by Lori 15 Replies latest social relationships
Here's a little thing I learnt,
DON'T force any info on him to try and show him he is wrong this usually ends very bad.
I do though agree with the point of reading Raymond Franz's book Crisis of Conscience availiabe at www.commentarypress.com and it would be good if he could read this too but don't push, plant seeds but don't over fertilise them you just end up killing them.
I learnt this the hard way!
Best of luck!
Welcome Lori!
Let's just cut to the chase. Go buy a shovel, a nice big one with a long handle. Walk up behind your boy friend and.....smack him right upside the head! No!.... Wait!.... Better yet... take the shovel and walk up behind HIS MOTHER and.....well.....you get the idea!
Darling, short of braining the bitch you are in for a lot of trouble with those two! Maverick
Darling, short of braining the bitch you are in for a lot of trouble with those two!
True. You're not going to be marrying just him, but his mother and the Org. Just remind him that the New Testament has no time for polygamy.
Yep, way more concerned about the mamma's boy issue than the JW thing. Eight years is a long time, and if the catalyst for him changing is MOTHER, ouch. Seriously, he's 30 years old, he should be able to tell mother that he's not into it.
Sounds like the first thing you need to determine is whether he believes the doctrines, then the next thing is to find out if he can separate his life from "mother's." (if not, insert visions of Anthony Perkins/Vince Vaughn here.)
Lori, my relationship with my ex was much the same. He was df'd when we met and still df'd when we married. He was also a momma's boy (is that just a coincidence, or is it a product of being raised without being able to think for yourself?) Things started to deteriorate slowly (problems with holidays, etc... just like you mention) but when he started going back to meetings things went downhill fast!! You simply cannot be married to someone and love them and think they are "dead" at the same time. He left me only a few months after he was reinstated, telling the elders that I was a "spiritual endangerment". I never stopped him from going to meetings, but I would not attend and would not change my beliefs.
I know it is hard, but my advice to you is to get out now before you have invested much, much more... the emotional investment is worst of all. I know you think love can conquer all, but the truth is that his love for you will pale in comparison to the synthetic love he believes he owes Jehovah (i.e. the Congregation).
I am so sorry for you.
(((((Lori)))))
A meddling mother-in-law is a big red flag ... it is a sure sign that this boy is still tied to his mother's apron strings. She still dictates his every move, even though he moves around in a man's body. With you, his heart seems to be getting in the way of following her every direction, so you are a threat to her ... and she will do everything to get and keep you out of her way. I am sorry to say this ... it is the human nature of this peculiar kind of animal ... the MIL ... Be glad she is not officially your mother-in-law ... and don't let that happen. Getting involved ... or trying to get involved ... with this fella will bring you no end of grief in the never-ending triangle of you ... and he ... and his mother ...
My advice is break up with him ... with no wavering or weakening. Stay away from this little boy ... he is nothing but trouble. He is not a man by virtue of him being a "mama's boy" ... He has no mind of his own. He is a robot of the most dangerous variety ... being dictated to by his mother and the dangerous jw cult.
Be strong!!!
Lori ... yes ... you may believe in love and that is healthy ... with someone else!!!
Love
ESTEE
