave?

  Yes, but not the X-JW boards.

  • If you left before you got on the internet what reading did you do about the WTS or cults that helped you make your decision?

  N/A I wouldn't read anything against God's Organization!

  • What was the one most important reason that helped you decide to leave (even if the decision was made for you through a DFing).

  The hypocrisy. I actually had an Elder tell me that, "what you read in the Watchtower from the GB as to how things should be done is not necessarily the way the Congregations/Elders will do it." Oh and his statement after he admitted the Elders had done some wrongdoing regarding a cover up. I asked him why he didn't go to the Committee and straighten things out, he said "I'm only one man, I can't stand up to the body of Elders!" I told them they were corrupt and he told me to never say that again or I would be before the committee for apostasy! I was through with all of it after this months of trying my hardest to understand and it boiled down to this couldn't be God's organization. I left and won't go back until pigs fly!

  • If you left and still thought it was "the truth" what helped you change your mind?

  I actually had some doubts due to my sister constantly trying to get me to go back to the meetings. I almost did just to shut her up and I knew also it was because her Elder husband was putting the kibosh on our association. gerrrrr!!! I went to the memorial in 2001 to please her and my Mom. It was another eye opener for me, I was more convinced I didn't want to be a JW.

  Later that year I discovered this site and the rest is history!

  Thanks LL that was cathartic for me.

  Kate
• 

  franklin J

  I started to fade away in 1977, and by 1982 ( graduated college) was out completely

  I was 25 years old in 1982 and for the first time learned to think for myself. Better late than never.

  There was no internet back then.

  My entire familiy ( Dad was an Elder, myself and 2 married sisters were full time pioneers) started to question when one of my sisters Elder husband was caught screwing her best friend ( this was clandestinely going on for some time). They were "serving where the need was great" ( evidently) ( at that time in Maryland) and he was not disfellowshipped because "he was sorry". Also, all the other Elders in their congregation were employed by him ( enough said)

  In 1977, about when all this started, I decided to go to college to study Architecture. All hell broke loose and I was given a very hard time. ( I was a pioneer and was always enouraging all the young people.) And my father ( an Elder) was given a hard time for encouraging me. As the doubts progressed I drifted further away. It all ended abruptly when I came back from studying abroad and was confronted by local elders and their judicial meetings being acused of fornication and drug abuse. All nonsense.

  It taught me a very painful lesson---that what I had been taught as a child was all a lie.

  Unfortunately, at this time in the early 80s, there were no support groups such as this forum. At least none that I could find. I did not read any books or literature that could have offered support. I did have the support and encouragement of many good "worldly" friends. I did rely on 2 years of therapy and at that time what was called "deprograming".

  I am happy to report that my entire family is out, some doing better than others. I am free from all of the "falsehoods" I was raised with and my life is on an even keel ( positive thinking and a positive attitude really work). I enjoy posting on this forum and derive support from all of the posters here who have had similar experiences.
• 

  iiz2cool

• What year did you leave? 2003
• How old were you when you left? 45
• Did the internet have anything to do with your decision to leave? I had some serious doubts about staying in the org, but the internet provided me with a lot of info and helped in my research. The internet definitely accelerated my exit.
• If you left before you got on the internet what reading did you do about the WTS or cults that helped you make your decision? N/A
• What was the one most important reason that helped you decide to leave (even if the decision was made for you through a DFing). Child abuse.
• If you left and still thought it was "the truth" what helped you change your mind? Within two months from the beginning of my research I was convinced that it was an abusive cult, and not the "truth". I left shortly after when it became obvious I could not deconvert my wife.