I've finally made a decision

J.R.R.Watchtower

hi friends!

I've finally made a decision: I wil leave the WT in december 2004 or january 2005. Please let me explain how I would manage this and I will also like to know your point of view or any other thing you would want to say.

I live in Spain (as some of you know) in a city where there are 20 congregations. I go with my mum to every meeting without loosing no one (my father is not a jw). On march my grandparents are moving to my congregation so I think that by april or may I would leave my congregation to another congregation. O think that my mother won't like the idea but I will do despite their reaction. I think that the elders would like to know the reason why I'm moving to another congregation. I need your help on this. One person told me that I should say that I'm moving to another congregation where the need is greater than in my congregation. But I'm not sure if this could convinve them. I usually preach between 10 and 15 hours a month (of course, I do less than that, it's just the form I fill in). What do you recommend me to say?

The next thing I would do is go to that congregation the same as if I was going to mines.I will try to fing a congregation where I don't know many jw, it will be easier for me to stop going to the meetings or answering the questions of elders I don't know so much. I have to remain a jw until september because in that month there is a special event that, if I'm not a jw, I wouldn't attend. After that... I will wait until december when I will stop going to the meetings.

What should I do? Should I stop going to the meetings without DA? Should I go to the elders by that time and explain them the real reason why I don't go to meetings any more? [If I do this they will DF me, but I prefer these new elders to DF me than the elders who I've known since I was little] What do I tell my mum?

Please I need your answer, they will be very appreciated.

elohim

P.S. Sorry for my English, I hope you have understood me.

badboy

perhaps say,U want 2 b away from family 4 a change.

shamus

Hi there! NIce to meet you!

I would suggest that you "fade" like you have been saying. You do not need to DA yourself. Just stop going, and be "depressed". There is nothing that they can do to you.

Moving away is good; I moved away and faded no problemo.

Why wait so long?

You can do it right now. Become "irregular" in service, and take steps from there.

I really don't fully understand your situation, but hope that some of what I say helps you out. Remember to not let them trap you, and stand up for your rights. Don't let them "sheperd" you. They will just be trying to sift you out of the congregation.

Good luck with your fade, and keep us informed how it is going.

Brian.

ozziepost

Badboy's suggestion seems a good one to me. From your profile you're in your 50s. I'd say it's time to leave home!

Cheers, Ozzie

Sirona

It sounds like you have a good plan (congratulations on making that decision).

Its a good idea to move congregations, and of course in your new congregation you can begin to "fade" even before December. If they see you as "weak" from the start, then they'll hardly even notice if you stop attending. Believe me, its true. My sister is very quiet, and didn't do much ministry, and when she left, they didn't notice!! She has never been visited or anything. She spent about 12 months living with her fiance (not married) and they didn't bat an eyelid. She's married now.

Also, I don't think you should DA. I've never DA'd and they've left me alone. As long as you don't attend, and as long as you don't voice your "apostate" views to the JWs, they don't care what you do, in my experience. It might be different in Spain though.

Good luck!

Sirona

dustyb

tell the elders that you had a bad sexual episode with their wives the night before and it got you down.... hehehhehehe

Satans little helper

In Spain the family is a very big deal and if you stay in the same congregation as your parent and grand parents then you will continue to have problems. Start by going to a new congregation, soon after only go to one meeting a week - blame work, and then go to one meeting every two weeks, then one a month and then none. Worked for alot of people and is less drastic than making a big point and drawing attention to yourself.

scotsman

If you're in a city that has 20 congregations there must be at least one that is in a foreign language, at least English. Move there. It would appear to me to be easier to fade there as foreign language congregations tend to have a much higher turnover of publishers. You could say you want to improve your English, or if it's another language, that you want to help out.

And you are not obligated to explain in detail to the Elders your reasons for moving. You can always say you just fancy a change having been in one hall for X amount of years. It might be harder to convince your mother.

Narkissos

Hola Elohim!

You know your circumstances best. But sooner or later you may realize that breaking free from JW influence just implies telling them que se vayan al Cuerno... (or something similar).

Take care,

Narkissos

J.R.R.Watchtower

Thanks for your posts!!!

I think you are right. I will move to another congregation. I speak English but there is no foreign language group in my city. :-( Another thing is that I'm 20 not 50 (I dont' remember what I'd put in the profile). Also I will star stop going to the meetings and they will give me up. If they try to know why I don't attend the meetings I will say I'm depressed. Sounds good.

Some of you don't understand why I must wait to december. Here are some of the reasons:

1º) I want to attend a wedding of a friend of mine and I need to be in 'good stand' in the congregation.

2º) I need to mentalize about what I'm going to do. Some people consider me a 'good jw' with some privileges. So it will be hard to stop having this friends.

Well basicly these are the reasons. There are more but I can't say more by now. Hope that in a year I will be out. However if an elder tries to know what's happening.. I will give him the crisis of conscience. Maybe this could led into disfellowshipping, but I will leave with honour.

I've finally made a decision

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