I've finally made a decision (page 2)

Dansk

Friends? In Watchtower? You'll soon find out your TRUE friends when you leave.

Don't hang around wanting to please your "friends". Get out of there now if you can. I understand the family problem, but don't leave it. Start to fade now.

Ian

Abaddon

Drift away if you want to avoid DF or DA (which can cause families to shun you even if they technically don't HAVE to).

Live in your own place (it's far harder if you still live at home), don't go to meetings, never be too specific if people ask you why (work. tiredness, depression, sickness), be nice and polite to Elders when they call; "thanks for your concern, I'm really fine, I'm reading the literature, it's just I'm too (busy with work/sick/tired) to go very often". If they offer to take you or something like that, then say, no, it's not conveinent but you're gonna make a special effort for next Sunday (or whatever) as you miss the brothers (did I say keeping a straight face whilst you did this was important?).

pettygrudger

You don't have to tell anyone anything. Perhaps you wish to give your mother an "excuse", but that's as far as I would take it.

Special K

Certainly 20 years old is alot younger than 54...

If you wish to fade...then by all means do so.. just plan it out...

Staying another whole year (in the j.w's).. seems like torture to me though...

Hope you can stand it.. I couldn't.

all the best

sincerely

Special K

Zoewrex

WOW - this is such a huge decission for you and it'll affect the relationship you have with your family. I think the fade answer at another cong. is your best bet. But you have to do this one step at a time. First, move out if you're able. Find a non-JW friend to room with and take the plunge. Go to another cong. and start K.H. 'shopping' immediately. This should take a few months. The Elders will be concerned with your ways and telling them you feel called to another cong. isn't a lie. Start making friends with non-JW's and this could help your transition. Stick to what your heart tells you is true. Many you have known & trusted all your life will try to change your mind and that's going to be an uphill battle. They're fighting for you just as hard as you're fighting to leave. Stick to your convictions and if you're not DF'd then that won't put your family in an akward position - or would it?

I wish you well and please know you have support here. Keep us updated!

badboy

Y not say u feel called 2 another congregation.

Perhaps say that the HOLY SPIRIT SAYS SO!

Strawberryfieldsforever

I think it's great that you have a plan. It seems like a long time tho.....but then again, some of us here took a long time too. We can't say what to do unless we walk a miles in your shoes. Good luck and welcome to the board. I look forward to talking to you this next year. You'll need some friends while you make this big step!!!

Strawberryfieldsforever

LoverOfTruth

Hello Elohim, If I could go back 18 years, I would have faded out. The elders would love for you to tell them of your plans....It will give them some excitement in an otherwise drab life. They will do everything in their power to hurt you and cut you off from everyone, including your mother. It's best to cautious. Best regards, Columbus Ohio USA

Carmel

JRR, You don't seem to have any trouble falsifying your time card, so in the spirit of "spiritual warefare" you are free to tell any lie or exagerate any situation you please, if it gets you out of the situation you want to avoid. On the other hand, do you want to continue living a lie? Why do you want to leave the Watchtower? Do you no longer believe it is thee "truth" or is it socially uncomfortable? In any case you may need to consider being honest about your thoughts and feelings. You have to live with you for the rest of you life. Maybe someone here has a better idea, but to me, how you leave has more to do with what kind of person you are and want to become. Guided by principal may be the hard way but it is the high moral ground.

Just my 1/2 peso!

carmel

a wee scots lass

I too understand the whole problem with family & DF. If you can - say you want to move to another hall to stand on your own two feet - and to build on your spiritual relationship with Jah. Then do as all the others say and just fade away. If I could turn the clock back I would have just sliped away quietly.

Good Luck.

I've finally made a decision

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