Thank you JamesThomas. At first I felt very angry.....and then just sad. I know they really believe that they are "doing the right thing" and I saw my dad cry for the first time in forever. I wish so badly that they wouldn't let the WT control them like this. I wish my parents didn't hurt like I know they do.... Trailblazer
Sad and guilty....
by Trailblazer 15 Replies latest jw friends
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itsallgoodnow
Welcome!
I love what JamesThomas said. It's hard not be angry at them and harbor resentment. But it is tearing them up inside, or else they will be feeling regrets later. They are doing what they are mislead to believe is the best thing for you - out of love, no less. And they are scared, too. A wedding is just one day... don't let it destroy your love for them.
And also don't let them know how much it hurts, either. Living a happy life is the best answer to the shunning. They may eventually question why they even bother to continue shunning.
I know this is a tough time for you but you are also making your own new family so there's still lots to be thankful and happy about, so hang in there!
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Mystery
Almost 10 years ago I married my greatest friend. My parents were not present.
Today - he is still my greatest friend and my parents will never know the wonderful, unique, unconditional man that I married. I will never regret my marriage, but... i feel that my parents (my father is no longer here) will always regret not being there.
It is their regret. My only regret would have been not marrying him.
It is your day - not theirs. Regardless... make it your day.
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Mystery
And as always...
JamesThomas has an insight, that I will one day have, that has peacefulness, love and understanding that we all can learn from.
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talesin
Dear Trail,
first, let me say,
WELCOME!
next,
parental guilt is hard to deal with - please remember they are only hurting themselves. You are just following your own path, which is what we are all meant to do. It's not your fault, and, in a strange way, not theirs. Acceptance brings peace.
Best wishes on your upcoming nuptials!
talesin
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Carmel
TB, welcome and hope you stick around. Re: your wedding. Just do it! Your parents may never wake up and smell the coffee, but you musn't dwell on the unpleasant things in life. Go on with it! Make your own happiness and your own rules. Don't let their mind games inculcated by the Dubset control your life. You're in charge.
Hugs to you and your bride!
carmel