Jealousy, and why it has no place in a relationship

by Maverick 12 Replies latest social relationships

  • Maverick
    Maverick

    The WatchTower likes to use being jealous for Jah as a theme in many of their articles. Of course we all know they are talking about being loyal to the WTS and not the True God. But I wonder if many people get confused about the general attitude of jealousy and its place in a relationship between couples.

    Last week when I was out with my lady friend, (a tall, beautiful black woman) she got hit on by a big good looking black guy right in front of me. I just watched the show and paid no mind to the clod. She sent him pacing. I just drank my drink and smiled at him as he scurried off with his tail between his legs! Later she asked me why I did not intervene or get upset? I explained that I am not the jealous type, and I wanted to see how she would handle herself. She was surprised at this. Other men she had gone out with would have been very upset and maybe made a scene! My response was,"why?" I told her that if I'm doing the right stuff another man can't take her from me, if I'm not, then she is already looking for my replacement. So the best thing for me to do was... nothing! Now if the guy was to grab her or get really stupid that's a different story. But she handled him fine and I enjoyed the whole thing!

    AS I see it, jealousy is a sign of insecurity and a weakess. The point being if she will go with the other guy...you are better off. Some women like to try to get their guy jealous...who needs that? Some guys are little babies when another man talks to their lady friend. It is a lack of confidence and not attractive! Any comments? Maverick

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    Jealousy is a very human thing. If you really love someone you are bound to feel it sometime during your relationship. Handling it intelligently is the key though. If you let it make an a$$ out of you then it isn't cool. And yes, there is some degree of insecurity involved where jealousy raises its head.

    Heather

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    I totally agree, with both of you.

  • freeman
    freeman

    I like what you said Maverick:

    AS I see it, jealousy is a sign of insecurity and a weakness.

    Lets not forget that 1 John 4:8 tells us ?God is love;? and then 1 Corinthians 13:4 says that ?love is not jealous? and then we learn in Exodus 20:5 that God is ?a jealous God.?

    With that in mind, it appears Maverick that you are mature, secure, and do not contradict your own standards, something apparently foreign to the likes of the Watchtower and their god. Bravo!

    Freeman

  • maxwell
    maxwell

    I agree. I don't see any use for jealousy in a relationship. I would fight to protect my partner from physical or sexual harrassment as I'm sure a she would fight to protect me if possible. But I made up my mind a long time ago that I would never fight over anyone. If your partner really wants to be with you, there is no reason to fight for them verbally or physically when someone makes a move. They will always reject any outside advances just as Maverick's lady friend did. If they don't reject those advances or go further than innocent flirting, you simply are not an exclusive couple and if that's something you want, your search continues.

    I've heard of some men who want to keeps tabs on their lady partners. They want to know who they've been with or they get threatened by a girls night out. She is supposed to be an adult with a mind of her own. An adult has a right to privacy at some times and has no obligation to inform you of his/her whereabouts at all times. If she really wants to be with you, you have nothing to worry about. If she doesn't, simply move on.

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu
    The point being if she will go with the other guy...you are better off. Some women like to try to get their guy jealous...who needs that? Some guys are little babies when another man talks to their lady friend. It is a lack of confidence and not attractive

    Maverick, your posts on relationships are always great. You and me very much have the same mindset!

    I've come up with a little rule for myself to live by: She'll make her choice. If her choice is to be with me, then that's great. If her choice is to be with some other guy, then there's no point in me wasting my time with her.

    Jealousy is a very interesting thing. If a woman gets jealous that her man is talking to another woman, it keeps her interested in him. If the man gets jealous of his woman talking to another man, she sees him as insecure and loses interest in him. It has a different effect for each sex.

    That's why using pivots is a great idea ;)

  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    AS I see it, jealousy is a sign of insecurity and a weakess

    I AGREE - I am not a jealous type --but then I am not weak and insecure either. QED

  • franklin J
    franklin J

    I agree with your post, maverick.

    Frank

  • Xena
    Xena

    I agree for the most part. Of course if your partner is insecure you might ask yourself why? Do you flirt with other people in front of him or her? Do you ever tell the person you are with that you love them, respect them, want to be with them? I try and make the person I am with know they are special to me and have nothing to worry about....

    The times I have been jealous it has stemmed from my insecurity, not so much with myself, but with the relationship I was in...I wasn't sure where I stood or how the other person felt about me. I think a fear of losing something we value highly is what prompts jealously....if we feel comfortable that the person we love loves us back and isn't going anywhere it goes a long way in relieving those types of feelings.

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow
    I think a fear of losing something we value highly is what prompts jealously....if we feel comfortable that the person we love loves us back and isn't going anywhere it goes a long way in relieving those types of feelings.Xena

    Very well put, Xena.

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