Women: Know Your Place

by Pleasuredome 18 Replies latest social humour

  • Pleasuredome
    Pleasuredome

    here's some good sound advice for the modern-day lady of the house, from our old friend, mr chumley-warner.

    1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
    2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
    3. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
    4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper,etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
    5. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
    6. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him.
    7. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
    8. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
    9. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his very real need to be at home and relax.
    10. Your goal. Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
    11. Don't greet him with complaints and problems
    12. Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
    13. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low soothing and pleasant voice.
    14. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. A good wife always KNOWS HER PLACE.
  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    I thought that a woman's place was over my lap getting a spanking!

  • Sunnygal41
    Sunnygal41

    Mr. Chumley-Warner sounds an awful lot like good old George Banks, in the movie "Mary Poppins"..........what is it with you English blokes??????????

  • Sunnygal41
    Sunnygal41

    I feel a surge of deep satisfaction
    Much as a king astride his noble steed
    When I return from daily strife
    to hearth and wife
    How pleasant is the life I lead!

    Mrs Banks: Dear it's about the children
    Mr Banks: Yes, yes, yes, yes

    I run my home precisely on schedule
    At 6:01, I march through my door
    My slippers, sherry and pipe
    are due at 6:02
    Consistent is the life I lead

    Mrs Banks: George they're missing
    Mr Banks: Splendid, splendid

    It's grand to be an Englishman in 1910
    King Edward's on the throne;
    it's the age of men
    I'm the lord of my castle
    the sov'reign, the liege!
    I treat my subjects: servants,
    children, wife
    With a firm but gentle hand
    Noblesse Oblige!

    It's 6:03 and the heirs to my dominion
    Are scrubbed and tubbed and adequately fed
    And so I'll pat them on the
    head and send them off to bed
    Ah Lordly is the life I lead

  • shamus
    shamus

    A woman always knows her place is oddly missing; that was in the original list.

    Sad to say but that was taken from a 1950's textbook.

    Nice.

    Elsewhere; can I be your woman, LOL!

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    Sorry, but Mr. Happy is a "cat person".

  • shamus
  • Smyler
    Smyler
    A woman always knows her place is oddly missing; that was in the original list.

    Sad to say but that was taken from a 1950's textbook.

    Maybe.... but probably not

    http://www.snopes.com/language/document/goodwife.htm

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    SunnyGal,

    I love Mary Poppins. Mary Poppins was sent to the Banks household to teach George Banks that he was wrong and that was neglecting his wife and children due to his macho ideas.

    Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. A good wife always KNOWS HER PLACE.

    Yeah right.

    Heather

  • Valis
    Valis
    Yeah right.

    Heather

    see...this is a fine example of a woman not giving headship...

    Sincerely,

    District Overbeer

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